Wednesday, January 09, 2008

You say I'm nosy, I say spot on

Dear childhood acquaintance whom I bumped into today at our neighbourhood mall,

First of all I'm glad that you remember me, I mean after all why not?

We were both there on the first day of primary school, sharing the same class for all those years. Did we not shared our food during recess back in Standard One to Three and then promised each other to be BFF till the end of time by the library staircase? Then of course that was that fight that we had in Standard Three. I can't remember why now but I did remember making you cry. What I still do remember that in your tears you told me that you will tell your father, who happens to be a policeman and he will come to arrest me for making you cry. I remember being scared shitless and begging my mom to not let your dad jailed me.

Then of course high school came in and we both went to the same school but we didn't get to be in the same class. Your father didn't came to arrest me in all those years accumulating to high school apparently. We don't see much of each other, ran in a totally different crowd. I harnessed my bitchiness while you, I heard was on the top 5 teacher's pet list.

I'm happy to hear that you have chosen banking and finance as a career. I'm also happy that you finally straightened your hair and now it no longer looks like a beehive. Also you upgraded your glasses and you look...corporate. A far cry from the nerdy curly haired girl with over sized glasses that I used to know.

I appreciate you're saying that I'm still as funny as I was and still just as loud. I also appreciate you hugging me tight and telling me that you want to see me again to "catch up". I appreciate you're saying that you like what I did with my hair. Thanks, I was channelling Victoria Beckham. Fringed bob cuts was all the rage back in late 2007 you know.

What I don't appreciate is that you exclaiming loudly on how my breast size has differ since high school. I'm quite sure that the security guard standing by really do not need to know bout the evolution of my cup size. But the question begging to be answered here, why the hell were you paying attention to my, ahem, chest back in high school when we barely talked?

Come to think of were hanging with her back in day. She of course being one the notorious dyke-y girls from our school. She who did sent my best friend -one of the prettiest girls in school- a bouquet of candy canes during Valentine's Day. Come to think of it now, you two were awfully close.....

Am I missing something here?

Perhaps I will call you up to "catch up" one of these days. See what's up with you. I'll buy you a cup of coffee. Think of it as a token of appreciation for not having your dad arrest my ass all those years ago. You on the other hand will let me know everything that has happened in your life. Every single thing.

Starting with her.


Elisabeth said...

Yikes! I wouldn't know how to react if someone said that to me!!

Great post!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

ok not sure if i should be over-dramatic but can't you see it already? she's a fucking lesbo!

Valerie said...

Ooooh, weird! My mom saw a girl she went to high school a couple months ago, and she asked for my mom's number. Now, when that chick gets drunk, she leaves creepy messages on my mom's voicemail. "Come to think of it," my mom said, "she was kind of lesbian-ish in high school."

To quote the infamous Seinfeld, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." :)

elfiejane said...

what did you do to make her cry! haha

and oh maybe she has the hots for your boobies.

constant_drama said...


I was like "ummm, ummmm....ahhh...ohkaaayyyy...." It was stupid ok?

And thanks!


Now now Kerpie, dont be jumping to conclusions now. I still have yet to do some investigations....

constant_drama said...


How weird is that?! Ok lets just hope thaT I wont be getting some drunken late night calls now, shall we?


I honestly can't rmrb, I was 9. still cant rmbr. Oh!! Yeah, maybe she like my booobies.

Ayam ish shcared.