Sunday, December 18, 2011
This is turning into a sappy Bridget Jones blog. I am sorry.
So....I sort of...kinda....a little bit.....dating a cop.
I know, I KNOW! What the eff right?
It's just dates and there's nothing specific or official but he's really keen but I'm not really keen but he's young and he's fresh out of cop school (8 months!) and he's like buff and his ass looks really, really....really good in the uniform, you guys. Like really good....like damn that ass is so tight, it could deflect bullets. Which is good, cause he's a cop. Could come in handy...the tight ass.
And if you guys remember anything at all about me, you remember my thing with uniform. Although I have always veered towards firefighters...
So it have only been dates and movies and no official "labelling" of such, but he's pushing for it and I'm holding it off....but I dunno.
He's cute. But he's a cop. And well.....a cop. He's going back to school next year so he could become a detective....but that's just fancier version of being a cop.
So I dunno. I think he's cute. And he's funny. Slightly pushy. And a bit possessive...but most men are possessive so nothing special there. Except that he has a gun.
Shit.
What should I do?! Cut it off cause he's a cop? I mean, dating is dating...and I sort of holding out for another guy who is not a cop whom I'm totally into and he's into me as well but he's a fucking pussy that won't ask me out and I'm like "I don't wanna make the first move cause I don't wanna emasculate you," so we both go around sneaking glances, and me flirting with other guys in front of him to make him jealous and have so many girls nights out where I profess my full blown crush on him to my girls and how the answer is yes, it will always be yes if he JUST. FUCKING. ASK. ME. OUT. ALREADY.
But he doesn't.
And then the cop dude comes around. And he asked me out and I said yes cause even though I totally like the other guy I'm like "I can't wait for you forever till you grow some balls and realize that you like me too and I need to be out there while I still have perky breasts and is this fucking hot and I really can't wait for you babe. Aaallll this, don't come easy. Fight for me."...so I said yes.
And now I'm sort of dating a cute cop with a tight ass who wants to make it "official" while all I could think of is the other guy who always sneaking glances my way, who makes me happy by just being near, whose slight brush on my hands makes me sweat, whose the first thing I think about everyday -- but is doing nothing and there are problems at work and my friends are getting married all over and ohmygawd -- the pressure people, the pressure!
Also, my ass have not grown any tighter or any perkier eventhough I fucking take RPM classes 4 times a week and I do 60 squats EVERY. FUCKEN. DAY.
Oh wow....look at that. This is a proper post after all.
So dump the cop? Or have faith and see where this goes? I truly need an answer to this one people. I truly do.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Oh wow, I'm a writer. A legit one.
In case you guys are wondering what I do now...well I am a writer for a female-oriented magazine. Yes, I write for magazines. I use to fantasise telling people that I “write for a living” back when I was younger. The fantasy was when someone ask me what I do for a living, it was either:
Saturday, July 02, 2011
The way we used to be
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Home is in a different time-zone
Thursday, June 16, 2011
"Creepy" doesn't even cover it
Monday, June 13, 2011
I wash my hands off this bish
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Intermission
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Awkward is my (imaginary) middle name
Got home, feeling all superior. And knowing that my housemates won't be home at this time of day, I thought it would be completely okay to strip down to my sports bra as I entered the house cause my shirt is hella wet and I don't wanna get pneumonia. After all, we all collectively know each other's schedule now and this is an all-girls house. Should be fine, right? Riiiigggghhht?!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Hey, remember when I used to be funny?
Friday, May 06, 2011
Russian roulette
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Seriously, God hates me
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Me and Bitchface McGee
Looking forward to that actually.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Close encounter of the creepy kind
- There are so many weight training equipments in the gym, why are you not using that asshole?
- Why are you doing push-ups and abs curls, shit you can do on your bedroom floor but you chose to come to the gym, and in my full view?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Creepy assholes need not apply
I am freaking out here people.
I know I have been gone for a looong time and well, life happens. To get y'all up to date: I have now gone on an epic quest to become a bonafide runner. I have done three 5ks so far, signed up for my first 10k next month and if all goes to plan, I will be running my first half-marathon (21.5km) in July during the Gold Coast Airport Marathon. And for all that, I have been hitting the gym quite hard actually. Like.....90 minutes sessions 6 days a week. And that's just cardio, we're not talking about strength training yet. I abhor strength training by the way, but it has to be done. It would help me with the half marathon and the full marathon at the end of the year.
Which brings us to our actual story here.
The gym that I go to is my apartment gym. It is not one of those fancy schmancy Fitness First-type gyms. It is just equipments, open 24 hours a day for residents, comes with the rent and well, situated in a glass bubble in the middle of the complex, overlooking the pool. I feel like a fish every time I workout cause of the glass walls.
Our story begins last Friday while I was hitting the treadmill hard. I try to walk/run (cause I am not such a good runner yet) at least 7km a day...sometimes 10km a day when I feel like it. I run outside sometimes too but it is autumn now and it has been raining a lot here in Brisbane...I really could not be bothered. So I was on the treadmill in my aquarium gym, it was completely empty but for myself when this guy came in. He smiled. I nodded. Then he started saying something and I was like “What now?” I honestly do not know what he was talking about cause I was trying not to die here. Running for me is that fine line between pleasure and eternal death. Gotta concentrate so that I don't keel over and die whenever I run. Obviously, this fucker did not realise that.
Dude went on and on and I honestly do not know what the fuck he was saying. I was like “Um asshole, can you not see I am trying to workout here? WTF?” But obviously I didn't say it, I was more like “Uh huh” to whatever he was saying. I did get bits and pieces of it, mostly along the lines:
“Oh I see you in the gym before.
“Uh huh.
“You come here quite often.
“Uh huh.
“You really workout huh?
“Uh huh.
“So I see you tomorrow here round this time?
“Uh huh...wait what?
“I see you tomorrow.
“Uumm...uh huh.”
And then he left, which I was thankful for. I finished my workout and then it occurred to me that dude was trying to chat me up. And that was just ridiculous cause when I go to the gym, I always, consistently look like shit. We're talking old shirt, faded pants, sweating buckets, flushed cheeks and just gross all around. And who the fuck chat up girls on the goddamn treadmill anyway? And I was like okay, that was weird and that was that.
The next day I went to the gym round the same time and he wasn't there which I was thankful for. Finished my workout and as I was leaving the gym, he came running out of his house waving at me. Turns out he lives in the house right NEXT TO THE GYM. Which kinda make sense at that point. And he was like
“Oh I thought I come see you after you're done...
“Okay.
“So what are you doing tomorrow?
“Uhh.....”
“I'm just gonna walk you home okay?
“Umm...this is where I live.”
Like, the gym is probably a minute walk away from house. So we kinda stood awkwardly in front of my place. The thing is... I have noticed him before round my area cause he's kinda hot. But in a threatening kinda way. There are 2 types of hot: The first being men who are just hot cause they are good looking (ie: Orlando Bloom) and the other type is that they're kinda have a dangerous vibe to them (ie: Clive Owen), kinda like a bad boy. This guy is of the second type. He's about 5'11, slim, muscular, really nice arms.....but its kinda messed up cause one arm is pretty much all covered up with tattoos. And y'all know how I feel about tattoos. He's hot when I seen him around from afar, but now that he was standing in front of me, with his tattoos and shit....it is intimidating. And threatening.
“So I'm going in now...really nice meeting you again *Tyler.”
He just stood there like I was supposed to invite in. WTF? I just met you. Again, awkward. Then he said
“Okay I'm just gonna talk with my boys and I'll be back okay?”
After that he just left, he didn't really give me an option. I was like “Did that just happened? Did that guy just invited himself to my place?” And of course, I freaked out. I texted like 3 of my friends
“HOLY SHIT! SOME GUY FOLLOWED ME HOME FROM THE GYM! HOLY FUCK! CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS!! I MIGHT BE DEAD ALREADY!”
Set the police hotline to my number 1 speed dial and literally just barricaded myself inside my bedroom for the next half an hour...and he didn't show up. So I thought it would be safe to go out to the kitchen cause I was really hungry at that point. Just as I was starting to cook, he knocked on the front door and the shitty thing is that my kitchen is right next to the front door. I can't actually hide now can I? So he stood there looking expectantly at me and I felt cornered....I invited him in. I should not have done so but I felt cornered. I was also, well frightened to a certain degree cause I didn't know how he would have reacted. So he came in and it was really tense, well for me. He seemed really relax and I was on the edge of my seat especially cause the house was empty but for the two of us. Both my house-mates were out. One went home to her parents' place, the other is spending the night at her boyfriend's so, yes, I was edgy. Thankfully my phone kept on beeping and ringing cause of the message I mass texted to my friends so I was like “Look! You cannot kill me now cause people know you are here!!!”
At one point he even said “You look so tense, I have a bottle of wine at home. Would you like me to bring it here?”
ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!!
He could have just said “Oh yeah, I totally wanna get you drunk so I could rape you when you're out cold.” Would have cut out all the bullshit right?
I finally managed to fake a very important phone call from Malaysia and told him to go home. Before that he was still like;
“Right, so what are you doing tomorrow?
“Movie with a friend. He wants to watch that new war movie.
“Oh what time is that?
“I dunno yet.
“What about at night?
“Going out with my girls.
“What about Sunday?
“Uumm.......church.”
He stared at me while I try to keep a straight face. Church, my ass. I'm not even Christian dude. Then I said
“Look, we live here. I'm sure we would bump into each other someday. I really need to take this call now.”
And he left. It was strange...and I am creeped out by it. On Saturday, I did went out with the girls and then on Sunday round 6pm he came knocking again. The shitty thing was that I was sitting in the living room watching some creepy-ass movie so when the knock came, it scared the shit out of me. And again, I was alone. No house-mates. I answered the door and he was like
“Hey what are you doing?
“Watching a movie.
“Should I watch it with you?”
Seriously, that's what he said. How pushy can an asshole be? And I said
“Um no, I'm planning to get some work done after this. So no.”
He looked surprised so I went on.
“So I'll see you okay?”
And closed the door. And that was that. I wonder if he got the message.
I'm kinda creeped out still. What if he comes around again tomorrow? I mean, he knows where I fucking live people. My house-mates are back but still....And this probably means that I can't go to the gym anymore cause then he would know when I'm home, right? This is bullshit!! All I want is to do is workout in peace. Is that too much to ask for? For fuck's sake man!
Plus, I dunno what he wants but he's coming on too strong. Coming around whenever it suits him. WTF. I don't even know you. It's creepy! Like he could at least ask for my number so that he can call before he wanna come around. Not that I would give him my number, but it won't matter cause he KNOWS WHERE I LIVE. It's scary. I'm creeped out. It's okay if he's not coming on too strong but he is. Plus, he's in a no-win zone anyway with those tattoos.
Looks like I have to start running outside tomorrow and the weather forecast says it would rain.
This is bullshit.