This is a hiatus, but not one by choice

This would be my last post for a looong time. As things are all pretty fucked up, the next time I will get a net connection is pretty uncertain. Therefore, I honestly do not know when I will blog next. It could be a week from now, maybe 2 weeks, maybe a month or more then that. I make no promises cause just like half of the population of the world, the Constantly Dramatic One is yet another victim of circumstances.

So here's the deal, save yourself from checking this page everyday by

1) Adding me on your Google Reader or whatever other websites that tracks website RSS feed. Life would be so much easier then clicking everyday.

2) I have never ask anyone to follow me on that Google Follower thing cause I think its like a popularity contest. And I don't like that shit. I have never been the most popular kid in school nor do I have any inclinations to be one. I rather tell people to fuck off to their faces then give a fuck about what people think of me. However since this blogging this is somewhat precious to me, I am asking you to follow me so that you'll know when next I will update. When I do, feel free to unfollow and I will delete the widget off my page. But while I'm gone, it will be there.

3) My flight is at 9am on Sunday. So if you email me now, just provide me with your email...I can put your email in my blogger subscription list. But that's only if you email me before like 6am Sunday.

4) I am inviting my formerly good friend, Traitorous Non-Sunflower a.k.a Tinesh of STICKS (check out the sidebar under "Not Dramatic but Buddies") as an invited writer of Dramatic Musings so that he can moderate your comments. I'm damn paranoid that some friends would comment and give away specific details about me so he gonna watch out for that. Also, in the event that somehow I cannot access blogger from wherever the hell I will be...he will let you guys know of my new url.

See bitches, I am prepared.

Also before anything else, shout out to friends:

To Gypsy, Nixa and Ginny- Thank you for the gifts and for always being there for me. 

To Arwen Jinjang aka Blosshom aka Sunflower Numbero Uno, who's in Ukraine- Bish plz. The fact that I would be in Australia when we next Skype with each other makes no difference whatsoever. Stop your wayang Hindustan over there. 

To Sharin- Good luck in New Zealand babe. Ironic how you received the offer first but I'm leaving before you. I'll miss you and I will always remember "Apa the fuck?" =D

To 3kc- Already missing you babes. Hook me up with your hot Australian Navy friend one of these days and the pain of missing you will lessen. True story.

To Tinesh and Sathya- Fuck guys. I'm sorry we can't meet up one last time. Rest assured that I have develop pictures of y'all and be putting it on my wall when I do have walls over there. And send you emails of me half naked once I'm in Aussie....Kidding! Haha, taaakuuttt....

To Farid and Mell- I'm so sorry our LOTR marathon tak jadi. But hey, there's always term break. And you know when I work as a maid in Aussie...I can come over and clean your room cause I would have cleaning skillz then =p . And oh.......cchhhiiillll.....

To Lalathi and Bella- Thank you for the living-in-Aussie tips and whatnot. I truly appreciate that. I would totally lost my shit if it's not for you guys.

To Elfie- Haha! When my tits sag from my excessive weightloss, I will think of you. "True friends do not let true friends' tities sag!"

To Munkao- Totally gonna miss our pancakes moments together. And oh be true to yourself, be gay already. You know you want too......

To other friends- Goodbye guys, sorry we can't meet up. It's all my fault for putting off everything at the last possible moment. Mah bad. Feel free to kick my ass when I come back for term break or something.

The next time I'll blog, it would be from Down Under. Have fun, take care, create some drama and I'll see you....when I do. Ta bitches.

hugs, kisses and all that jazz,

the Constantly Dramatic One

Goodbye and thanks for all the...help...

It seems that all I’ve been doing in 2008 is saying goodbye. Goodbye to my sister, to friends who transferred before me, to the friends I’m leaving behind…and it’s not easy. Saying goodbye is never easy. With every goodbye your heart aches a little… a lot, depends really...but with every goodbye I’m saying goodbye to a part of me too.

As of Dec 4th, I am no longer a student of HELP University College. I was a little bit emo because of that…okay a lot. That’s why I was on hiatus. Now, I’m not saying that HELP is awesome, it is not. Seriously. They’re always fucking around with our results, the classes are all fucked now that they are expanding the campus- so much so that we don’t even have proper, designated classrooms anymore and dude- don’t get me started about the lack of cafeteria.

Nonetheless, HELP has been a huge part of my life for the last 2 years. The memories I formed within those halls, the joys I experienced, the drama I created just for the kicks, the cute guys I spied in class, the assignments I plagiarized, the gossips I heard…and perpetuates, the embarrassing moments in time….but most of all the people I met there. Those people who at first were nothing more than strangers who just happened to sit next to me in class, who tapped my shoulder asking to borrow a pen, who got thrown into a group assignment with me, who stood in front of me in line, who just happened to smile as I walked by…strangers who in time turned into friends. Strangers, who are now my good friends, people who will always have a place in my heart.

I remember the things I’ve said before starting in HELP. “Oh, I probably won’t make any friends.” “Private college kids are just rich, spoilt brats- I’m not included.” “I probably won’t get close to anyone cause they’re all backstabbing bitches.” “Bla bla bla.” What differences two years have made. How I am now forced to eat my own words….

Now that I am at the end of my 2 years stint; I will no longer have days when I wake up at 6 in the morning, groan and then yelled out how much I fucking hate HELP. I no longer will give dirty looks to the snobby old men who worked in the library. I will no longer curse the damn internet connection in college. I will no longer bitch bout the office administration. I will no longer screamed out vengeance on the lack of parking spaces in main block…or smell like the mamak after lunch. Those things are no longer part of my life. And for that, I am thankful.

There is joy in moving on and leaving. But there is sadness as well. At least I will always have the memories- the good ones and the bad ones. And when it comes down to it…when things are at end, that’s all you have right? The memories of what was once. And the friends who will always be part of you, no matter how far you go in life.

Goodbye.

Endings could be joyful too you know...

Today is my last day in college. Okay, last day for going to classes in this college. Next year I will be flying off to complete my degree in another country. My degree is like this international twinning program thingy, hence the need to fly off. Next week is my finals, and after the 4th I will be done with this college forever.





Wow.





I feel ecstatic. I feel free. I feel so fucking ossum. I'm moving on bitches, I'm moving on. I know that this high would eventually wear off and then I will become sad and nostalgic thinking of the friends I'm leaving behind. Then all I'll have of this period in my life would be the memories we created together. The in-jokes. The stupid arguments. The drama (most of time created and made possible by me). The endless stupidity. The joy and laughter. Parting is such bittersweet sorrow. But for now I am ecstatic. I am joyful.





I am experiencing the feeling of satisfaction that could only be felt when one is taking a step forward in one's life. A feeling of progression. A feeling of complete and total ossumness.





So no, no bitching post today nor any stories regarding my adventures into stupidity (and God knows how many of those I actually have). Today I am zen.





Today.....I am happy.

Parting sorrow

Right....do you guys remember my bouts of depression not too long ago? That resulted into several therapy sessions with the college therapist and late night calls to Befrienders? Yeah......So I guess it's time to come clean.

My sister is leaving the country. In fact, the continent. She's migrating to Finland this Tuesday. Her husband who's an engineer for Nokia got a job there. Head of division or something. I'm not particular sure, what I do know is that she's leaving. This Tuesday.

My whole life, I have always been close to my sis. We have a complicated relationship. Loving but competitive. I guess not that complicated. Which sisters are not competitive and bitchy towards each other but still love deeply? Our case is not unique. Nor is this whole migrating to different continent thing. But just saying so doesn't make it any easier.

I was sad since that whole depression thing but I managed to reason shit out. I got myself busy with reading and scrapbooking and my mini project of trying to become a vegetarian and cooking on my own. Also spending as much time as I can with her. Which is difficult because she's married and all. But now that there's only one day left, it's hard to deny any longer of what I have been feeling for a while now. Sad, angry, alone and scared.

All my life my sister has always been there to watch my back. I get in trouble in school and she'll sot it out for me, not my parents. I get into a road accident and she's the one that I called to handle it. I fell down and sprained my ankle and she was the one there helping me out. It has always been that way. No matter what happens to me, I know my sister is always there, watching my back. Even when she's married I know I can still count on her. But now that she's leaving, I feel that the one person who has ever watched over me is leaving. And for once in my life I feel utterly alone. Like I have nowhere to go. No one to talk to. No one to hold me and tell me it'll be okay. It's like falling down without a net. It's terrifying.

I understand that this is for the better. She's off to a better life. She'll be happy there. Starting a brand new life with her husband. She'll be happy there and I only hope what's best for her. But knowing that, knowing that it's all for the better doesn't make the separation and the leaving any easier. It doesn't one bit.

But I'm holding up better now. I did my mourning a while back and now I'm more in control. But you know what's eating me inside? The birthday thing. My birthday is Sept 21st and my sister's on the 24th. For so long as I could remember it has always been our thing to celebrate together, just the two of us on either the 22nd or 23rd. It's our thing. Our tradition. And this.....this would the first year that the tradition be broken. And it won't be the last. Every time I think about that, about things that would never be the same again I know that this is life. It's not all roses and good times.

I'll miss her. It will hurt for a long time afterwards. I will have to learn to live without a safety net but then you know...life goes on. No point in dwelling.

My favourite chink..........

Disclaimer:

The following post contains a shitload of inside jokes. Some may be offensive or/and will not make sense at all. My bad.

The first time I saw you, I thought to myself "What a pretty girl." and after finishing that sentence in my head I was overcome with envy and decided right there and then to hate you. Coz you know you're just that hot. Then I saw that bigass tattoo on your back and I though "Holy crap, she's badass. Better not mess with her" so I tried to fly under your radar. Then not enough with that I decided that somehow along the way that you are a bimbo and I stare quietly at the back of your head when you sit in front of me in class with dislike. Then one day you came and sit next to me in class.

You smiled. I stared at you. You begun talking and I was shocked that you could actually form coherent sentences. But I'm more surprise that you are not a prissy bimbo the way I had you painted in my head. I was even more surprised that somewhere during that first conversation we had that I actually like you. That I actually could roll with you and suddenly the tables were turn. I am the prissy bimbo now. Not you.

And holy crap. I do like you a lot.

But I think that the time that we really bond is in that class when we both hate on that lecturer. Make incredibly lewd jokes about the size of his ass and bitch about everything and anything under the sun. Then we took all that from inside the classroom to the mamak where we continue the bitching. Damn girl those mamak sessions with condense milk coffee is the best bitching sessions I ever had. You bitching skill amazes me. Seriously. I have never had another friend who actually can bitch as well as you. You are truly my Numbero Uno bitching buddy. And yes, that is the highest compliment I could give to anyone.

And the best part of it all is that we hate all the same bitches and bimbos in college. Oh man, I truly and awfully miss those condense milk coffee days. And condense milk is the best. Fact. Then Cheesecakeerian entered the picture and then there were three of us. We upgraded from the mamak to Chilli's: 7.30pm-12am bitching session now over steak and bottomless drinks and that bayau Spanky McDestiny.

If destiny is kind, then one day I will be able to spank his ass. Until then lets just hope that day will come...................

And now you're flying off to your homeland, Germany. Its inevitable. You are after all an exchange student but I always forgets that considering the fact that you look so chinky half the time..........=p .Ahahahahahahahaha!! You can't kick my ass for that bitch, you're already out of Malaysia by the time you read this. But nonetheless you are an exchange student. And you need to go home. And with you gone I realise that:

a) I'm losing my Numbero Uno Bitching Buddy.

b) You are my favourite chink....I mean quarter-chink in the whole wide world.

c) Ghendut - the GOLDEN HAMSTER- and I, the Constantly Dramatic One adores you.

I'll miss you Fie. I'm sorry that I cant send you off but seriously its your fault woman. Why the hell you're flying off on a 2am flight anyways? KLIA is too damn far away. What if a Pontianak follows me on my way home? You could never tell. Maybe if you ever comes back to Malaysia we can go out again. Bitch about everything and anything under the sun. Or maybe one day if I do achieve my goal of becoming Clive Owen's mistress than he can fly me to the UK then I can take the train to Germany and meet up with you during Oktoberfest where you will get shitfaced drunk and I will hold your hair as you puke.

Whatever it is Fie, I hope that you have a safe flight. And hey at least we have Facebook and blogs for us to be in touch right? That should do until I become Clive Owen's mistress. And oh yeah, any time I go to the mamak again, I'll order two condense milk coffees. One for me and one in your honour. I'm drinking it for you.....Okay not really. I just need my caffeine kick and I just wanna drink two cups of coffee but its completely cool if I use your name right?

And remember........ May, there's a little chink in everyone. More so in you. That's a joke. Coz it was funny. Now laugh.

Ha. Ha.

You look so chinky in this light May =p