Sunday, January 13, 2008

"The government would never lie to us."



The Constantly Dramatic One just came back from watching the midnight show of Alien VS Predator Requiem. And the verdict?



Blaaaaah........



Of course, don't take my word for it. Bear in mind musicals is more my cup of tea and given between an insanely boring/horrendous/stupid movie and an action movie, you can bet your ass that I would pick anything but the action movie. But as it is, Saturday nights are usually family movie night. That's right. We still go out to watch movies as a family.



We been doing it since about 12 years ago and we still doing it now. It used to be fun but now more like a chore but it keeps Mom and Dad happy so there you go. Over the years we are missing one son in our Saturday movie nights and now with my sister impending wedding....well let's just say that Mom and Dad is trying to cram in as many Saturdays as they can before there's only three of us left to 'enjoy' our Saturday ritual. Its kinda sad. But life goes on.



So anyways, Dad watch nothing else but action movies. Give him something with a little thinking to do, a little intellectual conversations or even a plot line and he will bitch about it. All the way. All through the movie. His type of movies is where there guns and explosions and tanks and people killing each other and the most crucial of all: the movie MUST NOT have any plots whatsoever and yes he would dig it.
He calls it action movies. I call it mind numbing boredom.



So there I was in the movie. And I was vaguely aware there's some slimy Aliens going at it with some thing called the Predator. They fight. Predator bleeds neon green blood. Aliens still slimy. Some chick gets half naked by the pool for the obligatory body shot of any given Hollywood movie that targets male aged 12-36.




Note to directors and producers:


To actually have a tits and ass scene, the female in question must actually HAVE tits and ass.





Anyways, guns shooting. People running. Some kid got killed. Battle scene in the rain. Some chick in the audience screamed. Some teenage boys shouted approval. Dad watches in awe. The Constantly Dramatic One yawns. When the fuck is this movie gonna end?




Then came the obligatory argument scene between the survivors. The Sheriff wants to go to the centre of the town where some Sargent promised him that there will a chopper coming to evict the survivors. Conman-childhood-best-friend says its a ruse, and we must all brave through the Alien infested town's hospital to the emergency helicopter and "get the hell out of here!!". Then one lady who's on the Sheriff's side said what possibly be the best line uttered in the whole history of film making:




"The government would never lie to us."

.......................................................................................................................................









AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA!!!!


Oh my gawd!!! That shit is awesome!!! It beats everything. No famous quote from any other movie would get to top this. Not "One Ring to Rule them all". Not "Buckle up. Its going to be a bumpy ride." Not "I make him an offer he can't refuse". Not "Look Ma. I'm on top of the world!" Nope. None of that. "The government would never lie to us" is OFFICIALLY the best movie quote that would ever grace the history of film making. Its so awesome that I think I would have it on my tombstone.







Here lies the Constantly Dramatic One

Sept 21st 198* -

"The government would never lie to her."





Shit, that was brilliant. I had never had a better laugh in my entire life. I just checked out IMDB and the script for the movie was written by one Shane Salerno.


Shane Salerno , the Constantly Dramatic One bows down and stare in wonder at your sense of irony.










P/S:




A cookie to anyone that could named the title of the movies with the famous quotes in them. And be specific.


12 comments:

Prince Gomolvilas said...

I just followed your link to the screenwriter. Um...when did studios start hiring 13-year-olds?

Tinesh said...

One ring to rule them all: LOTR, you know this cuza Legolas innit hehe..

I'll make him an offer he cant refuse: The Godfather la..Rmb in patricia's hse I was strokin the toy dog n saying it??

Bumpy ride: All about eve..havent heard of this one.I looked it up hehe

Top of the world: White heat..Looked this one up 2

Dan-yel said...

"The government would never lie to us"?

Oh C-O-M-E O-N! That's so propagandic.

One more thing though. it's obvious that Hollywood is incorporating national pride. I remember watching the latest installment to National Treasures where they portray the President as a faultless character.

Anyway, couldn't blame them either, they're proud of their country and the way it's run. Bless them.

payalsays said...

hey hun !
just found your blog ;P
you;re a funny one aren't you (no sarcasm intended, honest !)
you should watch american gangster thats a great movie !

payal

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

"One ring..." of course from from the Lord of the Rings

"Buckle up..." Ms Betty Davis as Margo in All About Eve

"I'm gonna make him an offer ..." Marlon Brando in the Godfather part 1

"Look ma..." James Cagney in The Public Enemy

You didn't know the lady was a film buff in addition to all of her other wonderful qualities, did you?

I'll take a Snickerdoodle please.
;)

MoonShadow said...

they lied!!

Maverick SM said...

I don't watch movies (not absolute).

Can you tell me then?

I like the Quote: The Govt Never Lied to US?

Ya!!! Lies are truth!!!

zewt said...

hahahahaha.... u sure have something against the govt eh?

constant_drama said...

Prince:

Apprently since they started the whole AVP franchise. The script is ridiculous but it did made me laugh from the absurdity.

Tinesh:

Awwww!! You cheated!

Dan-yel:

I KNOW!! That's why I love it. Its such a piece of bullcrap delivered in such conviction. Soooo absurd!

Beautiful in its stupidity.

Payal:

Hey glad you found my blog! And I'm glad you enjoyed it. A tip though, never mention my name here coz I'm paranoid like that.

And hey, I cant see your blog... =(

constant_drama said...

Lady:

And we have a WINNERRRR!!! WOOOOOT! Yes, your cookie is on the way.

Word.

Moonshadow:

No shit.

Mave:

Na ah, find them out yourself ;-p

Zewt:

Ah the great Zewt has landed on the Constantly Dramatic One's blog.

Lets just put it this way, I hate stupid people. Period. The government are run by stupid people. Period.

Connect the dots.

zewt said...

indeed... imagine us being quite the same with the boy in 6th sense... just that we always see... stupid ppl.

payalsays said...

hahah yeah i read one of your comments on your 'paranoia' ;P
thats why i didn't use your name
and you can't see my blog coz i deleted it.
see, i'm emotionally retarded (or a cold heartless bitch if you prefer) and find it hard to express myself.
when are you going overseas btw ?

payal
PS : i was just too lazy to update my blog so i deleted it :)