Sunday, July 27, 2008
So you know how I don't own a laptop and I use the family PC to get online and stuff. So the PC is situated in what used to be the study area, it's the study area because the tuition teacher used to come and teach me English here. And also it has a whiteboard and a library so hence we call it "study area". The study area also happens to be situated right outside of my room and my sister's room.
So it's 3 fucking o'clock in the morning. I am surfing the net, stalking people on Facebook- it's the semester break. I don't sleep till sunrise yo....when I heard moaning from my sister's room. Seeing that it's 3 in the morning, my brain is not functioning all that good but dude, my sister moved out. There's no one in her room. OMG wtf? Is that a ghost?
Then it occurred to me that she's sleeping over for the weekend.
With her husband.
In her room.
Dude, that's my sister.
I am so disturbed right now......
Thursday, July 24, 2008
We drove around the whole island, got attacked by monkeys (little piece of shit bastards), I got asked out by a man in uniform (thank you 3kc!), ate a whole lot of sea food and cheese (shout out to Adrienne!), saw penguins in some weird penguin-god worshipping ritual, tried not to run over pedestrians who walk in the middle of the street like little bastards, take a shitload of pictures, encountered a foot ghost...no seriously- a foot ghost, frolic around in the sea in my new swimsuit, exposed my ass to a whole a beach, try to run down a group of monkeys with the car, develop an unhealthy relationship with a...bukkit, ahem......kok besar (wink wink nudge nudge Cheesecakeerian =p), and get thrown out of a hotel.
All in all a fucking great holiday yo.
As for pictures, y'all have to wait cause I barely took photos on my own camera. Why? Cause I'm the idiot who fully charged the battery and then forgot to put it in the camera. That's why. So I have to wait for the rest to send theirs to me. Longer post later but for now the bed beckons and my legs hurts like a bitch from all that hiking.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
But this is only my second last semester if I get accepted to the university of my choice....on that note I should really stop flunking shit. But really, it's not my fault maths is the devil's tool and I'm too pure to get down with that. Which is just a crappy excuse for being worthless at maths. Meh.
So I'm off to Langkawi. Woooo hoooo!! It's ridiculous but this would be my seventh time down to Langkawi and I'm still excited. I love Langkawi. I love the penguins, the beaches, the food, the ass-kicking duty free chocolates. Fuck yeah!!! Wooooo!! Langkawi!! Also I bought a new swimsuit. Hah!!! I'm insolent bitches. In your face sister dear! Gona go frolicking around on the beach in my brand new suit. Mwhahaha......But...ahem.... I would appreciate if no word of this brand new swimsuit reach her. kthxbai.
Also in my absence I would like to direct the 2 people that still reads my blog to my tumblr account: Valar Morghulis. tumblr is this new hip version of "a blog that favors short-form, mixed-media posts over the longer editorial posts frequently associated with blogging."- as Wikipedia describes it. Artiste use it to publish their work, I use it cause I'm a pseudo-intellectual artsy fartsy snob therefore I must roll with the artsy kids.
Never forget that on top of being constantly dramatic, I am also artsy fartsy and full of shit.
My tumblr is just going to consist of photos I found fascinating, quotes I think are interesting and videos that amuses me....and also random jumbled thoughts that do not fit into Dramatic Musings. Instead of long winded bullshit, it's going to be straight to the point.
Also , I'm heavily into nudes and disturbing surreal artwork. So if blood, nudity, gore, sex and blunt truths makes you uncomfortable than don't click. You have been warned.
Props to anyone that know what valar morghulis means.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Let's talk about fucked up cosmic jokes shall we?
Once upon a time, God was frolicking around in the BIG HUGE galaxy, doing His usual Godly things when- all of a sudden!! - He got bored.
"Now, now" He thinks ,"this is a problem.Must think to self, what can I do to amuse my Godly self?"
So He thought and thought to Himself and then......
"Why don't I kill people randomly for the sake of it?"
But then HE remembers Hurricane Katrina that he evoked and well, that did killed a lot of people and because of that he got his work cut up for him. And God doesn't like to work all that much...redemption and sins and all that is just too much work and well...this is a well kept secret but God is a huge procrastinator and most of them who died?...Well they're stuck in limbo cause God just haven't got around to judge them yet. His bad.
So he thinks again.
"What? What can I do to amuse myself?.....What about if I solve the entire world conflict and finally the humans can have their so desired 'World Peace'?"
And then God remembers something. The beauty pageants. And how fond the contestant of saying World Peace and No, No. He can't take that away from them. What better thing there is to wish for if not World Peace? No. The problems and the conflicts of the world will remain unsolved so that beauty queens can wish and hope and yearns for World Peace.
"So what now? What can I do to amuse Myself? Wait what's that, that little country over there? That's Malaysia. And that's that chick CD. Hmmm...her life isn't complicated enough. Why don't I throw in some guy from her past to her current college? Whom she doesn't like so that guy could go ahead and leeched on to her friends and ruin her reputation? Yeah why I just go ahead and do that? This should give me a real good kick."
So he then guided the said 'guy' from my past and enrolled him into my college and forever ruining my reputation.
And that boys and girls, is the story of a fucked up cosmic joke God is playing on me.
The guy did not ruin my reputation. This was just me being dramatic. But then I was and still is giving him a total bitch treatment and we barely talk so I guess that's why.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
And then woman threw a bitch fit. Like seriously, out of the blue.
"Stop spending so much money bla bla bla, you never think of rainy days bla bla bla, mom and dad not getting younger bla bla bla..."
By this time I was being bitchy to her as well. I wasn't talking back but I was making faces and giving her attitude. I mean I was rolling my eyes and we were on the phone. There's no possible way of her knowing that I was giving the finger to the cordless phone. And then came, the million dollar moment of the whole conversation.
"Are you being insolent to me?"
Dude. Exact word. Insolent.
Huiyooooooo, wa cakap sama lu.
"No, I'm not."
"Yes you are. I can hear it in your voice. And you're probably giving me the finger too" HOLY CRAP.
"Don't you be insolent with me. Mom and dad spoilt you and they give you every reason for you to be the insolent brat that your are. But not to me you're not."
And then it goes on and on for 20 fucking minutes on how I am an insolent bitch that spends too much money. Now at this point you would be asking, how come you don't say anything back CD? Easy question. Cause I'm afraid of my sister. This is a fact.
That woman is fierce. Y'all think I'm fierce, people people....I have got nothing on her. When I was a kid my brother was the one who cycled me around the block, bought me candies and stuff. While my sister was the one giving me dirty looks across the dinner table and smack me at the back of my head if I so much put a toe inside her room. She reversed psychology me like crazy. That shit sticks in your subconscious for all time. Also whens she's pissed off she has an uncanny resemblance to a demented rottweiler. That woman is fierce ok.
So now I can't get a new swimsuit cause I'm an insolent spendthrift- according to my sister. Also, I'm scared that if I do get one...she will...uuhh..... off me for it.
Malaysia is a stupid country.
Really, do you know how long I get stuck in traffic today? 3 fucking hours okay. And do you know why I was stuck for that fucking long because the police have to fucking roadblocks all roads possible.
"Ouuuuu Parliament is going on. Oooouu we're so scared Anwar gonna talk and people would go hear, we're so scared, we're so scared so we gonna block all roads possible into KL so that people cannot go."
Malaysia fucking democracy = "Ohmygawd, political opposition. Holy crap! Block the roads."
Listen, huney. Fucking roadblocking the roads is not gonna make people love you, okay. What it does is just make us hate you even more. So stop roadblocking the roads, you piece of shit government and let the dude talk. Cause that's all he has. Words. He has no money to bribe a 23 year old into confessing a 61 year old man overpowered him and then sodomizes him ok. He doesnt have that. He only have words. And at the end of the day, money speaks louder than words in Malaysia. I know that, we know that, the rats in the
So really grow some balls, stop sleeping during meetings, don't go blowing more models up and most importantly: live the "Islam Hadhari" way. Also enough with the roadblocking, you fucking whoresons. I have finals to get to.
Oh so fucking original.
So I look at him up and down then I went "Oh aku rasa kau makan banyak babi sebab rupa kau macam babi." (I think you eat a lot of pork cause you look like a pig to me.) And then I realise that he was holding a drill gun so I get the hell out of there as soon as possible before he could think of anything to say back...or make use of the drill gun on me.
I feel sad for him. One day I'll get my degree and go on to get a good job and make a good living for myself. Doing all this while still being fat of course, while he would still be the uneducated whoreson that still does construction for minimum wage for the rest of his life.
Poor stupid sad piece of shit asshole.
If I get anyone else look down their noses at me when I mention that I'm doing mass comm- as I always do - because Engineering/Maths/Science/Medic student always look down their nose to mass comm students cause they think they are so fucking awesome and brilliant while mass comm kids are just bimbos who sleep around, I will chop off their dicks using a blunt axe and then spray pepper spray on the wound.
You think its easy writing 4000 words and coming up with ideas within 2 hours you fucking asswipe? Go try it yourself.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Pray tell ser, have you found your DVD? I know, I know its tough isnt it? Fetishes, how people scorn them so. I have a fetish too. Mine fall under the "hot men in uniform" kind of fetishes. Firefighters more like, with their little orange helmets..... drives me wild ser. Just wild. I once know a guy who was into feet that he asked me to take pictures of my feet and send it to him. True story. Didn't sent the photos though. But never ser, have I come across a man with a thing for donkeys.
What's that? It's not uncommon? A lot of people thinks that donkeys are sexy too? Really? This creature?
Hhhhhmmmm astounding ser. I've never noticed it before really. But now that you mentioned...yes I see it now. The shaggy fur, the long face..... ahhhh the divine colouring. Lovely lovely. And the saggy belly. How could I forget that? Yes a gut hanging out is always the pinnacle of sexiness.
Hhhmmm....wait. What's that? Oh the donkeys are not so sexy on their own? You don't say. Donkeys need a sexy woman with that to even become sexier? Ohhh right. Rigggghhhtttt..........
You sick sick bastard.
What the fuck? What the hell is wrong with you?! A donkey?! Why don't you go get a donkey and do it yourself. I mean, I get fetishes. I get BDSM but ohmygod bestiality is just pushing it okay. It's disgusting. Dude go get help or something. This is not ancient Roman in which horses and men do it and come up with centaurs. Those are myths you sick bastard. Short of that go buy a farm. Somewhere far away. Breed donkeys and have crazy wild sex orgy with them. Far away from civilization. Far away from other people. And far away from me.
I would like to talk more about this and come up with ways on which you can fuck off and die but I guess that would be too judgemental of me. But then for the sake of the donkeys of the world, you should die. You sick sick bastard.
You disgust me.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
If a straight woman takes one look at you and the first thing that comes to her mind is whether or not you had a bikini wax....than huney; It's not a skirt. It's a napkin.
If a gay woman look at you and the first thing that comes to her mind is "Uuuuummmm carpet" .....than huney; It's not a skirt. It's a napkin.
If a straight man look at you and the first thing that comes to his mind is "Ooooo punani. I wanna squeeze it first." ....than huney; It's not a skirt. It's a napkin.
If a gay man take one look at you and the first thing that that he says to you is "Girl, you are nasssssty. Cover up."...than huney; It's not a skirt. It's a napkin.
If the first thing that comes to mind when random people look at you is "Damn, what was the plot to Octopussy again?" .......than huney; It's not a skirt. It's a napkin.
If the first thing that comes to my mind when I see you is "Whoa, she has a napkin on her vag....oh wait....that's her skirt......damn. Vagina. Shit I just said vagina out loud. That's completely inappropriate. Oh wait...I didn't say it out loud. I was just thinking. Hhhmmm...... Vagina. Vagina. Vagina.Vaaaaaaaaaaaagina........." ....than huney; It's not a skirt. It's a napkin.
If the length of your skirt is making me blog about it and repetitively using the word vagina, than huney; It's not a skirt. It's a napkin.
See, there are miniskirts. And then there are napkins. Napkins are something that you use to wipe your mouth and hands with after eating. It is not however, something that should be use to barely cover your ass and your.....va-gi-na.
My parents, they foot the bill for my college education. They do that so that one day I could become a productive member of society. So with that in mind, and my aspirations to become said productive member of society I go to my classes to learn. I expect to know what journalism is all about. I expect to know the theories and the power of the media. I expect that what I learn in class would later help me in the industry. What I don't expect is to be assaulted by your napkin-covered-vag during the last class of the day.
It makes me queasy to know that I am "this close" to tapping you on the shoulder to ask you where you get your bikini wax done. I never had bikini wax before. I heard it hurts like a bitch. Maybe you can validate that for me? But then I realise what's the point when its not like I'm getting laid anytime soon and I always make a point of covering up my own vag with more than just a napkin.
Which would bring me to my second point, why do you feel the need to share you vag with the whole world? I mean...seriously. I'm sure that your intentions are good. However skewed they are. But here's the deal. I have my own vag. And it is prettier than yours. I don't need to look at yours okay. Thanks....but no. Cover yourself up woman.
I'm all for self esteem and that whole "confidence makes us beautiful". I do. But your legs............yeah. Fug. I'm sorry. Kudos for the self confidence though but really. They're fug. I was of course distracted by that napkin you were wearing....coz its was just like......half an inch away from exposing your vag to the whole world that for the first 10 mins I did not realise how fug your legs are. But they are huney, they are.
So the next time you come to class. Please don't -under any circumstances- try to share the view of your birth canal with me. I can go on with my life without ever knowing that. Seriously. Cover yourself up. Your vagina is your treasure. Cherish it. Guard it. Give it a wax once in a while. Don't turn it into a friggin sideshow attraction.
Get that, Napkin?
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Microsoft Publisher 2003 is giving me a fucking headache. I am so stressed. My shoulders hurt. Arrrggggghhhhhh!! Editing is a bitch too. Also finals week is the week after next. The pressure is on like a motherfucker.
So no, no post today. Will be back on Friday to bitch bout the fucking newsletter. You bet your ass on it.
I found this picture on one of those artsy photography blog that I always frequent. First of, what the fuck is up with this pic? This bimbo gets on my nerves so much, you have no idea.
Who the fuck sits in a corner, wear a fugly grandma dress and get all orgasmic over whatever-the-hell she is eating. Who?!! Whooo!? This bimbo apparently. The first 3 is not so bad but the last one. Oh Good God the last one. "Omigawd-look-at-me-making-my-cutesy-face. Look at me! Look at me! I'm so cute!!"
Bish plz. Don't make me hurt you.
You are not cute. Stop trying too hard. The fact that you made a seemingly cute face in the end does not make you cute. It just make you become one of the ridiculously annoying cutesy-Harajuku-wannabes that overpopulated my college. The ones that every time I look at them, I have to remind myself that murder borne of hate crime (for cutesy bitches wannabes) is a federal crime. Okay? I don't need this shit. I go to fffound.com to destress and look at pretty photos not at your constipated face.
If you are cute, you don't have to try be cute or make faces to show that you're cute. I'm cute. I don't even try to be cute. I am cute 24/7 and when I'm not that means I look smokin hot. Okay, that's a lie. But fact of the matter is that I don't sit in corners while wearing fugly dresses and making some orgasmic cutesy faces. When the fuck have anyone eaten anything in real life and reacted with that expression? Never I tell you. Only annoying bimbos like you.
One day I will end you and all of your kind.
Okay, back to newsletter.