Time management. I haz it.

So what you guys do over the weekend? Me? Oh dude, I did some crazy shit. Let me break it down for you.

 

 

As you guys might have known; I have moved out of my previous place away from the crazy fucker that I used to live with. Yes, yes I am aware that I have not blogged about the fuckery that went on there that led to my departure. Reason is I can’t. Not cause I cannot…but because I get really pissed off whenever I tell the story. My loathing for him will never end even till my final breath. Worthless piece of shit. I now live in an off-campus student accommodation. Incidentally I now have 2 Malaysian girls as housemates. One is 25, postgrad student and this is her last sem in uni. Graduating beginning of next year. I am so jealous. The other one is a total stoner. Her room reeks of chronic. I could get high just walking past her door. But other then that, they are awesome. Postgrad likes to cook. A lot. I have only cooked twice ever since I moved in here in June. Woman print stuff off the net and cook everything. Stoner, other then being stoned half the time, have single handedly provided ample drama for me in this house. Woman have an equally stoner boyfriend with a temper. You can hear them fight almost every night cause they throw things around and then there will be silence cause they would be making out while smoking some of that shit and then later….well later you’ll hear her screams again. But different kind of screams…..If you get what I’m sayin. It’s always the same routine.

 

 

Fight. Smoke. Fuck.

I’ve gotten used to it.

 

 

So it was last Friday night and we decided that we’ll have a Scary Movie marathon in the living room. Scary Movie as in the stupid Scary Movies franchise with the stupid boob jokes and disgusting toilet scenes, not actual scary movies, mind you. By the time we finished watching the whole thing it was about 3 in the morning so I went to sleep and woke up at 7am cause I have a Career seminar at 8am Saturday morning. Fucking thing was 8 hours long from 8am to 4pm. Fucker. But I went for it cause it was free and they gave tips for resume writing, cover letters, interview tips, etc. Bla bla bla. It was boring as fuck. I went alone too cause none of my friends could be bothered to wake up that early on a Saturday morning.

 

 

Did I learn anything out of it? Barely.

Was it a total waste of time? Good God yes.

Did my ass went flat after 8 hours of sitting down? Unfortunately.

 

 

Last fucking seminar I ever went to. Came home round 4.30 and I was like “Okay, I’m gonna sleep. Fuck this shit.” Around 9pm my friend called and she’s like “We’re going clubbing tonight.” And I was like “Dude, I’m tired.” And she was like “I just broke up with-the-asshole-that-was-formerly-my-boyfriend. We’re going clubbing. I need to get drunk. I need you.” What do you say to that? Fuck man. So 11pm, Saturday night, tired and hungry I stood in line outside a club in the city. Felt like shit but at least I looked awesome in a purple dress and my 4 inch heels. Got in and forgot all about how tired I was. Just as I was going to score some free drinks from random horny dudes my phone rang and it was my other friend.

 

“I’m picking you up at 9.30 at your place tomorrow ya?”

“What?”

“Tomorrow CD. We’re going to a water park remember? We made plans about a week ago?”

“Oh shit.”

“Where are you? Are you clubbing? But we made plans. You promised….”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be there.

 

 

Fuck. Completely forgotten about the waterpark. Completely. Motherfucker. And then instead of doing the prudent thing and you know…go home. I ended up dancing in my 4 inch heels till they on the lights at 4 something in the morning. Talk about fucking your own self. We stumbled outside the club and we’re like okay “We need a cab. My feet hurt. Jesus!” and then someone shouted my friend’s name and it turn out it was her friend. They talked and I stood there with the rest of the group, barefooted cause my feet hurt too much and the guy was like hey “I can give you guys a ride. There’s only 4 of you. No big.” So there I was, barefooted on the sidewalk, mascara running down my face as it started drizziling a bit and I made a new friend- with a car- at daybreak. Could have been worst. He dropped me off at my place round 5 and I stumbled out of the car, into my room, into the shower and at the first blast of the shower, I tought I was going to crumpled onto the floor. I remember thinking “OMG!! I’m gonna drown! In my own shower! The irony.” But I didn’t. Did more stumbling into bed and I thought that was it.

 

Could have been minutes really when the phone rang. And my friend on the other line was going “Are you awake? We’re on our way to your place. Be there in 15 minutes!” Woman sounded too damn cheerful for a damn Sunday morning. I rolled out of bed, fell onto the floor- hurt like a mofo- and got dressed. Of course I could not find my swimsuit. Of course. When I need to hurry that’s when all kinds of shit go missing. But found it I did, wore it and put on a cover up and then just started throwing shit into my bag. Towel. Sunblock. Shampoo. DVD. Eh wait the fuck do I need a DVD? Honestly do not know. The next time my phone rang I was already out of front door.

 

 

Most intense Sunday morning I ever had. But I made it. I made it yo. That alone was a feat on its own. There was fucking kids everywhere at the water park. I wanted to kick them all. Fucking kids. I hate kids. At least it turn out to be fun that day. I think I might have like lost 4 kilos as well. You try climbing 8 flights of stairs carrying a big ass tube. Those things look light but they’re not bitches. They’re not. The whole day was full of standing in line, climbing flight of stairs and then hurling myself down huge ass slides and then screaming my ass off. A bit of tips ladies: When going to a water park DO NOT, under any circumstance wear a halter neck bikini top/swimsuit cause your boob will pop out coming down the slides. That’s all I have to say on that. That’s all. Fuck y’all if I’m going to say anything more on that.

We left the water park when it closes at 5pm and would you know it. I forgot to bring a change of clothes. Fabulous. So I had to wear the semi-wet cover up and instead of going home straight away, my friends just have to go for dinner. So we went and we chatted and the next thing I know it was 10ish at night. My entire body ached. I was so exhausted I wanted to die. Got home round 11pm and I didn’t even showered the second time. Got into bed still wearing my swimsuit and my hair drenched with chlorine. I never understand the saying “Tired to my bones”. After that weekend, I do. Oh good God, I do.

 

 

The on Monday…..on Monday I went to court.

 

 

Chill. It was for my Media Law class. Case study for a paper regarding defamation and libel in journalism. Fucking court case was at 8am. I had to wake up at 5ish cause I have to take 2 buses to court. What a bitch. I would love to talk more bout the case but I am not at liberty to divulge the information pertaining the case. Some ethical fuckery. What do I care. I just need the stuff for my paper. And that was the end of my crazy ass weekend.

 

 

And no, I dunno how I did it either. All I know is that my body still aches, my feet still hurts and I’m going clubbing again tomorrow night. This is indeed, the party phase of my life.

So...yeah.....awkward....

You know what is ridiculously awkward?


Hot is when you went out for a night of partying with your friends and saw a really hot guy….and then ended up having eye sex with him the whole night.


Ironic is that despite having steamy eye sex with him all night long….nothing actually happened.


Ridiculously awkward is that about a week later, when you are looking like absolute shit because:

a) You woke up at 6am to go to the morning market…
b) Did not shower or even wash your face cause the market will close soon and you really want that 50cent packet of carrot…..
c) Wearing an oversized shirt that has a giant Minnie Mouse on it…which is in fact what you have slept in the night before, with a pair of 3 quarter jeans….
d) And c’mon, seriously! Who looks good going to the morning market?


….when you bumped into him.


The hot dude. Whom you had eye sex with all night long.


It’s like the figurative “morning after". But from Hell.


However, you have forgotten all about you looking like shit cause you are completely thrown by the fact that he is the dude….that is selling you your 50cent packet of carrots.


Then the realization hit you:


You had eye sex. With a dude that that sells carrots for a living. In the morning market.

Ooops!

He too recognizes you and smile. But you didn’t and pretended that you did not recognize and hurry the fuck out of there before the friends you came with to the market, who went out to party with you days before realizes this little trivia and Never. Let. You. Forget. It.


So yeah, in case you guys do not know what is ridiculously awkward- that is ridiculously awkward.

This is not a real post.

It's ironic....but the more interesting my life gets....the less I wanna blog about it.

Bodoh sial...

This is a hiatus, but not one by choice

This would be my last post for a looong time. As things are all pretty fucked up, the next time I will get a net connection is pretty uncertain. Therefore, I honestly do not know when I will blog next. It could be a week from now, maybe 2 weeks, maybe a month or more then that. I make no promises cause just like half of the population of the world, the Constantly Dramatic One is yet another victim of circumstances.

So here's the deal, save yourself from checking this page everyday by

1) Adding me on your Google Reader or whatever other websites that tracks website RSS feed. Life would be so much easier then clicking everyday.

2) I have never ask anyone to follow me on that Google Follower thing cause I think its like a popularity contest. And I don't like that shit. I have never been the most popular kid in school nor do I have any inclinations to be one. I rather tell people to fuck off to their faces then give a fuck about what people think of me. However since this blogging this is somewhat precious to me, I am asking you to follow me so that you'll know when next I will update. When I do, feel free to unfollow and I will delete the widget off my page. But while I'm gone, it will be there.

3) My flight is at 9am on Sunday. So if you email me now, just provide me with your email...I can put your email in my blogger subscription list. But that's only if you email me before like 6am Sunday.

4) I am inviting my formerly good friend, Traitorous Non-Sunflower a.k.a Tinesh of STICKS (check out the sidebar under "Not Dramatic but Buddies") as an invited writer of Dramatic Musings so that he can moderate your comments. I'm damn paranoid that some friends would comment and give away specific details about me so he gonna watch out for that. Also, in the event that somehow I cannot access blogger from wherever the hell I will be...he will let you guys know of my new url.

See bitches, I am prepared.

Also before anything else, shout out to friends:

To Gypsy, Nixa and Ginny- Thank you for the gifts and for always being there for me. 

To Arwen Jinjang aka Blosshom aka Sunflower Numbero Uno, who's in Ukraine- Bish plz. The fact that I would be in Australia when we next Skype with each other makes no difference whatsoever. Stop your wayang Hindustan over there. 

To Sharin- Good luck in New Zealand babe. Ironic how you received the offer first but I'm leaving before you. I'll miss you and I will always remember "Apa the fuck?" =D

To 3kc- Already missing you babes. Hook me up with your hot Australian Navy friend one of these days and the pain of missing you will lessen. True story.

To Tinesh and Sathya- Fuck guys. I'm sorry we can't meet up one last time. Rest assured that I have develop pictures of y'all and be putting it on my wall when I do have walls over there. And send you emails of me half naked once I'm in Aussie....Kidding! Haha, taaakuuttt....

To Farid and Mell- I'm so sorry our LOTR marathon tak jadi. But hey, there's always term break. And you know when I work as a maid in Aussie...I can come over and clean your room cause I would have cleaning skillz then =p . And oh.......cchhhiiillll.....

To Lalathi and Bella- Thank you for the living-in-Aussie tips and whatnot. I truly appreciate that. I would totally lost my shit if it's not for you guys.

To Elfie- Haha! When my tits sag from my excessive weightloss, I will think of you. "True friends do not let true friends' tities sag!"

To Munkao- Totally gonna miss our pancakes moments together. And oh be true to yourself, be gay already. You know you want too......

To other friends- Goodbye guys, sorry we can't meet up. It's all my fault for putting off everything at the last possible moment. Mah bad. Feel free to kick my ass when I come back for term break or something.

The next time I'll blog, it would be from Down Under. Have fun, take care, create some drama and I'll see you....when I do. Ta bitches.

hugs, kisses and all that jazz,

the Constantly Dramatic One

Bring on the unknown, bitch.

Not including today, I have exactly 4 days left in Malaysia.

 

People ask me how am I feeling now? Nothing much really. Any anxiety, any excitement, any emotional bullshit that I should or should not be feeling at this point in time are all overshadowed by this room fuckery. Not to say that I do not have a room, I actually have like 5 now. Found them through real estates websites. I just do not want to send in money online and commit myself. I mean, everything sounds fantastic online, people are trying to sell you shit so everything is sugar-coated, and then when you arrive at this supposedly magnificent room….the ceiling’s leaking, the bus stop is too far away and you are living an hour away from college. Or maybe even worst, it’s just a scam to get your money. Renting out a room that don’t exists to international students. Shit like this happens.

 

 

So I will be staying in a hotel a couple of days when I get there while I meet up with realtors to see where is best. If you’re thinking “Hey CD, how come you’re not crashing at your friend’s place?” That’s a simple question, its cause I have no friends there. I purposely chose a university that I do not know anyone of. I always wonder why people go overseas and study at these places where they already know people there. What’s the point? What’s the point of going far away only to be with your own kind, to be with the same people, to always, perpetually stay in your comfort zone? None really. There’s no growth.

Same shit, different time zone.

 

The reason why I can’t ask people to find a room for me is cause I don’t have anyone I know there. Even if I do, I won’t ask for help. You can only go so far in life if you always depending on the sympathy of people. Here I am with family and friends. I live comfortably, I have a car, and I always have money. There I will not know anyone, I probably will not be able to live comfortably, I will definitely not have a car and without doubt I am going to be broke. Oh I haven’t mentioned this. My dad is cutting me off after the third month.

 

Financially.

It’s his rule. He pays for the tuition bill and the rent, but he’s not gonna give any allowance after the third month. By the fourth month I’m there, I should be able to hold a job already or starve. It’s my Dad’s way of teaching his kids of the “real world”. My sister waited tables through Law School. Technically my dad paid for Law school and she only have to support herself but woman totally played the whole “Paying for law school through waitressing” thingy. My brother worked two jobs when he was in America. And now it’s my turn. My friends asked if there is a way of getting out of it, like if there’s a way I could have him still gives me money after the third month but to tell you the truth….I rather not.

 

First off, it’s unfair to my sis and bro. They both got cut off after the third month, why should I be any different? I mean my sister could work through Law school; my brother worked two jobs while studying for a double degree and still managed to graduated top of his class. I mean, fuck man. I’m not in Law school, I’m not doing double degree….if anything my circumstance is easier then them. Plus it’s an ego thing you know. I don’t want to be known as the weak one just cause I’m the youngest. Plus I don’t want to be 81 years old and have my parents tell my grandchildren on how Grandma CD was too useless to hold a job and begged Great Grandpa to give her money when she was in Australia.

Seriously bitches, till my dying days I will not hear the end of it.

My dad and his tough love methodology….But that’s the point of studying abroad. It’s like a rite’s of passage, the moment in life where you stepped out of your comfort zone and see what you made of. Here, I’m the pampered Drama Queen. There? Who knows? But that’s the thing about life. It’s all about freefalling into the unknown. And your dad cutting you off and you have to starve for days on end. And yeah…fun.

 

So how am I feeling now?

 

Contemplative. I’m contemplating life…..and where I stand in it.

A Lesson from Animal Planet

Do you know that a male snake has two penises? Two.

No shit. I’m serious. I couldn’t sleep the other day so I was up at 3 in the morning watching Animal Planet (that’s right, 3 in the morning and watching Animal Planet- I am too fucking cool for words. I am soo fucking cool, I am like the Fonz of my generation), anyways….snakes have 2 penises. I dunno bout you guys, but that totally rocked my world. Understand that my world now consist of sleeping in till midday, midnight prank calls to my nosy neighbour and writing little haikus that make no sense and emailing it to friends such as this:

My ass is really big,

I blame my mother for it,

Cause hers is big too

Okay, so that’s a really lousy haiku. But what I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t take much to rock my world these days. If you would come up to me and say “CD! I had toasts for breakfast today” I would go “No way dude!! That totally rocks my world!” …………..Anyways back to snakes and their multiple penises.

Apparently snakes have 2 penises to maximize their chance of fertilizing a female snake….Apparently if there’s a low sperm count in one penis, then they gonna use the other one. Like how do you know if that penis has a lower sperm count than the other? How? To my knowledge, snakes can’t jerk off right? They don’t have hands. What do they do? Rub both of it on a tree trunk and get off? And then count afterwards? “Sssssss thisssss ooonesss hasssss moooreeeessss sppeerrrsmms thannss the others sssss, willlsss ussseeeessss thissss neeexxxtttsss timeees I gootss lucckysss….Sssssss”? What? Is that how they know?

And what if the snake has weak swimmers? Doesn’t matter which one he uses, that female he bangin with either penis will not get pregnant now will she? I mean, think about it. You can have all the money in the world, drive all the big cars and have 2 penises and still be impotent. How sad is that? Also what the show did not address was the size issues. Would both be the same size, or one is bigger than the other? Is it possible for the female snake to choose which one? Can she like “Ooohhhsss Edwarrddo-sssss, I wantssss that onesss, that onesss on the leftttssss. Yeeessss bebeh, I is a size queeeennsssss….” Can she? 

Female snakes got it lucky if you ask me. If the male snake is anything like a lusty/horny/stupid boy on prom night, wanting to lose it, he would be jizzing in his pants even before anything starts. I bet this would totally pisses off the horny-teenage-girl-snake and she be like “Whysss you be cumming before meeee foooolsss!” and then horny-teenage-boy-snake would go “It’s ookaaays, I got another onesss” and all is well.

Just sayin.

With that said....maaaan do I need to leave the house more often or what?

Update Jan 12 2008/ 11:03pm

Dude.....do they pee from both penises too? Do they take turns OR both penises can go at it at the same time?

Update Jan 12 2008/ 11:04pm

No....seriously.

This post might or might not make sense. My bad.

Disclaimer: The following post was written while the Constantly Dramatic One was completely drugged out on flu/fever medication. It might or might not make sense to you. I wouldn’t know. It however made total and complete sense to me seeing that I was and still is, trippin all over the place.

***

I have this story on how my car acted up yesterday and that the alarm won’t stop going on and on so I had to send it to the mechanics and had to stay there for 3 hours waiting for it to get done and how like this big motherfucking rat came out of the gutters and ran right by my feet, and then I jumped and screamed like a banshee which all the dirty mechanics thought was hilarious so they laughed at me and then the chief mechanic told me to that there’s something wrong with my car’s alarm system (well no shit Sherlock, it’s been goin on and on right?) and that I have to change it. So I say changed it and that’s why I was at the mechanic’s for 3 hours amidst all the dirty cars, dusty accessories, polluted air and rat infested gutters. What the mechanic forgot to tell me was that the new alarm is like some fancy shmancy thingie where a robotic female’s voice would go “Arm” or “Disarm” as to remind you to lock the car.

So I got home at 7ish in the evening and then I parked my car and before I got the chance to lock the car, the female’s voice came on and I freaked out cause I thought there was a Pontianak hiding under the car and talking to me so I ran like a bitch and then I realized that pontianaks don’t hide under cars so maybe my car might be a transformer instead, like in the movie you know. So I went back to my car, but I did not take a peek at the undercarriage in case there was a pontinak hanging out there…then the female’s voice came on again and I thought “Cool, my car’s a female transformer. I will call her ‘Bianca’.” Belatedly, did I realise that it was just the alarm and I felt really stupid. And also my New Year’s resolution of NOT DOING STUPID SHIT has gone out of the window thanks to the Pontianak/transformers episode. 

As I walked towards my house, my nosy neighbour called me cause she saw me running away from the car and she wanna know why I did that. Nosy bitch. I can’t actually tell her that I thought my car was a transformer, can I? So I told her that I’m on this new fitness plan where you don’t workout for a long time but what you do is you suddenly sprint or jog on the spot really really fast, multiple times a day and then you can lose weight and build stamina. She looked unconvinced so I told her it’s totally the in thing now in Hollywood. It’s like the Atkins of fitness plans. Then she looked interested and told me that she wants to do it too. So I thought to myself “Great, I’m fucked now.” And now whenever I need to leave the house, I have to make sure that she’s not hanging out outside her house because apparently I have weaved my own tangled web of lies and I don’t know how to continue with it.

Then last night I got really sick, I started coughing and sneezing and I think it’s cause I was at the mechanic’s for 3 hours and that place was filthy. When I look at the tissue I realise that there is blood when I blow my nose and I got really scared cause now I think I’m gonna die. Like, seriously, blood on the tissue. I’m scared cause I know I’m going to Hell cause I barely pray and curse like a drunk sailor therefore in conclusion God hates me and will send me to Hell. So I took some flu pills and decided that if I’m drowsy enough from all the pills maybe I could die peacefully in my sleep. As I was drifting off I realise that I don’t want to die without letting people know that I love them. So I called my sister and told her that I am going to die cause there’s blood when I blow my nose and I have fever but before I go, I want her to know that I love her. But she didn’t hear all that cause she was at the market place buying fish and I thought how ironic that I’m going to die in my sleep, with blood coming out of my nose and Clive would never get the chance to fall madly in love with me and the one person whose supposed to be in contact with me before I leave this realm of mortality can’t even hear my parting words cause she wanna buy a damn fish.

So I said again “I’m going to die.” Then she asked “Oh, what colour?” And then I said  “Die not dye” and she said “Okay. What colour?” Then I gave up and tell her that I love her and then she said “I love you too, but make sure you don’t dye blond ya? Blond sucks with our skin colour.” And I dunno how that tip would be helpful in Hell but okay, I take whatever I can get. Then before I hung up she asked me

“Have it arrived yet?”

“What have arrived?”

“The bag?”

“What bag?”

“The Gucci bag.”

“Huh?”

“I got you a Gucci bag, from the Christmas sale here. It was like 50% off and it’s like last season’s but it is a Gucci and it’s pink and really cute and you would really like it. It’s totally you.”

“Wow.”

“Okay let me know when you get it ya? I love you babe. I have to go now.”

I’m still coughing, sneezing blood and feverish but I think it would really suck to die now cause apparently I have a last-season-50%-off-Gucci-bag on the way to me. I’m gonna put off death for a while till I get the bag and then only could I die happy.

Also, I love Ghendut.

Happy Christmas!

'Twas a night before Christmas and I don't feel like writing much. However I found this quite a while ago through my tumblr I've bolded the things that I have done and I'm turning this into a tag bitches.

Things to do before Kicking the Bucket

1. Write the story of your life
2. Watch every James Bond film
3. Sing along in a music store


I was at Tower Records with Munkao and Backstreet's Back came on the sound system. I was like "OMG!! BSB! Childhood flash back!" then I got excited so I started singing along with it. Loudly. Then I realised that I still kinda remember the dance move from the video- I mean c'mon let's face it....if you grew up in the 90s the way I did you would know that the video to that song is the Shit. So I started doing random dance moves that I remember of. Right there, in public, in Tower Records Mid Valley...with people watching. Dude...the look on Munkao's face was priceless.


I think he said something along the lines of "If you're not a girl, I punch you in the face maaaan." Then practically dragged me out of the store. This happened last year by the way, in case you were wondering. So not only did I sang out loud in a record store, I danced too bitches.


4. Build a snow cave
5. Get in the record books
6. Turn your mobile phone off for a week



In all technicality this only happen cause my phone was spoilt so I send it to be fix.


7. Run in fancy dress for charity
8. Blow a month’s wages on shoes
9. Paint a self-portrait
10. Bury a time capsule
11. Leave behind a million dollars
12. Learn to play a song
13. Plant a tree and carve your name
14. Go on holiday with no luggage
15. Have a night at the opera
16. Learn a different language
17. Play an elaborate practical joke
18. Host a cocktail party
19. Spend Christmas Day helping out
20. Meditate for 3 hours in one setting
21. Spend a week at sea
22. Get re-married in Vegas
23. Skinny dip at midnight
24. Have a suit hand made


Since I'm a girl I think it's fair to take "suit" as dress and by that, I did have one hand made. Okies?


25. Spend the night in a haunted house
26. Make fire the old-fashioned way
27. Swing through the air on a trapeze
28. Horse-ride through the surf
29. Read a book a fortnight a year
30. Make your own pasta
31. Swim with something big
32. Sleep outdoors watching the stars


Remember Starlight Cinema? My best friend and I went for the Lord of the Rings Marathon. It started at 8pm Saturday and it finished round 9am-ish Sunday. I forgot the exact date. But it was in a field, picnic style. We watched the extended version of all 3 movies but sometimes during Two Towers we fell asleep on the picnic blanket under the stars. We were lucky it did not rain but it was such a great experience. And a total girly bonding moment between my best friend and I.


33. Create an online alter-ego


Who the hell do you think the Constantly Dramatic One is?


34. Cook something you’ve grown
35. Resign by all-staff email
36. Go out shopping in just a Drizabone
37. Catch a fish and eat it that day
38. Brew your own beer
39. Learn to throw a boomerang
40. Ride a giant rollercoaster
41. Surf and snowboard in one day
42. Build a tree house
43. Take pole-dancing lessons
44. Pash a policeman on New Year’s Eve
45. Do a Roar & Snore at the zoo
46. Give a homeless person your lunch
47. View a house you can’t afford
48. Hire a house boat
49. Go trekking, carrying all your gear
50. Build something that will outlast you
51. Research your family tree
52. Go to a bedding store in your PJs
53. Cut your own hair
54. Get involved in a protest rally
55. Make a crowd sign for the cricket
56. Leave a love note on a windscreen
57. Build a giant sandcastle
58. Blow a kiss to a bikie


Not a bikie per say. But a cute guy in a Honda Jazz during a traffic jam.

59. Wear fancy dress for a whole day
60. Spend an hour in a lift
61. Get your fortune told
62. Make a baby laugh
63. Make a snowman
64. Make love on the beach
65. Help out at a soup kitchen
66. Send flowers for no reason at all
67. Watch the sun rise
68. Watch the sun set
69. Make a cake for the teachers
70. Take the day off on your birthday
71. Spend Christmas Day in Lapland
72. Make a heap of autumn leaves
73. Walk through knee-deep mud
74. Tell your Mum you love her
75. Have a night at the ballet
76. Take evening classes with a friend
77. Take tap-dancing lessons
78. Write a letter to your grandchildren
79. Smile at 100 strangers
80. Read the plays of Shakespeare
81. Do a first-aid course
82. Keep a diary for a whole year


Actually I did for 5 years. Aged 13-17. I no longer do but I still have all 5 of them.

83. Google yourself
84. Visit your parents in a limo

85. Live off the land for a week
86. Listen to your iPod right through
87. Fast for 48 hours

When I was 15, I had some sort of eating disorder issue. Bullimic basically. I went through 3...4 days without food then binging on the 5th day and then throwing it up. 48 hours with no food or water? No big. Just ask anyone who has an eating disorder. I'm sooo glad that I am in a much better place in my life now.

88. Skip with your kids along the beach
89. Take a vow of silence
90. Finish a crossword or sudoku
91. Give blood

Done it 3 times this year. Done it 11 times all together. It's just blood. No need to be stingy.

92. Write to your favourite author

Not just one author mind you. 3 of them through snail mail. True story.

93. Walk a marathon
94. Contact your childhood sweetheart
95. Give an emo a big sloppy kiss
96. Pretend to be invisible
97. Buy some outrageous sunnies
98. Wind up a security guard

One day, I shall blog about this one particular episode...

99. Send a message in a bottle
100. Make a kite and fly it

101. Test-drive a car you can’t afford

Out of a 101, I have only done 26. Wow, thank God I'm only in my early twenties man. If I'm 45 and have only done 26 of these, I'll be really depressed. Like seriously.

If you read this blog, considered your ass tagged. The following video is a gift from me to you, especially to those kids who were born in the 80s but grew up in the 90s. This one is for you.

Happy Christmas everyone!