Friday, March 25, 2011

Close encounter of the creepy kind

We shall begin today, with where Creepy-Ass Gym Dude (as he will hereby be known) left off. So he came by last Sunday and wanted to hang out and I told him no, like all in his face y'all. It should have been noted that when I said that...his face changed. Not scary changed, he just look utterly surprised. That was all, and after that he didn't come around (that I know of) which gave me a relatively creepy-assholes-free existence for an approximately 3 days until Thursday rolled in.

I was at the shopping mall library when I saw someone I recognise vaguely as one of his housemates. Here in Aussie, they have libraries in the shopping malls and the libraries are pretty kickass. You can borrow DVDs, CDs, audio books, magazines, foreign language media, video games (PC, XBOX, PS 1,2,3 and Wii) on top of the usual books and they're all free. You don't even need to pay to get a library card, you just need a valid Queensland address. That's all. Malaysia should get on to this- stat.

So I was in the library at the fiction books section when I saw the guy whom I recognised vaguely as his housemate. I certainly have seen the dude coming in and out of the house by the gym before. So me being me, completely panicked cause I assume Creepy-Ass Gym Dude would be there and I was not wrong. In like another second he appeared and they were making their way to the DVD section. And I was like “He didn't see you, be cool. Be cool.” Of course I was telling myself this while I was also trying to hide behind the bookshelves and sort of walk run to the furthest bookshelf from the DVD section. Once I got there I just crouched down on the floor and stared intently at the books that were in front of me. The thing is, the titles didn't made sense at all and I cannot figure out why they were not making any sense. But that's beside the point.

The point was, there I was, a grown woman, crouched on the floor, trying to hide from some guy. The fuck? Come on! I am better than this. I am woman. And as a woman, I can take whatever that life throws at me, throw some glitter on that shit and sell it over eBay for 5 times the cost. Cause I am woman. So I stood up, grabbed a random book of the shelf and just started thumbing it. So what if he sees me? I will not be cowed...despite him knowing where I live and all that. I know where he lives too! So there! So what if he's creepy?! I'm bitchy. I can handle this. I am badass. I am woman. All these shit was goin on in my head as I furiously thumbed the book like it owed me money or something. Then a voice asked me;

“You're not Japanese...”

It was some kid in school uniform.

“No I'm not. Why?
“But you can read Japanese...
“Isn't that a Japanese book you're holding...I just assume could read Japanese. Cause that would be cool.

Oh....that's why it was not making any sense....

“I'm Malaysian. Everyone from Malaysia can read Japanese. It's in our learning syllabus.”

The kid looked thoroughly impressed.

“Yeah...I need to go now anyway. Konichiwa.”

Totally pulled that out of my ass man. So what if I was not totally un-frazzled? I am woman. I will rise above this. I did however...stayed in the library for another hour after I made sure the coast is that I won't bump into him in any other part of the shopping mall.

You bitches can stop sniggering now.

Things were fine until Leigh* asked me to go the gym with her. Up to this point, I have been avoiding the gym like a plague. Leigh is my 23-year-old Australia housemate. She is, by far, the sweetest person I have ever met in my entire life. She is also, the nerdiest. I kid you not. The woman has been on the Dean's List since her first sem and she studies Biomedical Science. That shit is not easy, and to be on the Dean's List every damn sem is quite a feat. Fuck, I study Journalism which is chicken shit compared to what she is doing and I'm not even close to the Dean's List man. She's very clever, but also very shy and timid. It took me about 10 days to coax her into talking to me when she first moved in. At first I thought she was an arrogant bitch cause she won't talk to me but then whenever I talked to her, said hello or whatever, in the early days,she would smiled shyly at me before scurrying into her room. Like a mouse. Bitches don't smile and scurried, they give you dirty looks, ignore you and model strut into their room. I have now managed to get to talk to me...and now, she doesn't want to shut up. I swear to God. Sometimes my brain hurts from her chatter, but I don't mind.

“Leigh, I don't wanna go to the gym...Creepy gym asshole would be able to see me.
“But I'll be there. You won't be alone. Plus, what about that whole “I am Woman” thing you spewed when you came home just now?”

Ah for fuck's sake...

It was with heavy trepidation that I followed Leigh to the gym that night. Things were okay for the first 10 mins, I felt semi-relaxed....until Creepy-Ass Gym Dude showed up. I am fucken with you not. The dude showed up. I am woman...but I freaked out like shit. Inwardly, of course. I was controlling my facial features but I was screaming bloody murder inside. He came in, looked at Leigh who was on the elliptical and completely avoided my eyes. I was like “Okay, will not be awkward if you don't make it awkward. Be cool CD. Be cool.”

So I continued running while Leigh continued with her one sided chatter, oblivious to my drama. And the whole time, he continued being in my view but avoiding my eyes and I was avoiding looking at him. It was fucken stupid. High school never ends people. He was doing all kinds of push-ups and abs curls and bla bla bla. I don't want to say that whole show was for my benefit but um......

  1. There are so many weight training equipments in the gym, why are you not using that asshole?
  2. Why are you doing push-ups and abs curls, shit you can do on your bedroom floor but you chose to come to the gym, and in my full view?

Sometimes my life is so stupid, I just wanna give up.

Then he moved to the back of the gym where he was actually using the equipments, and considering the fact that I was running on the treadmill and all the equipments are facing the treadmill, I'm just gonna make the assumption that he was also looking at my ass. Do you know how fucked up it is to be running and to have someone creepily stare at your ass? It is fucked up. Then the whole time I was on the treadmill, I keep on telling myself to go faster than usual cause I wanna show him that if he ever chase me as prelude to killing me and then mutilating my body and then burying me in concrete at a construction site, he will however, need to chase me first. Which is tricky, cause he's an athlete...and he runs track.

See, I know there are bunch of young athletes living in the complex. I seen them train and I have spoken to some of the girls who's on the team and they told me that they been placed here for their training. They don't work, they don't study, they just train. I seen them around with their coach sometimes and I know they go to some high tech gym over the other side of the town. The girl that I spoke with have been to 2 Olympics and 3 Commonwealths I think. I'm not sure. But they're athletes and they do track. Creepy-Ass Gym Dude is one of them.

So that's why when he showed up last night, I was all spooked. Why do you come to this stupid apartment gym when your government is paying for you to go to some state-of-the-art gym? Amirite, amirite? Ah creepy. But yes, I can't run as fast you but I still run asshole. I can still run. Also I don't get it, I'm not even hot. If I am totally hot, I would get this but I'm not which brings me to my other theory:

Have you guys heard of this well jock thing, that when their team is in a bad state, one of the jocks would find a fat chick and have sex with her so that they could get out of their losing track or something. I never heard of it, until I come here. But yes, its like sports superstition. Take one for the team aka have sex with a fat chick and then your losing streak would be over. Seriously! Have you not heard of this?

I'm fat. I wear a size 14 AU/UK. He's a jock. Think about it...cause I reckon this is what it is all about.

I left the gym without looking at him and as soon as we got home Leigh went;
“That was the guy right?
“How could you tell?
“There was a seriously weird vibe when he came in.”

I wish he would just find another fat chick for him to get over his sports funk or whatever cause this is irritating me. It's not fair. He has his fancy athlete gym, I only have this one. I should have custody of this one.



Dark Half said...

hi CD. it's my first time comment on your entry. i didn't read the whole thing from the beginning but i find it quite hilarious for you to avoid this guy whom you called 'Creepy-Ass-Gym-Dude'..haha!

well, as an asian maybe you should 'jual mahal' a bit and play hard-to-get. and i could understand (if not all) why you act cautiously for such a guy

NoktahHitam said...

Dark Half, that's why you have to read you moron. She's totally avoiding the guy not trying to jual her ass to the white meat! Damn read laa boy.

CD: The story gets better and better. At least you did the right thing, telling him off. I'm sure he's ashamed of how you shunt him, hence the weird vibe.

I believe it's autumn now? Must be windy and cold out there. Take care and drag Leigh if you want to hit the gym. (it would be impossible to chase after TWO WOMAN at the same time).

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Dark Half:

I'm glad you're entertained by my drama. But seriously, bukan jual mahal...just really creeped out.


Yeah dude, sooo taking Leigh with me to the gym now. Tak berani nak pergi sorang....for now anyway.

Anonymous said...

Okay, first of all, never let him inside again. Never let ANY person you don't know in your door just because they show up. The fact that they show up does NOT mean you're obligated to let them in, or even talk to them.

If he tries to chat you up again, you can tell him "I'm flattered, but I'm not really interested in dating right now."

If he wants to know how long until you will be, you can say "Maybe in a couple of years. Check back then."

If he wants to know why you're not interested in dating, you can say, "I appreciate you asking, but I don't want to talk about it."

Now, if he won't accept this, if he still keeps trying to talk to you, you can look uneasy and say "I'm starting to feel uncomfortable now. I really don't want to talk about this."

If he persists, you can step back, fold your arms as if you're cold, and say, "I feel really uncomfortable. You shouldn't be asking me these questions."

Or "You're making me uncomfortable. I don't want to talk any more."

Or "I'm very uncomfortable with this. You should not be asking these things. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm leaving now."

If he keeps approaching you, then you can refuse to look at him, and say, "I'm really bothered by this. Please leave me alone! You're bothering me. I don't know you. I do not want to talk to you."

Do not answer questions; just keep saying over and over (and get louder, so that other people nearby will hear you) that he's bothering you and you don't want to talk to him, that you don't know him and he should leave you alone.

If he gets threatening, then you can face him with a very serious look and say firmly, "I don't know you. Stop bothering me.."

If he seems about to turn threatening, say very loudly, "Leave me alone! I don't know you!"

DON'T look him in the eyes - look at his nose instead--it's harder for people to intimidate you if you avoid eye contact; it's also less of a "challenge" to them.

Try to project the message to him that you don't want trouble, but if he tries to hurt you, you will CAUSE trouble; that you will fight as hard as you possibly can and not give up.

People who threaten others usually want victims who won't be much trouble. Make it clear that you WILL be trouble - a lot of trouble. And be prepared to fight if you must - to fight hard, and to fight dirty. (Just thinking that way, just being ready to fight if you have to, will make you seem more confident and stronger-willed to others (and to yourself)

When you tell him to leave you alone, if other people are around, say it loud enough for them to hear. If he tries to hurt you and there are many people around who don't seem to want to help you, say directly to ONE of them "You--call the police, now!" See, sometimes, when there are a lot of people around, they hesitate to get in the middle of things, thinking that someone else will surely do it if they don't. But if you focus one or two individual persons, you have a better chance of getting strangers to help you.

Good luck, and may whatever Being or Beings you believe in protect you. In fact, pray for them to. (It can't hurt.)

ni said...

Awesome, man.