Saturday, May 31, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Like "we want grandchildren" = "go have more sex that resulting in our firstborn to be impregnated". I am sure my parents are aware of the activity that involves making babies. How they would know about that, I really, really, reaaaaaaly do not want to know. But I am making an educated guess here that they do. So I mean, come on. Am I the only one seeing this?
The Constantly Dramatic One doesn't like children. In my opinion they are annoying little buggers with sticky finger that should always -at all times- be at least 20 feet away from me. Its not like that I hate children, although it might come off like that I just merely do not know how to deal with them. In order to interact with people, I use my charming personality and my witty observations on life. I cannot do this with children seeing that they have yet to develop the mental capacity. But once they do, I'm completely cool with them. Once my nieces and nephews (the children of my cousin, they're still my nieces and nephews right? Or are they my second cousins? Meh.) hit the 11 year old mark and quite capable or conversation, they no longer have to obey the 20-feet-away rule. They can come and roll with me.
Its the little ones. I don't get it when people, especially women, ooohs and ahhhs when they see little babies. I know some women who thinks all babies are cute, just because they're babies. I hate the burst your bubble hun, but some babies are just ugly. And annoying. Toddlers are annoying. Observe:
Oouuuuu I'm hungry. Feed me. *cries*
I'm so cute. Pat me. *cries*
Like everyone have to take care of me even though they have other things to do. *cries*
Oh I cannot eat properly and there's stains everywhere. *cries*
Annnnnnoooying. What is their appeal? Why do people like them? Some of them are cute. I agree. But from afar. Kids are only cute from afar. They are only cute when they don't have their sticky fingers all over my outfit. They are only cute when they are not tugging my hair. They are only cute when they obey the 20-feet rule. People that need constant attention and undivided adoration irritates the hell out of me. This is why I don't like children. Also I don't like dogs because of the same reason. Clingy.
After all this you'll be surprised to know that I do want to have a kid. One child. Only one. I'll use a surrogate mother so that I don't have to squeeze him/her out of my vagina. That shit hurts man. Also no breast feeding. The only one that have full access to my nipples is Clive, stuff the kid. I'll send him/her to a boarding school in Timbuktu.... or Bora Bora- depends on which one I can afford, which of course sufficiently keeps the kid's sticky fingers away from my hair. Then when the kid turns 13, he/she can come home and gets to know Mommy.
Its a plan.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I just wanna crawl into bed and die.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Yes, I know that he's dead. And no the Constantly Dramatic One isn't a necrophiliac. But dude was hot back in the day. If you are an avid classic musical fan, you would definitely at some point totally have the hots for either a) Fred Astaire or b) Gene Kelly. Fred was all about elegance and grace in his dance where else Gene on the other hand...well Gene was known for his innovative, athletic style of dancing. Which translates into: "Holy mother of god! That move he did was hot! Rewind. Pause. Still. Still.....Aahhhhh".
One of Gene most famous quote was "If Fred Astaire is the Cary Grant of dance, I'm the Marlon Brandon." Indeed he was right.
Age: 84 at the time of death.
Ass status: When he was young and alive, super tight. Man was a dancer people.
Another dead dude. Yes yes......I know. Messed up.
The thing with P.Ramlee was that he was and will always be legendary in the Malaysian film industry. During his lifetime he directed, written and starred in as many as about 40 films that till day are being enjoyed and admired by the masses. No works of any other Malaysian filmmaker can achieve the greatness that P.Ramlee had.
So maybe as an aspiring filmmaker, its not the man that I am attracted to. But the legacy that he left behind. His admirable body of works and the fact that till this P.Ramlee's name is spoken with admiration and fondness. Also you gotta admit, dude looked pretty fine in Nujum Pak Belalang (1959).
Age: 44 at the time of death.
Ass status: I don't really care to tell you the truth.
Ahhhhhh Charlie. I already had my eyes sat on him in Casanova but Stardust truly seal the deal. People, I totally watched Stardust 4 times. Once on my flight to Chicago and then 3 times in a row on my flight from Chicago back to Malaysia. It took a whole lot of self control not to just screamed "I love you Charlie!!!" and then dry hum the seat in front of me, where the screen was. Seriously.
Its his smile that gets me. Every time he smiles, I die a little inside.
Ass status: Its okay. I can deal.
First saw him on the ill-fated British supernatural show; Hex. Fell deeply in lust. There's no one better to play the smokin hot, uber sexy demon Azazeal than Michael himself. Than of course when I spotted him in 300 running around in a loincloth alongside Gerard Butler....and that was it.
I had to watch 300, three times coz the first time I couldn't pay attention due to the hotness radiating from the screen, the second for the actual so-called plot and the third coz you know....300 men. Running around in loincloths. He played Stelios and this is his famous scene from the movie:
Ass status: Yummy.
Yes. I know. You guys seen this miles away. Who didn't? Ahhhhh Clive Owen. Supreme Hotness, Smooth Operator, All-around Badass. The Constantly Dramatic One wants to do you. Desperately.
I would rip that suit off him. Seriously.
Maybe its the baritone voice. Maybe its the chin. Maybe its the fact that he is one of those men that doesn't have an ounce of feminine side. A bonafide caveman. A supremely hot caveman. Remember that scene in Closer, when he was talking dirty to Julia Roberts? Yeah, I dare you to find a hotter scene than that in any given mainstream movie. Clive Owen, too hot for words.
Ass Status: Pretty damn tight.
So there you go. That's my long awaited list. I'm tagging:
Natalija (No link coz her blog is by invitation only.)
Sunday, May 18, 2008
"Some people who contract HIV experience very strong symptoms, but others experience none at all. Those who do have symptoms generally experience fever, fatigue, and, often, rash. Other common symptoms can include headache, swollen lymph nodes, and sore throat. These symptoms can occur within days or weeks of the initial exposure to the virus during a period called primary or acute HIV infection." ***Taken from HIV Insite.com
I'm going for a HIV check up tomorrow. I'm scared.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Dude, I got super excited. The cheapest I have paid for a full body massage was RM92. Yes, stress on the word "cheap". Bullshit. So when I saw "RM50" I got super excited. I can get a full body massage twice a month now. I called the place up and a woman with a thick Chinese accent answered the phone. She told me to speak in Malay coz she can't understand English. Than she told me that they have more promotion and now its actually RM45 for a one hour full body massage. Fucking RM45 for a one hour body massage. That's 47 less compared to my "cheapest" massage. I got super excited and since I was parked in front of the building I asked her if I can come in now and get one done and she's like yeah of course.
The moment I walked in I knew something was off. First of I have been to a number of spas and massages places. They always have that relaxing theme going for them. Scented candles, running water, ginger tea the whole nine yards. This place have none of that. The only thing in the reception area was the receptionist desk. Other than that it was an empty room...and she was completely alone, until I come.
Then I was like "Hey before anything, could I see your massage area. I'm very particular about comfort....". She took me to a big hall. In the hall there were like these....little cubicles. Its not a cubicle. Its more like they hang curtain in between to make each "room". The "rooms" were all about 6x5...I think. There were thin mattresses spread out on the floor of each room. And they weren't clean. Have you ever pictured in your mind how illegal immigrants of 20 live in one tiny room. Yeah, that shit. And worst of all the place, the supposedly relaxing massage place - reeks of sweat, urine and other bodily fluids. Its dodgy as hell.
I told her that I change my mind, I forgot that I have a family thing I had to get ready for. By this time my hand was in my bag clutching my pepper spray, I was very nervous. I figured if there is any sudden movement I will pepper spray this bitch and make a run for it. But she only look irritated and she told me to come back anytime. They're open until 3 in the morning.
Before I left I noticed that behind the reception table there was another room. I took a peek inside and it was a waiting room. A blue sofa with holes in it, a number of assorted mismatched chairs and men's magazine spread out on the coffee table.
Lets put two and two together:
1) Full body massage = RM45
2) Lacks of any deco. Merely the massage cubicles and nothing else.
4) Reeks of urine, sweat and I'm pretty sure....semen.
5) Men's magazine on the coffee table.
6) Open until 3 in the morning.
I bolted out of the place as soon as possible. I was practically running down the stairs. Shit man. I felt filthy. Than I noticed that there was a spa across the street. The proper type like you see in shopping malls. With glass for doors and their messues in clean uniforms. I was looking at the brochures (RM 82; full body, one hour) when I asked the ladies about the place that I have been too. Then I told them that I came from there and they look scandalized. I asked if anything...dodgy goes on there. "We never been in there, but their customers usually come at night when we are closing. Round 9.30ish. Mostly men.....they have lots of China girls working there." Note, China girls as in from Mainland China.
8) Male costumers.
9) Mainland China girls.
Whatever it is, all I know is that I cannot shower enough to get the filth of that place out of me. Its in my pores. Its in my hair. Fucking shampooed my hair 3 times already. I probably need to shave my head bald to get it all out. And have a check up for STD. I probably have crabs now. More logical than syphilis.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
At this point the White Manager walked in...
White Manager: Boys, come up with a name yet?
Fug doesn't even begin to explain the cover art. "Oooouuu lets have a background that looks like flames or the close up of a praying mantis's head- depends on how you look at it and bigass font. That shit's gangsta." Suuuureeee.....
I am so traumatized by this. I'm thinking of dropping my handle "Constant Drama" and go with "The Constantly Dramatic One" all the way. At least that's all mine and I no longer have to be associated with this ridiculously lousy hip hop album with the fugly cover art.
Monday, May 12, 2008
I have been tagged by Gypsy, who y'all should know by now is the Constantly Dramatic One's bestfriend all the way from the schooling years. And woman have to tag me with what I am declaring as the most DIFFICULT tag imaginable in the history of the blogsphere. Seriously. I'm supposed to list down the 10 hottest men as according to me. Its kinda tough when I have like 50 dudes all over the place.....Took me ages to come down with the top ten.
It was painful having to leave some out. Gut wrenching, heart breaking....... but it has too be done to honour the tag. Also I honestly have nothing else to do...actually I have to clean my room but fuck that shit. So I present to you:
Iker Casillas of Real Madrid.
The first time I saw super hottie Iker Casillas was on the massive screen in the stadium. The year was 2002 and my family and I was in Suwon, South Korea - Fifa World Cup 2002 bitches. Ireland VS Spain game of which Spain totally pwned Ireland in the knockout stage.
Have you heard of the saying "Football is a beautiful game"? Yeah....looking at Iker I completely understand why they say that.
Ass status: Super tight. I mean c'mon, he is an athlete.
Super Hot YouTube video: *click*
Ahhhhh....... Sean Bean. You might not be familiar with this British badass coz he isn't all that famous. Mostly plays the second fiddle to the leading man or the sophisticated villain. Last seen with Nicholas Cage in National Treasure. And oh yeah, he was also Boromir in Lord of the Rings. He was the star of his own TV series, Sharpe (1993-2006) in which he struts around in a period military uniform and makes all the panties drop.
For me....its not really the face, its more like the voice. Dude have the manliest voice I have ever heard. I have a couple of his movies on DVD and I just let it play to hear his voice. Sexiest voice evvveeeeeeerrr. I could burst a blood vessel just listening to his voice.
Age: 50 (Kinda creepy coz he's uuhh....as old as my mom.....I think I should seek psychiatrist help one of these days....)
Ass status: Not tight but he's old so.......
Super hot youTube video:*click*
Basically a new discovery. I have been obsessively watching MADtv videos on youTube which also explains the lack of updates. Keegan Michael Key is one of the funniest and talented cast member of the current MADtv cast and he always cracks me up. A man with a sense of humour is indeed a sexy man.
Ass status: Its okay......
Super hot youTube video: None, but there are some really funny ones. And my favourite is this one where he is pretending to be a fake African. Its hilarious. Check it out!
First and foremost Juanes is a musician, a very talented musician. His uber hotness comes from his unmistakable passion for music. You can feel that passion in every song that he sings. And I say that from a view point of someone who speaks no word of Spanish. When you don't understand the language, you enjoy the beats, the flow but most of all what attracts me to any kind of music is the passion conveyed by the singer. And Juanes have truckloads of that.
Passionate, talented and I did mention he's a rock star right?
Ass status: Very niiiiiceeeee....
Super hot youTube video: A whole lot but this is the link to my favourite song of his; A Dios Le Pido
Most people pronounces his name as well, "Ral-ph Fien-nes" but in actually you pronounce it as "Rafe Fine" and indeed he is ffffiiiiiinnnneeeeee. Suave and sensual are the words to describe Mr.Fiiiinnnee. And oh yeah, that's also that little thing about him. You know that little thing of looking smoking hot in a uniforms. Schindler's List anyone?
I want to lock him up in my closet and make him my play thing.
Now you know.
Ass status: Dunno. Too fixated with his eyes.
Super hot youTube video: *click*
And we're done with the first part. Stay tuned with the second part and yes Clive Owen is in there somewhere. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
To be continued............
Friday, May 09, 2008
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Thursday, May 08, 2008
I feel dirty all over. And guilty. Like I'm a nerd rapist.
A paedophile nerd rapist.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Pssssss babes, You're wearing the sari backwards.
And oh get this, Katherine Heigl who looks like this:
Plays the dumpy sister. Now lets just scroll back up to the picture above and think about that again.......
You can of course say "CD, she's just acting. That's what she do. She's an actress." Now, see... I know that. I am after all a student of the mass communication lore. That is of course speaking logically. But fuck that shit. If she is the dumpy sister, than WHAT THE HELL AM I?!! Have you seen my sister? Have you seen me? Oh woe self esteem, where have you gone too? Fucking Hollywood. Giving me inferior complex.
Fuck you Hollywood!! Fuck you!
Screw this. I'm not eating till next Thursday.