A massage and an extra somthin somthin......

I might have been inside a brothel today.

I'm very disturbed.

I was driving around town today searching for some stuff when I realised that there were a whole lot of spas and massage places around my area. Those that cater to full body massage, sauna, body detoxifying, etc...basically things that are up my alley. These places were everywhere so I got sidetracked from my primary mission and instead went on a spa hunting mission. I was driving around around when I saw this huge banner spread out. It says:

TRADITIONAL FULL BODY MASSAGE RM50

Operation hours 9am - 11pm

Dude, I got super excited. The cheapest I have paid for a full body massage was RM92. Yes, stress on the word "cheap". Bullshit. So when I saw "RM50" I got super excited. I can get a full body massage twice a month now. I called the place up and a woman with a thick Chinese accent answered the phone. She told me to speak in Malay coz she can't understand English. Than she told me that they have more promotion and now its actually RM45 for a one hour full body massage. Fucking RM45 for a one hour body massage. That's 47 less compared to my "cheapest" massage. I got super excited and since I was parked in front of the building I asked her if I can come in now and get one done and she's like yeah of course.


The moment I walked in I knew something was off. First of I have been to a number of spas and massages places. They always have that relaxing theme going for them. Scented candles, running water, ginger tea the whole nine yards. This place have none of that. The only thing in the reception area was the receptionist desk. Other than that it was an empty room...and she was completely alone, until I come.


Then I was like "Hey before anything, could I see your massage area. I'm very particular about comfort....". She took me to a big hall. In the hall there were like these....little cubicles. Its not a cubicle. Its more like they hang curtain in between to make each "room". The "rooms" were all about 6x5...I think. There were thin mattresses spread out on the floor of each room. And they weren't clean. Have you ever pictured in your mind how illegal immigrants of 20 live in one tiny room. Yeah, that shit. And worst of all the place, the supposedly relaxing massage place - reeks of sweat, urine and other bodily fluids. Its dodgy as hell.


I told her that I change my mind, I forgot that I have a family thing I had to get ready for. By this time my hand was in my bag clutching my pepper spray, I was very nervous. I figured if there is any sudden movement I will pepper spray this bitch and make a run for it. But she only look irritated and she told me to come back anytime. They're open until 3 in the morning.

A massage place that's open until 3 in the morning.

Rigggghhhttt.......


Before I left I noticed that behind the reception table there was another room. I took a peek inside and it was a waiting room. A blue sofa with holes in it, a number of assorted mismatched chairs and men's magazine spread out on the coffee table.

Lets put two and two together:

1) Full body massage = RM45
2) Lacks of any deco. Merely the massage cubicles and nothing else.
3) Filthy.
4) Reeks of urine, sweat and I'm pretty sure....semen.
5) Men's magazine on the coffee table.
6) Open until 3 in the morning.

Holy crap dude, I think I have single handedly discovered an erotic massage parlour. And holy crap it pretty near to home. What the fuck kind of area do I live in?!! That place was so filthy. I could feel the STD in the air. I'm not kidding you. Maybe there were like syphilis molecules still in the air and when I went in it probably gets stuck on me. Great. Now I will fucking get syphilis without actually engaging in any promiscuous premarital sex activities. Fuck.


I bolted out of the place as soon as possible. I was practically running down the stairs. Shit man. I felt filthy. Than I noticed that there was a spa across the street. The proper type like you see in shopping malls. With glass for doors and their messues in clean uniforms. I was looking at the brochures (RM 82; full body, one hour) when I asked the ladies about the place that I have been too. Then I told them that I came from there and they look scandalized. I asked if anything...dodgy goes on there. "We never been in there, but their customers usually come at night when we are closing. Round 9.30ish. Mostly men.....they have lots of China girls working there." Note, China girls as in from Mainland China.

7) Costumers come late at night.
8) Male costumers.
9) Mainland China girls.

Shit man. Does an erotic massage parlour counts as a brothel? Its still a form of sex service right so that counts. Dear God in Heaven, I was in brothel. Shiiittt.....What should I do? Should I just forget about it? Should I file a report? But last time I've checked, in Malaysia's dumbass legal system erotic massage is not a crime.


Whatever it is, all I know is that I cannot shower enough to get the filth of that place out of me. Its in my pores. Its in my hair. Fucking shampooed my hair 3 times already. I probably need to shave my head bald to get it all out. And have a check up for STD. I probably have crabs now. More logical than syphilis.

Great, I have crabs and I'm not even getting laid.