There's a thin line between girly and fucking annoying

A lot of people have told me that I am somewhat girly. "Girlier than most, but not in the irritating-girly-kinda-thing." And I guess they are kinda right. Somewhat.

I have a penchant to have at least one pink item on me everyday. If its not my top, then its my bag. If its not the bag, then its the shoes. If its not the shoes than its the lipstick. And if you can't see any pink anywhere on me, then its a safe bet that my bra is pink that day. I call my friends "sunflowers" as a term of endearment. The girls have dealt with it, the guys still cringe coz "It's just too gay". I am not ashamed to admit that I love the Spice Girls, Britney or the Sugababes..... and I consider Linkin Park "hardcore". I love cupcakes, I think action movies are ridiculously boring, I am attached to my stuffed toys, Marilyn Monroe IS a style icon, I adore movies that make me cry, I spend waaaaaaay too much time on Polyvore.com creating fashion sets and I wish my car is pink instead of blood red.

So yes. Girly. Somewhat.

But just because I am somewhat girly that does not mean I cannot kick your ass.

So there's this chick right. She's girly. Waaaay girlier than the Constantly Dramatic One. The first time we met, she told me that she likes my outfit. It was pink. The second time, she asked me if she could braid my hair. The third time we met, she started baby talking with me.

What. The. Fuck?

This bimbo, I am gonna make an educated guess here that she is at least 18 years old to be in college and she started baby talking out of nowhere. We are involved in a project that require us to be in each other's constant company for the next 6 weeks, and this bitch started speaking baby talk. With everyone who is involved in the project. It's like she came in completely normal and then middle of this whole thing she decided that she is too cute for words that she started baby talking. Observe the vocab:

"But but, I dunno its wike that. I would reaaaaaali reaaaaali try wike better."

" I wuv you, I wuv you soooooo soooooooo much" (while hugging her own fucking shoes).

"OMG!" (not Oh My God people, as in the letters O.M.G out loud. Bitch speaks in acronym).

And every time she deliver these, she would always have her head tilt to her side, her lips pouted, made her eyes bigger and speak in a voice that she presume is cute. It is not cute. It is the most annoying piece of shit I ever had to encounter in my life. If my shoes are not as expensive as they are, I would take them off and beat the living shit out of her with it when she does that.

I am gonna assume that you are capable of speaking in coherent sentences. I am very sure of this since I have seen and heard you done it before. You are girly, I know that. You also think that you are cute. Which sadly, you are mistaken. And in attempt to be cute, you decided to speak in that retarded way of speaking to drive home the fact that you are indeed, cute.

Huney....it doesn't work. You do not come across as cute. You come across as a spoilt brat who sadly.... is retarded in the head. I am sorry for your parents. But then I am sure they are already aware of this. My condolences nonetheless.

And the whole fucked up part of this is that I will be stuck with you for the next 6 fucking weeks. And in this 6 fucking weeks, we are going to have to meet up for at least 4 times a week. And in that 4 times a week, at least a two hour session each. That's 8 hours of listening to you talking your retarded language and trying to be cute. That's 8 hours of trying not to roll my eyes at you. That's 8 hours of talking to myself out of pulling your lips as you pout them. That's 8 hours of feigning friendliness your way because I want to maintain a good relationship - for the good of the project. 6 fucking weeks. I dunno how I am gonna achieve this when you are making it so fucking difficult.

Now maybe somewhere along the way, someone have told you that when you tilt your head to the side, pout your lips and speak all baby-ish, this would make your cute. This someone could have been your boyfriend. I'm sure that its not annoying when you do your baby talk with him. He might have dug it. But then let's take into account that he also has a penis and he probably was sticking it in you the whole time. He has benefits of listening to you speaking like you are retarded in the head. He was getting some.

Newsflash bitch: I do not have a penis.

I gain no benefits whatsoever from you deperately trying to be "cute" and "adorable". You on the other hand do gain something. You gain my pure, unadulterated loathing, a blog post dedicated to your bimbotic pursuits and the topic of interest to my sunflowers when I describe in detail how much I want to inflict bodily harm on you over lunch.

And when I do meet up with you next - and I will be doing a lot of that in this coming 6 weeks - you better not say anything along the lines "OMG! I made a boo boo".

Because huney, I will end you.

And I'll make it look like an accident.