Thursday, April 07, 2011

Seriously, God hates me

I really wanna write something witty and hilarious today. But I can't. I'm depressed.

So fucking depressed.

So a little back story, I've been losing a considerable amount of weight ever since I started running last Sept. When I said considerable, I mean 19 kilos. That's about 42 pounds, if you're not on the metric system. Weight loss have never been the main goal it was more of a “Holy shit, I totally wanna run a marathon before I die” kinda thing. I'm still fat though, there's about 16 more kilos to get to my ideal BMI. However, that's not the story here. The story here is that going from a size 18 to 14 means that I gotta buy new clothes every now and then so that I totally not look like a hobo.

I been belting my clothes and doing the whole stylish layering thing for a while now cause seriously, it gets pretty expensive if I wanna buy a new wardrobe every time I drop a size. Pants however, are not as forgiving as tops cause those bitches totally slide of you. I was in the ladies department today looking at some budget pants that I can double up for gym/home/and possibly sleepwear when one of the ladies that were working there kept on staring at my boobs.

Seriously...creepy, pervert, psycho much?

Then she came up to me, put her hand on my shoulder and went

“Don't take this the wrong way love, but I seriously reckon that you're wearing the wrong bra size”.

Okay so she worked at the lingerie department and all....but still...kinda creepy.

She asked me what my size was and I told her and then she, again, stared openly at my boobs and went

“No love, you might have been that but I'm telling you went down a cup.”

She gave me some new bras and you know what...she was right.

I did went down a cup. It was not like I wasn't aware of it. There have been tops that have previously been very awesome at the cleavage area that are no longer....cleavage-y. But I been telling myself that's cause I lost all my back fat, hence the tops are no longer as fitted as they are. Boobs are still however, in tact.

I was lying to myself of course.

My boobs have shrunk. My awesome rack, the type of rack that you would write home no more....Holy shit I'm depressed.

I mean, WTF?! Why is it that the moment I lose weight it comes from my boobs and not my stomach?! WTF?! Why, WHY do God hates me so? I mean, seriously God, what is your deal? Like do you revel in my misery. Why the boobies God, why?!!!

Oh the pain! The pain...I cannot take it.

Probably have to take a tranquilliser to deal with the pain and the shock before I go to sleep tonight. Also, I'm losing my ass as well. Like I know I shouldn't be discussing this but my ass is shrinking as well. It's not perky anymore you guys! My ass is not perky anymore!!!! Arrrggghh!!! So now, I don't have tits AND ass. It's ridiculous. But still a lot of belly despite all the abs curls I do. No tits, no ass...but yes on the belly.

Seriously. I bet this is all some kind of bullshit cosmic joke, so the Big Guy could have his shit and giggles.

Then today, my boss told me that since sales is not going good so they're closing the shop next week. I have been working part time in a stationery/gift shop for almost 6 months now...and they're closing down the shop next week. So in a week's time, I'll be jobless.

So let's review, shall we?

No tits. No ass. No job.

And you bitches think you got it bad.

Bye bye boobies...