This day, 20-something years ago...

You know, when I was a kid.....I can't wait to grow older and become an adult. Now that I'm an adult..............this shit sucks ass man.

No, no "Happy Birthdays" bitches. Ain't nothing happy about growing old. Tomorrow after sending in my assignments, I'm gonna go out and get my first anti-aging cream. And more black eyeliners considering that I'm so fucking emo now. After that I will go out and live my life fully cause my days are numbered. The thing is......I would probably kill myself when I hit 30. So now is the time to live out loud.

Le sigh.

So enjoy your day. I'm gonna go sit in a secluded, dark corner of a coffee shop somewhere and reminisce of days gone by while sipping black coffee with tears trickling down my face. Then I will go to a museum and absorb the culture and art that Australia have to offer. Cause even while being emo, I still have an artsy-fartsy-pretentious-snob reputation to maintain. And what's better then the richness of art on the very day that I am being reminded…..once again, of my fleeting youth and ultimately; my mortality?

It’ll be like a scene from a Godard movie. Only you know…..not French.

And then come Friday, when all my friends have finished their exams and send in their assignments, we’re gonna take a one hour drive to the best strip club in the state and have a stripper give me a lapdance. Cause you see, lapdances are one of the things old people like me could enjoy.

So suck on that, younger people who are reading this blog. Suck on that.

And the emo-ness goes on..

This post was written in response to this.

************

I’ve started this blog as a class assignment. It involved into something more.

I am no longer blogging for me. I am blogging for you.

Your validation means a lot to me. It’s like a drug I cannot quit. As an aspiring writer, I am thirsty for validations. Validations from faceless strangers to tell me “Yes, CD, you’re good.” “Yes CD, you’re entertaining.” “Yes CD, you might just have what it takes to not end up living in a box of this whole journalism thing that you are doing.”

But here’s the thing…I write cause I want to. I write cause I like it. I write for me and not for your validations. I have forgotten that somewhere along the way.

With that, blog commenting is now completely disable. Dramatic Musings will stay…sans the comment box.

Read. Enjoy. Hate. Judge.

You have the option to email me….but would you really?

Meh

My birthday is in 16 days.

16 more days till I become old.

16 more days till youth is just a passing memory.

16 more days to realize that despite being old like a motherfucker; I have not achieved anything spectacular in all this time.

Invisible

I have not cured cancer. I have not won Olympic medals. I have not have hot kinky sex with Hugh Dancy. I have not scaled the tallest building in the world. I have not fallen head over heels in love. I have not have the balls to admit to people around me that I am a feminist. I have not rallied against oppression. I have not fought for freedom for POWs. I have not done so many things.

The last 20 something years have been a waste. A waste. 

16 more days to go and chances are I am not going to change the world in any way.

Fuck this. I'm depressed.

No more post till I'm over being depressed. Or until I get some Prozacs.

This is not the end.

I have been thinking, I have been thinking of not blogging anymore.

 

It’s like this….

 

I used to be that girl.

 

Who reads books of fictional character’s adventures cause I don’t have my own. I used to watch dramatic movies with apt concentration cause it takes me to places where my life will never get to be. I’m used to be that girl who follows blogs obsessively…..reading other’s people’s fascinating lives and envying them cause in my mind…I will never have that.

 

 

I used to be that girl who waited for “my real life to begin”.

 

 

So I blogged and I read and I become lost in my world of daydreams. Of fantasies never to be realized.

 

 

Of remarkable lives that is not mine.

 

 

And then I get here and suddenly that “real life” that I have waited for…for so long… begun. Unknowingly, without me realizing or knowing how exactly…but it did. And it’s exciting and I have so much stories that I could never share in one lifetime. People who are just like the characters in the books I’ve cherished so much for so long are calling me up for lunch. Romantic entanglements that I thought only happens in movies are happening to me. Weird shit, embarrassing scenarios…everything and its all happening to me.

 

To me, the girl who became the Constantly Dramatic One because her life is too mundane. The girl who strived for drama in every waking moment cause there is not enough excitement in my life….and now….I no longer do. I no longer need to be that drama queen just to not be bored anymore.

 

 

My real life has begun.

 

 

And for some reason….this blog has little to no part of it.

 

 

This is not goodbye.

 

 

Merely a note in passing to dear readers that have been reading for so long. I will keep blogging of course….but if one day I was just to disappear without even a goodbye post know that I’m gone. I’m living my life. I’m never good with goodbyes just that you know…..sometimes life takes you to unusual places and some of those places have no net connections.

 

 

Or perhaps this entire post could also be because it’s August. And next month is September. And come the 21^st, I’ll be old like a motherfucker.

 

And man, I always have the blues whenever my birthday comes around.

This day was made ossum by my birth

The Constantly Dramatic One is now officially 20-something. Ha! As if I let you people know how old I am.

Anyways, feel free to wish me love and adoration and make fun of the fact that I'm old and scaring me with the notion of grey hair. Yes Zikri, I'm talking to you. Also please begin your comments, birthday wishes, worships with:





"Her Ossumness the Constantly Dramatic One"



and ending with





"OMGWTFBBQ!!! I luv U!!!"

Failure in doing so would end in me rejecting your comment.








Also if you don't feel like commenting OR wishing me a happy and joyous birthday OR to offer to build me an altar of adoration for my fabulousness but instead would like to leave me a hate comment, please begin like so:








"Fat bitch I hope you die getting run over by a truck"








Please also include as much usage of the word "fat", "obese", "bitch" and "sayang" as much as your heart desire. If you feel like insulting my mother, father, granduncle, adopted half-brother, second cousin thrice removed, golden hamster and even the imaginary unicorn named Gustav that lives in the mountain plains of my own world of make believe- well go on ahead. You can also proceed to remind me which month this is according to the Islamic calender (hint: it's Ramadhan). Whatever rocks your world.








On my birthday, I would like even creatures that have nothing to do other than trolling people's blog, creatures who did not get enough love as children and basically creatures who are just so much inferior in the ossumness of my presence- happy. For you see, not only is the Constantly Dramatic One is fat, obese, dramatic and ossum, but I am also kind. More so to creatures that have so much time in their insipid little lives to read my blog and then leave amusing little hate-filled comments. It's okay. Nothing wrong with wanting to share my glory, sayang.








Plus, I love the ATTENTION. But…. you know that already kan sayang? Now revel in the ossumness of this day that is my birthday.








hugs, kisses, a pat on the head and muacks especially for my sayang,


her Ossumness,


the Constantly Dramatic One

Update (Sept 22nd 2008)

Sayang, where are you? Don't you want to remind me that I'm fat and that you want me lose weight so that I wont be hideous anymore? Also I've forgotten what month this is according to the Islamic calendar. Can you let me know again? Puuuuuhhhhllllllleeeaazeeeee.........*bats eyelashes kawaii style*

I'm waiting for your reply with bated breath sayang! Miss you already!

Muacks!

53rd

"Happy birthday to the best dad I know,

A father I love and respect,

A dad who fulfills all his duties,

To teach, to guide, to protect.

If everyone had such a father,

A really good dad like mine,

The world would be so much better,

It would look like God’s own design."

By Joanna Fuchs

Selamat Hari Jadi Ayah!!

Under my non-existing Christmas tree

Christmas is around the corner and every time I think Christmas, I think that Hugh Grant movie Love Actually. Now that's one of the ultimate feel-good-movie there ever was. I never receive a Christmas gift which is no surprise coz I don't celebrate Christmas. That doesn't stop the Constantly Dramatic One from loving the holiday seasons though. There's just something in the air. So with that thought in mind I present to you the Constantly Dramatic One's wish list. Notice I did not specify which gift list...could easily double up as...*cough* birthday list *cough*. Ahem.

Things I would like to find under my non-existing Christmas tree:

Miss Dior Platform Pump
Doesn't' this just remind you of those heels Barbie used to wear from back in the day when we still play with dolls?

"Rock the Boat" dress that I have been wanting for over a year now. A WHOLE YEAR. From alight.com.

The 10th Kingdom miniseries

Boston Legal (Season 1-3)

The Great American Pin-Up

• Threading Hair Removal Training Kit


• And a full body massage either from Circle Art of Massage or Jentayu Spa.

So...hint hint....