Goodbye and thanks for all the...help...

It seems that all I’ve been doing in 2008 is saying goodbye. Goodbye to my sister, to friends who transferred before me, to the friends I’m leaving behind…and it’s not easy. Saying goodbye is never easy. With every goodbye your heart aches a little… a lot, depends really...but with every goodbye I’m saying goodbye to a part of me too.

As of Dec 4th, I am no longer a student of HELP University College. I was a little bit emo because of that…okay a lot. That’s why I was on hiatus. Now, I’m not saying that HELP is awesome, it is not. Seriously. They’re always fucking around with our results, the classes are all fucked now that they are expanding the campus- so much so that we don’t even have proper, designated classrooms anymore and dude- don’t get me started about the lack of cafeteria.

Nonetheless, HELP has been a huge part of my life for the last 2 years. The memories I formed within those halls, the joys I experienced, the drama I created just for the kicks, the cute guys I spied in class, the assignments I plagiarized, the gossips I heard…and perpetuates, the embarrassing moments in time….but most of all the people I met there. Those people who at first were nothing more than strangers who just happened to sit next to me in class, who tapped my shoulder asking to borrow a pen, who got thrown into a group assignment with me, who stood in front of me in line, who just happened to smile as I walked by…strangers who in time turned into friends. Strangers, who are now my good friends, people who will always have a place in my heart.

I remember the things I’ve said before starting in HELP. “Oh, I probably won’t make any friends.” “Private college kids are just rich, spoilt brats- I’m not included.” “I probably won’t get close to anyone cause they’re all backstabbing bitches.” “Bla bla bla.” What differences two years have made. How I am now forced to eat my own words….

Now that I am at the end of my 2 years stint; I will no longer have days when I wake up at 6 in the morning, groan and then yelled out how much I fucking hate HELP. I no longer will give dirty looks to the snobby old men who worked in the library. I will no longer curse the damn internet connection in college. I will no longer bitch bout the office administration. I will no longer screamed out vengeance on the lack of parking spaces in main block…or smell like the mamak after lunch. Those things are no longer part of my life. And for that, I am thankful.

There is joy in moving on and leaving. But there is sadness as well. At least I will always have the memories- the good ones and the bad ones. And when it comes down to it…when things are at end, that’s all you have right? The memories of what was once. And the friends who will always be part of you, no matter how far you go in life.

Goodbye.

Et tu, Tinesh?

You see, I have this term of endearment for my friends. Sunflower. I know it's weird as hell but sunflower is my favourite flower and when I really like someone, I call them Sunflower. As a term of endearment. Sunflowers are only given to the ones...well the ones that I really like who I think above all, are the family I chose for myself instead of the ones that have been dealt to me by the hands of fate. Not that I don't love my family, of course I do. I mean I have to put up with disturbing shit that they do and the harsh words they say and find it in my heart to love and cherish them still. No family that have been dealt to you by the hands of fate is internal, everlasting love. Where else, the family you chose for yourself are the ones borne out of camaraderie, understanding and most of all respect. And oh yeah, also good times, in-jokes and random moments of stupidity.....which always involves plans that at the moment seemed like a fucking genius plan but when executed is just fucking stupid and will collectively get everyone in trouble. Yes...these is what friendship is all about.











So anyways there's a couple of my sunflowers right here in the blogsphere. There's Gypsy who have been there all they way since the high school years. There's Cheesecakeerian and 3kc/ who goes to the same college as I do for the last 2 years. There's Elfie, who I've known for a short term but grown to be close with and then....there's Tinesh. I don't have that many close guy friends who are non-gay. Seeing that I'm a fag hag and all (as Peter have pointed out) but yup....Tinesh is a close guy friend. A sunflower. Well....he used to be.











Until I stripped him off the title.

Why?

He betrayed me!!!!! Traitor!!!









Omg, you guys remember that little annoying tit that I wanted to stab in the eye with a blunt pencil and then strip her naked, pour honey on her, tie her to a tree and then watch as red ants eat her alive as I cackle my evil laugh? Tweety? Do you remember her? Yup, that bitch.








He went out and party with her.








Traitor. Okay lah, fine....he was invited to a party that she was just so happened to be there. Okay lah. Fine I get it. And he didn't even danced with her on anything but still......Imagine my shock when I logged onto Facebook and then go "Hey Tinesh been tagged".....or "Look he went to a party"........."Looks fun.....hhhmmmm......eh.......Wait. A. Fucking. Minute........................WHAT THE FUCK? IS TWEETY THERE? AND TINESH? MY SUNFLOWER? FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY??!!!" Dude, I almost died.








You traitor!!! You are no longer a sunflower, I disown you. No, seriously. I disown you. You traitorous non-sunflower. Dude, how could you party with her? How do you even stand being in one room with her? Did you feel your IQ trickling out of your ears just being in my room with her? I mean......ewwwwww.............didn't you just felt her stupid disease just attacking your stupidity-immune system? I mean....dude, macha, formerly-a-sunflower....how do you even stand being in a room with her without wanting to smack her face until it bleeds? How?








In an event, you betrayed me. You are no longer a sunflower. In disown you. You are hereby strip of all special privileges that comes with being one of my sunflowers. Stripped!!! And the only way you can make up to me is if you get me a life-sized cut-out of Clive Owen so I could dry hump it. No, seriously. Life-sized cut-out. Dry hump. Failing that, teh tarik at Ali Maju followed by a session of groveling. Your choice. But if you bring your "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" series on Wednesday, I'll forgive you 1 day and half faster than I have planned.





But for now, it stands: You traitor!! I disown you.

A vapid and bimbotic post

Okay I know I said there's a hiatus and all that coz the words are not flowing. I wasn't messing around. I am having a somewhat writer's block. So the following post is going to be extremely vapid and bimbotic. You have been warned.


My homegirls and I are going to Penang!!!! But in May though, exactly one day after our finals. Then we all gonna board a bus that would take us on a 4 hour ride from Wilayah Persekutuan, across the Penang bridge and onto the island of Penang! I would drive us there but my parents got all iffy when I said that. They will never let go of the whole "Oooouuuu CD-bang-the-wall-while-trying-to-reverse-park incident". So we're taking a bus, we could fly but it'll be more expensive but more importantly it will cut our bitching time. Bus ride would give us ample time to bitch about everything under the sun and more.

I am super excited. We gonna rent a car when we're there and go to all these cultural/historical places. Then when its not so hot we will hit the beach and pretend we're on Baywatch. 3kc and Cheesecakeerian can work on their tans. I don't need to do seeing that I'm already brown. I just stalk hot men on the beach. My dad have high powered binoculars...would definitely borrow that for the trip. MWAHAHAHAHA!


Which bring me to another topic, we would be spending at least two days just lazing around on the beach. I need new swimsuits. I mean, I already have one but I need another one. Like hell I'm gonna repeat the same thing twice two days on a row. Which means....the Constantly Dramatic One would need to go shopping. After 3 months of not shopping. This. Is. Big.

But this is a necessity. I need to look constantly hot.... When coming out of the water. When frolicking around on the beach. When removing sand from my butt crack..... What if Clive decided to go on holiday in Penang? The chances are very slim, I'm gonna agree with you on this one, but like my high school science teacher always say: Preparation is key.


So now, the Constantly Dramatic One is on a mission. To find a swimsuit similar to the one my idol wore:

And then to have a picture of me taken in the same exact pose.



Same. Exact. Pose.



Also, with this blog post, I am declaring that when I am frolicking around on the beaches of Penang, my sunflowers must refer me as 'Marilyn'. Or I'm just gonna ignore them. I'm serious people. Its 'Marilyn' or nothing.


Delusional? Moi? Puhleaaazeeee.

And oh anybody knows good places to eat in Penang? Like really good. Like the "sungguh sedap hingga menjilat jari sampai ke siku" kinda good. Our top priority on this trip is to eat. A lot. Where's the best nasi kandar joint? Ikan bakar? Any other speciality? Oh and please only suggest halal ones, Marilyn is very fussy bout food. Uuuuhhhhhh..... I mean me, the Constantly Dramatic One, is very fussy when it comes to food.

If you're too shy to leave any suggestion in the comment box then mail me. And as token of appreciation I'll send you a pic of Ghendut, my golden hamster, posing like Marilyn. Promise.

There's a thin line between girly and fucking annoying

A lot of people have told me that I am somewhat girly. "Girlier than most, but not in the irritating-girly-kinda-thing." And I guess they are kinda right. Somewhat.

I have a penchant to have at least one pink item on me everyday. If its not my top, then its my bag. If its not the bag, then its the shoes. If its not the shoes than its the lipstick. And if you can't see any pink anywhere on me, then its a safe bet that my bra is pink that day. I call my friends "sunflowers" as a term of endearment. The girls have dealt with it, the guys still cringe coz "It's just too gay". I am not ashamed to admit that I love the Spice Girls, Britney or the Sugababes..... and I consider Linkin Park "hardcore". I love cupcakes, I think action movies are ridiculously boring, I am attached to my stuffed toys, Marilyn Monroe IS a style icon, I adore movies that make me cry, I spend waaaaaaay too much time on Polyvore.com creating fashion sets and I wish my car is pink instead of blood red.

So yes. Girly. Somewhat.

But just because I am somewhat girly that does not mean I cannot kick your ass.

So there's this chick right. She's girly. Waaaay girlier than the Constantly Dramatic One. The first time we met, she told me that she likes my outfit. It was pink. The second time, she asked me if she could braid my hair. The third time we met, she started baby talking with me.

What. The. Fuck?

This bimbo, I am gonna make an educated guess here that she is at least 18 years old to be in college and she started baby talking out of nowhere. We are involved in a project that require us to be in each other's constant company for the next 6 weeks, and this bitch started speaking baby talk. With everyone who is involved in the project. It's like she came in completely normal and then middle of this whole thing she decided that she is too cute for words that she started baby talking. Observe the vocab:

"But but, I dunno its wike that. I would reaaaaaali reaaaaali try wike better."

" I wuv you, I wuv you soooooo soooooooo much" (while hugging her own fucking shoes).

"OMG!" (not Oh My God people, as in the letters O.M.G out loud. Bitch speaks in acronym).

And every time she deliver these, she would always have her head tilt to her side, her lips pouted, made her eyes bigger and speak in a voice that she presume is cute. It is not cute. It is the most annoying piece of shit I ever had to encounter in my life. If my shoes are not as expensive as they are, I would take them off and beat the living shit out of her with it when she does that.

I am gonna assume that you are capable of speaking in coherent sentences. I am very sure of this since I have seen and heard you done it before. You are girly, I know that. You also think that you are cute. Which sadly, you are mistaken. And in attempt to be cute, you decided to speak in that retarded way of speaking to drive home the fact that you are indeed, cute.

Huney....it doesn't work. You do not come across as cute. You come across as a spoilt brat who sadly.... is retarded in the head. I am sorry for your parents. But then I am sure they are already aware of this. My condolences nonetheless.

And the whole fucked up part of this is that I will be stuck with you for the next 6 fucking weeks. And in this 6 fucking weeks, we are going to have to meet up for at least 4 times a week. And in that 4 times a week, at least a two hour session each. That's 8 hours of listening to you talking your retarded language and trying to be cute. That's 8 hours of trying not to roll my eyes at you. That's 8 hours of talking to myself out of pulling your lips as you pout them. That's 8 hours of feigning friendliness your way because I want to maintain a good relationship - for the good of the project. 6 fucking weeks. I dunno how I am gonna achieve this when you are making it so fucking difficult.

Now maybe somewhere along the way, someone have told you that when you tilt your head to the side, pout your lips and speak all baby-ish, this would make your cute. This someone could have been your boyfriend. I'm sure that its not annoying when you do your baby talk with him. He might have dug it. But then let's take into account that he also has a penis and he probably was sticking it in you the whole time. He has benefits of listening to you speaking like you are retarded in the head. He was getting some.

Newsflash bitch: I do not have a penis.

I gain no benefits whatsoever from you deperately trying to be "cute" and "adorable". You on the other hand do gain something. You gain my pure, unadulterated loathing, a blog post dedicated to your bimbotic pursuits and the topic of interest to my sunflowers when I describe in detail how much I want to inflict bodily harm on you over lunch.

And when I do meet up with you next - and I will be doing a lot of that in this coming 6 weeks - you better not say anything along the lines "OMG! I made a boo boo".

Because huney, I will end you.

And I'll make it look like an accident.