Thursday, April 07, 2011

Seriously, God hates me

I really wanna write something witty and hilarious today. But I can't. I'm depressed.

So fucking depressed.

So a little back story, I've been losing a considerable amount of weight ever since I started running last Sept. When I said considerable, I mean 19 kilos. That's about 42 pounds, if you're not on the metric system. Weight loss have never been the main goal it was more of a “Holy shit, I totally wanna run a marathon before I die” kinda thing. I'm still fat though, there's about 16 more kilos to get to my ideal BMI. However, that's not the story here. The story here is that going from a size 18 to 14 means that I gotta buy new clothes every now and then so that I totally not look like a hobo.

I been belting my clothes and doing the whole stylish layering thing for a while now cause seriously, it gets pretty expensive if I wanna buy a new wardrobe every time I drop a size. Pants however, are not as forgiving as tops cause those bitches totally slide of you. I was in the ladies department today looking at some budget pants that I can double up for gym/home/and possibly sleepwear when one of the ladies that were working there kept on staring at my boobs.

Seriously...creepy, pervert, psycho much?

Then she came up to me, put her hand on my shoulder and went

“Don't take this the wrong way love, but I seriously reckon that you're wearing the wrong bra size”.

Okay so she worked at the lingerie department and all....but still...kinda creepy.

She asked me what my size was and I told her and then she, again, stared openly at my boobs and went

“No love, you might have been that but I'm telling you went down a cup.”

She gave me some new bras and you know what...she was right.

I did went down a cup. It was not like I wasn't aware of it. There have been tops that have previously been very awesome at the cleavage area that are no longer....cleavage-y. But I been telling myself that's cause I lost all my back fat, hence the tops are no longer as fitted as they are. Boobs are still however, in tact.

I was lying to myself of course.

My boobs have shrunk. My awesome rack, the type of rack that you would write home no more....Holy shit I'm depressed.

I mean, WTF?! Why is it that the moment I lose weight it comes from my boobs and not my stomach?! WTF?! Why, WHY do God hates me so? I mean, seriously God, what is your deal? Like do you revel in my misery. Why the boobies God, why?!!!

Oh the pain! The pain...I cannot take it.

Probably have to take a tranquilliser to deal with the pain and the shock before I go to sleep tonight. Also, I'm losing my ass as well. Like I know I shouldn't be discussing this but my ass is shrinking as well. It's not perky anymore you guys! My ass is not perky anymore!!!! Arrrggghh!!! So now, I don't have tits AND ass. It's ridiculous. But still a lot of belly despite all the abs curls I do. No tits, no ass...but yes on the belly.

Seriously. I bet this is all some kind of bullshit cosmic joke, so the Big Guy could have his shit and giggles.

Then today, my boss told me that since sales is not going good so they're closing the shop next week. I have been working part time in a stationery/gift shop for almost 6 months now...and they're closing down the shop next week. So in a week's time, I'll be jobless.

So let's review, shall we?

No tits. No ass. No job.

And you bitches think you got it bad.

Bye bye boobies...


Peter Varvel said...

Gwen Stefani and Paris Hilton don't have any tits either. They have enough money to buy fake tits any time they want, but they don't - and they still look beautiful.
LIKE YOU! You still look beautiful, TCDO, even without a job . . .

senorita.. said...

oh honey, fabulousness is waaaaaaay more than just tits n ass.


Laila said...

Went down a cup size!!
Girls would forever remember the days we graduated to yet another cup size fondly. But going down!
Oh boy, CD! the horror!


the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Yeah...the job this is bugging me more than the whole T and A thing. Thanks for your awesome words though =)


Yes. That is true. Hhhmmm...


The horror Laila! The horror!! =P

Melissa said...

hello again after such a long pause from you CD =)
was very pleased to finally hear from u again, though it would be more pleasant to hear happy stories from you.

anyway unfortunately i had to break the news to you dear, when you lose weight you tend to lose weight around your ass and your boobs too =(

but hey, look at the bright side, if you're gonna lose anymore weight after this, at least your boobs and your ass would be in proportion to your current svelte bod, don't you agree? and i must tell you that if you dont lose those pounds off your rack and your bottom, with smaller bod and all, you'd be suffering from severe back ache that you might even end up with some spine problem ><

so don't you worry pretty, God definitely does NOT hate you, He's hand in hand with ya in this whole thing. and you're still awesome, no matter what your cup size is, remember that!

p/s: is that creepy ass dude still bothering you?? plzzz be careful

NoktahHitam said...

CD, as Ts and A's lover, I do pity the downsize. But for many reasons, its better to have FIRM TA than flapping/ saggy ones. Lesser fat, means better muscle to fat ratio. But then again, thats subject to personals POV. I like firm ones than big and saggy. Hope this does not qualify me as a perv.

Sorry about the job. I'm sure you can find a better suited job for in the future. Try taking up your journalism stuff as part time thing. I'm sure you'll work your magic easier.

Again, dont be too depressed over TA size. ;)

MK said...

You are still lovable CD, with or without tits (or ass)!

As for the job, you might wanna try freelance writing? Not sure if you have heard of, it looks promising.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


It is so awesome to know that a doctor reads this blog and can tell me all that I need to know about this stuff =D


Yeah...I totally got over that. Ish. Okay lies! It will take a while but thanks to your words I will stay strong.


I'm loveable? Really? This is news to me and thanks for the tip! I appreciate it.

melissa said...

i just read your latest post and i must say, i'm shocked beyond words. n i was reading it at work and i'm also writing this to you from my workplace. i wanted to send an email to you only to realize that i have lost your email address, to which i'm very sorry about. to be honest with you, i'm not writing this to you to offer sympathy or anything such, because i am pretty sure you that was the least of your concern when you wrote the post n showed it to all of us to be read. i just want to say that you have inspired me a lot and you're such an incredible person, inside and out, even though i don't have the chance to know you personally. thank you for sharing this with me and the rest of your readers. and i'm very sure that you believe the saying that says, everything that happens, happens for a reason. take care and all the best of luck for you. god bless.

p/s: you need not approve this comment.


una berry said...

I have the same problem too
lose weight, went down a cup size but still have the belly