No prudes beyond this point

I stole this tag from Cheryl of Confessions of a Twenty Something Year Old. Cause I'm a tag stealer. That's right, a stealer. I supposed I could use the term "tag thief" but I kinda have issues with the word "thief" per'se...I mean what the hell is a thief, really? A person who bakes is a baker, a person who teaches is a teacher and a person who steals is a thief? How does that makes sense? I am opposed to that and from now on I will always use the term "stealer" cause it makes more sense.

So according to the tag that I've stolen, I'm suppose to post the 4th picture of the 4th folder from my Pictures document and here it is.

I personally think its artistic. Yes, it's sexual however it is not overtly so. They are both clothed and nothing is revealed but there's the anticipation...the excitement of foreplay. I like how there's an empty frame hanging on the wall. I think it's a symbolism that these two are not in a relationship but are two random, consenting adults giving into carnal desire. I also like the anonymity. Their faces are hidden making it easier for the viewer to give in to the fantasy. Random strangers, foreplay in a somewhat public place.....sexy.

Or maybe it's just a picture of a guy fingering a girl up against a wall and its pretty hot. All I know is that I'm so glad that the tag didn't ask for the 5th pic. Cause I can't even play the artistic card with that one. And bish plz, get off your high horse and stop pretending like you don't have shit like this on your computer too.

If your name/handle/nickname ends with "S", consider your ass tagged. And oh if you're scandalized by this post; feel free to call me names and predict my eternal damnation by hellfire in the comment box. I don't mind. I like the drama.

Firemen and zombies...Oh my!

For the last 3 days I have been obsessively going through youTube searching for.........me. First I searched for "Since You've Been Gone" and then I realised....how the hell would white-Honda Jazz-fuckface knows that I was rocking out to that song? I mean, does that fucker have supersonic hearing or something?



So I searched for "traffic jam singing" and have go through like a shitload of videos of people who videotaped themselves singing in cars during traffic jams. I felt somehow better watching these videos because clearly, I am not the only idiot who throw "concerts" during traffic jams. Then I went on to be more specific, throwing in words like "Malaysian traffic jam", "crazy girl in car", "fat crazy girl in car", "stupid idiot in car singing" and then when all else fail I typed in "ossum singing girl traffic jam".........and lo and behold...... I found nothing!



This is bullshit.


This is when my brother buzzed me over MSN.......




"Adik tau tak ada movie zombie baru?"
*Do you know there's a new zombie movie out?




"Meh, apsal lak Adik nak tengok citer zombie?"
*Meh, why would I want to watch a zombie movie now?




"Bukan hari tu adik hantar link calendar zombie kat Abang ke?"
*Did you not sent me zombie calendar link the other day?




"Excuse me, I sent you that cause they are Pinups Zombies. Not just any zombies."





"What's the difference?"





"Pinup zombies maksud nyer lagi cantik lah. Pinup zombies! Pinup zombies....Am I getting through to you?"
*It means that since they are zombie pinups...therefore they are prettier than your average zombies.




"Abang rasa gambar pinup yang ko suka sangat tu nampak macam sluts jer."
*I think those pinup girls that you like so much look like sluts.




"..........................................Why are you intentionally hurting me?"





"Cause I can. You're too easy. Never a challenge to pissed you off when we were kids."





"Adik tak nak chat ngan Abang lagi. Nak merajuk. Goodbye."
*I don't wanna chat with you anymore. I want to sulk. Goodbye.




"Poyoh!!! Tengok link ni! Best! Tajuk dia "Quarantine"."
*Big baby! Check out this link. It's the best! It's called "Quarantine".




"Fine, I'll humour you. But this is just because we are related by blood. Not because I harbor any affections for you. I want you to know that so that you won't be confused or anything."

"When did my little sister got to be so bitchy? Oh wait, I know. The day you were born right?"

My brother is a he-bitch but that's a given cause I think bitchiness is like a family trait or something. I watched his stupid link anyways. The supposedly "best" zombie movie ever. Looks like crap until the 0:51 mark.

Holy Mother of God!!!!! Is that a fireman at 0:51? Wait, wait....there are several firemen. Dude.....this movie just been elevated from "crap" to "OSSUM" in my book. So then I abandoned my brother on MSN and went in search of more "Quarantine" related videos and I found more trailers. With more firemen in it !!!!!! This one especially.

Firemen!!!! Everywhere. Okay fine, I noticed there are zombies too. But fuck it! Firemen! OMG!!!! I'm soooo horny excited now I cannot even think straight. Here's a synopsis of the movie:

"Television reporter Angela Vidal and her cameraman are assigned to spend the night shift with a Los Angeles Fire Station..........."

What comes after "Los Angeles Fire Station" in that synopsis is really not important. I don't really give a fuck. But if there's "Fire Station" involved that means it would involve a lot of men running around in those orange uniforms.....with the hats right? Holy crap!!!!!!!!!! This is like...........a dream come true. Minus the zombies of course. Wait wait.......apparently this movie is a remake of a successful Spanish thriller, with the same format and all...............................................you guys know what this means right?

Spanish firemen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!! Where can I get the original version of this movie? No seriously bitches. Anyone knows? C'mon! Spanish firemen!!!!!!! If those two words combined did not give you an orgasm, then you my friend, is a robot. Or a straight man. In which case, I apologize profusely for this post. And to show how sincerely sorry I am, here is the Spanish trailer. With Spanish firemen. Mwahahahahha!!!

Now, I'm off for a quick icy cold shower. *wink wink nudge nudge*

I iz stalking jooooooooo

So I'm kinda been.....stalking a guy. Okay. Shit. That comes out wrong. Let me rephrase. I am stalking a guy's blog. A hot guy's blog. Smokin hot. I kinda been doing it since like...uuhh......last year. But before this post enter a brand new realm of fucked up creepiness, let me explain.

He is a firefighter.

Ahhhhh, it makes sense now, doesn't it? He is a smokin hot firefighter. Now how I stumbled upon his blog is pretty much a typical story of the blogsphere. I was bloghopping, reading comments when I noticed one of the display pictures were of a firefighter's hat. Now my fetish respect for the firefighter's hat is well documented on this blog, as long time readers would know. Dude, all you have to do is put a firefighter's hat on your display pic and I will Google your name up and then try to Google Earth your house. Basically stalk the crap out of you. It is as simple as that.

So don't tempt me.






The thing about his blog is...it's kinda....well blah. Dude can't write for shit. Actually I think he's a himbo. But what he lacks in writing he make do in pictures. His pictures. And his friends. In uniform............................OhmyGod, it is so hot that I cannot even think straight. It's like p0rn, but much better. Cause there's no naked chicks that are hotter than me but just firefighters in uniforms. Sometimes he put up pictures of him and his friends, in full uniform on the firetruck. When he does that, I usually just shut off the PC and then proceed to take a looooong, cold, icy shower.




See, I told you this post is going to be creepy as hell.






But lately he haven't been updating. This is common because sometimes he gets busy rescuing kitties out of tress that he doesn't blog. But then when I went to check out his blog the last time it was missing!! Motherfucker. Really it was. Just gone. Poof! Like no goodbyes. No "I'll be moving to Wordpress cause Blogspot sucks donkey balls". Nothing. Just gone.





This is pissing me off. First of all, yes I have been stalking him without him knowing but I am long time reader, bitch. I deserve to know if he is going to terminate his blog. At least that way I can line up another firefighter to stalk. Of course, I wont expect him to write "Dear crazy stalker chick from Malaysia, I know you're stalking my tight ass. Because of that I feel morally violated and will no longer put up pictures of my tight ass on firetrucks so that you can have you long, cold, icy showers afterwards. And I'm taking my hat with me. xoxo Super-hot-firefighter-with-tight-ass." Of course I am not expecting that but a nice little farewell note would be much appreciated.


Fucker.


So now it has been 3 weeks since his blog disappeared from the wonderful world of blogshphere. I have come to terms with it. I have mourn the loss of seeing his firefighter hotness on a weekly basis. I am ready to move on therefore I am scouring the net for other blogs belonging to hot firefighters. You guys know any? I need my fix.

No, seriously.

My list of possible lesbian lovers....

otherwise could be titled: If-ever-there-comes-a-time-when-I-am-no-longer-lusting-for-Clive Owen-and-have-no-desire-to-become-his-kept-woman-or-to-sire-his-illegitimate-children...I-would-totally-become-a-lesbian-and-do-these-chicks.

Also for all those of you who got a stick stuck up your asses, no I'm not a lesbian. Even if I am it's none of your problem and I'm speaking specifically to those individuals of excessive homophobia and overzealous religious beliefs. But as it is, this whole list is a joke. If you can't take a joke than I suggest you take that stick stuck up your asses and your dignified selves elsewhere. No one making you stay and read my blog at gun point now, are they?





So now I present to you the top ten women that the Constantly Dramatic One would totally go lesbo with. Durn durn duuuuuurrrrnnnn!



Number 10: Mariah Carey

I know a lot of you guys are going...."Dude, Mariah Carey? WTF?".

I know....I know. She is skanky and trashy. But you know, I think she's a hot kinda skanky and trashy. I put her down on my list of "Lesbian One Night Stand" cause no way in hell I wanna get into a domestic partnership with this woman. Bitch is crazy.




Number 9: Lucy Lui







Lucy has this really quiet kinda sexiness. She would not jump off the page as someone who is really sexy or in fact beautiful. But when she speaks and move, you just cannot take her eyes of her. It's the quiet confidence thing. I always think that out of the 3 Charlie's Angels- Cameron Diaz is the cute one, Drew Barrymore is the charming one and Lucy Liu is the slinky, uber sexy one.


Also if you have ever seen "Payback", you know that that part with Lucy in the dominatrix getup is pretty much hard to forget.

Number 8: Marlene Dietrich

Ahhhh Marlene, I know she's dead but her sensuality lives on for centuries to come. She exudes an aura of insatiable mystery every time she's on the screen. Maybe its the German accent, maybe its those famous legs of hers, or how the smoke from her cigarette always framed her face, or maybe because she was always so beautifully lighted in every movie she have ever been in therefore presented at her best like a fine work of art.....*le sigh*

Number 7: Amanda Bynes

Okay Amanda isn't exactly your typical babe. But she is funny ,talented and pretty. She seems to be working hard and keeping her personal life out of the spotlight....unlike some people *cough* Lindsay Lohan *cough*.




If I really am a lesbian, I'll ask her to marry me (same sex marriage is a go in California people) and then together we'll go to the sperm bank to get artificially inseminated and rear a beautiful family together. The kids can call her Mom and me Mama so that they won't be confused with having two mothers and all.






Number 6: Gabrielle Union


Have you watched "Bad Boys 2"? What about "Bring It On"? If you haven't than I suggest you do cause when you do, you'll know why she's on the list.





Number 5: Tina Fey


Intelligence is sexy and Tina Fey has loads of that.

Talented, funny, smart, pretty - Ms.Fey is the whole package. She seems like the type that would like to debate you on everything. Politics, philosophy, what's for dinner tonight- everything.


Which is good cause the relationship is always intellectually stimulated but then I guess most of the time I would need to tell her to shut the hell up and put on the strap-on.


Ahem.


Also those glasses are hot.


Number 4: Marilyn Monroe





Seriously. You guys have got to see this coming.





Number 3: Gong Li

This woman have just recently entered my list. I think she looked gorgeous in "Memoirs of a Geisha", if not a little bit of a psychopath. But still gorgeous. I really don't get why Zhang Ziyi was cast as the most beautiful geisha when it's clear that Gong Li look so much better than her.


Either way, Gong Li goes on my "Lesbian One Night Stand" list. She's hot but I bet she's scary as hell.






Number 2: Barbara Mori





Anyone familiar with those trashy Mexican telenovelas would know who Barbara Mori is. "Rubi" anyone? I think she is the most beautiful woman on Planet Earth. Screw Miss Universe, Barbara Mori is the real deal. I know that dress she's wearing is fug but it's one of the few pictures that she's actually covered up. This woman cannot keep her clothes on.



I loved her in "Rubi". She was just simply magnificent playing the title character. Such a manipulative, crazy, greedy, deceitful, evil bitch. So delicious in her evil doings. Also one of the highlights of the show is when she screams "Pokeno mi amore?!! Pokeno?!!!" And I'll be at home going "Si bastardo!! Pokeno?!!! Pokeno?!!"

Number 1: Cate Blanchett



I know........unexpected.


But Cate has a certain ethereal beauty to her. She wasn't cast as Galadriel for nothing. She's a chameleon, always delivering her best in her movie roles and managed to look stunning on the red carpet. She's intelligent, she's mysterious, she's pure class. And that's why she's my number one pick of lesbian lover.


One day...I might just abandon Clive for her....
Might: Key operative word there.


I am tagging Natalija with this. I know she'll love it.

The list goes on.......

So it continues....

Number 5.

Gene Kelly


Yes, I know that he's dead. And no the Constantly Dramatic One isn't a necrophiliac. But dude was hot back in the day. If you are an avid classic musical fan, you would definitely at some point totally have the hots for either a) Fred Astaire or b) Gene Kelly. Fred was all about elegance and grace in his dance where else Gene on the other hand...well Gene was known for his innovative, athletic style of dancing. Which translates into: "Holy mother of god! That move he did was hot! Rewind. Pause. Still. Still.....Aahhhhh".

One of Gene most famous quote was "If Fred Astaire is the Cary Grant of dance, I'm the Marlon Brandon." Indeed he was right.

Age: 84 at the time of death.

Ass status: When he was young and alive, super tight. Man was a dancer people.

Number 4.

P. Ramlee

Another dead dude. Yes yes......I know. Messed up.

The thing with P.Ramlee was that he was and will always be legendary in the Malaysian film industry. During his lifetime he directed, written and starred in as many as about 40 films that till day are being enjoyed and admired by the masses. No works of any other Malaysian filmmaker can achieve the greatness that P.Ramlee had.

So maybe as an aspiring filmmaker, its not the man that I am attracted to. But the legacy that he left behind. His admirable body of works and the fact that till this P.Ramlee's name is spoken with admiration and fondness. Also you gotta admit, dude looked pretty fine in Nujum Pak Belalang (1959).

Age: 44 at the time of death.

Ass status: I don't really care to tell you the truth.

Number 3.

Charlie Cox

Ahhhhhh Charlie. I already had my eyes sat on him in Casanova but Stardust truly seal the deal. People, I totally watched Stardust 4 times. Once on my flight to Chicago and then 3 times in a row on my flight from Chicago back to Malaysia. It took a whole lot of self control not to just screamed "I love you Charlie!!!" and then dry hum the seat in front of me, where the screen was. Seriously.

Its his smile that gets me. Every time he smiles, I die a little inside.

Age: 26

Ass status: Its okay. I can deal.

Number 2.

Michael Fassbender

First saw him on the ill-fated British supernatural show; Hex. Fell deeply in lust. There's no one better to play the smokin hot, uber sexy demon Azazeal than Michael himself. Than of course when I spotted him in 300 running around in a loincloth alongside Gerard Butler....and that was it.

I had to watch 300, three times coz the first time I couldn't pay attention due to the hotness radiating from the screen, the second for the actual so-called plot and the third coz you know....300 men. Running around in loincloths. He played Stelios and this is his famous scene from the movie:



Age: 31

Ass status: Yummy.

Numbero Uno.

Yes. I know. You guys seen this miles away. Who didn't? Ahhhhh Clive Owen. Supreme Hotness, Smooth Operator, All-around Badass. The Constantly Dramatic One wants to do you. Desperately.



I would rip that suit off him. Seriously.

Maybe its the baritone voice. Maybe its the chin. Maybe its the fact that he is one of those men that doesn't have an ounce of feminine side. A bonafide caveman. A supremely hot caveman. Remember that scene in Closer, when he was talking dirty to Julia Roberts? Yeah, I dare you to find a hotter scene than that in any given mainstream movie. Clive Owen, too hot for words.




Age: 42
Ass Status: Pretty damn tight.

So there you go. That's my long awaited list. I'm tagging:

Peter

3kc

Natalija (No link coz her blog is by invitation only.)

Aini

A (partial) list of hot men as according to the Constantly Dramatic One...

I have been tagged by Gypsy, who y'all should know by now is the Constantly Dramatic One's bestfriend all the way from the schooling years. And woman have to tag me with what I am declaring as the most DIFFICULT tag imaginable in the history of the blogsphere. Seriously. I'm supposed to list down the 10 hottest men as according to me. Its kinda tough when I have like 50 dudes all over the place.....Took me ages to come down with the top ten.

It was painful having to leave some out. Gut wrenching, heart breaking....... but it has too be done to honour the tag. Also I honestly have nothing else to do...actually I have to clean my room but fuck that shit. So I present to you:

A (partial) list of hot men as according to the Constantly Dramatic One!!

Number 10.

Iker Casillas of Real Madrid.

The first time I saw super hottie Iker Casillas was on the massive screen in the stadium. The year was 2002 and my family and I was in Suwon, South Korea - Fifa World Cup 2002 bitches. Ireland VS Spain game of which Spain totally pwned Ireland in the knockout stage.

Have you heard of the saying "Football is a beautiful game"? Yeah....looking at Iker I completely understand why they say that.

Age: 27
Ass status: Super tight. I mean c'mon, he is an athlete.
Super Hot YouTube video: *click*

Number 9.

Sean Bean

Ahhhhh....... Sean Bean. You might not be familiar with this British badass coz he isn't all that famous. Mostly plays the second fiddle to the leading man or the sophisticated villain. Last seen with Nicholas Cage in National Treasure. And oh yeah, he was also Boromir in Lord of the Rings. He was the star of his own TV series, Sharpe (1993-2006) in which he struts around in a period military uniform and makes all the panties drop.

For me....its not really the face, its more like the voice. Dude have the manliest voice I have ever heard. I have a couple of his movies on DVD and I just let it play to hear his voice. Sexiest voice evvveeeeeeerrr. I could burst a blood vessel just listening to his voice.

Age: 50 (Kinda creepy coz he's uuhh....as old as my mom.....I think I should seek psychiatrist help one of these days....)

Ass status: Not tight but he's old so.......

Super hot youTube video:*click*

Number 8.

Keegan Micheal Key

Basically a new discovery. I have been obsessively watching MADtv videos on youTube which also explains the lack of updates. Keegan Michael Key is one of the funniest and talented cast member of the current MADtv cast and he always cracks me up. A man with a sense of humour is indeed a sexy man.

Age: 36
Ass status: Its okay......
Super hot youTube video: None, but there are some really funny ones. And my favourite is this one where he is pretending to be a fake African. Its hilarious. Check it out!

Number 7.

Juanes

First and foremost Juanes is a musician, a very talented musician. His uber hotness comes from his unmistakable passion for music. You can feel that passion in every song that he sings. And I say that from a view point of someone who speaks no word of Spanish. When you don't understand the language, you enjoy the beats, the flow but most of all what attracts me to any kind of music is the passion conveyed by the singer. And Juanes have truckloads of that.


Passionate, talented and I did mention he's a rock star right?

Age: 35
Ass status: Very niiiiiceeeee....

Super hot youTube video: A whole lot but this is the link to my favourite song of his; A Dios Le Pido

Number 6.

Ralph Fiennes

Most people pronounces his name as well, "Ral-ph Fien-nes" but in actually you pronounce it as "Rafe Fine" and indeed he is ffffiiiiiinnnneeeeee. Suave and sensual are the words to describe Mr.Fiiiinnnee. And oh yeah, that's also that little thing about him. You know that little thing of looking smoking hot in a uniforms. Schindler's List anyone?


I want to lock him up in my closet and make him my play thing.

Now you know.



Age: 45
Ass status: Dunno. Too fixated with his eyes.
Super hot youTube video: *click*

And we're done with the first part. Stay tuned with the second part and yes Clive Owen is in there somewhere. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

To be continued............

8 Random things regarding the Constantly Dramatic One

I have been tagged by both Cheesecakerian and 3kc. Awesome, I never been tagged before...which is kinda sad. But anyways I am supposed to list down 8 random things about myself. So here goes:

1) I cannot function without coffee. I can't.I go through at least 3 cups of coffee everyday. I am not a coffee elitist, I do not just drink the ones from Starbucks only, I drink the 70 cent ones from Mamak too. I do not discriminate when it comes to coffee. I have a dream. One day I would be rich enough to travel the world and sample coffee from every corner of the world.

2) I find men in uniform incredibly, incredibly sexy. Especially firefighters. Military comes next. Every time, anything war related or fire was mentioned on the news, the first thing that crossed my mind is "That's hawt." Recently in the news they mentioned that Turkey is going into war or something and all I could think off is how sexy the soldiers going to look in their uniforms..I'm ashamed of myself. People are dying and that's all I could think off.

By the way, this dude is a Turkish soldier with the Turkish Air Force. I went for hot air balloon ride conducted by the Turkish Air Force when I went to Turkey last year. This guy...smokin hot. He got an ass made of granite. I could tell...*drool*

3) I am obsessed with Benefit cosmetics.

4) For some reason or another Black & White movies make me feel all nostalgic. Which is strange because I am too young to experienced The Hollywood Golden Era but yet I yearn for it. Movies these days...they are not like the ones they make back in the day...

5) When I was a kid I was bullied a lot. And it wasn't until I was 9 that I had a proper friend. Back then I used to cry into my stuffed toys and cling on to my books because they are the only friends I have. The only ones that do not call me by horrid names. Now things are better and no one bullies me anymore. But I still sleep with stuffed toys and treat my books really well. It hurts me if anyone do anything harmful to them because before the world accepted me, stuffed toys and books were my only friends.

6) I have roadrage.

7) I own 41 designer perfumes and 27 pairs of shoes. I am working diligently in increasing those numbers.

8) I cry for stupid ridiculous stuff. I cry for Hallmark commercials. Chinese New Year commercials. Raya commercials. Christmas specials. I'm so fucking sappy, I could slap myself.

I am tagging Elfie, Sticks, Gypsy, Lalat, Son Son, Ninja Walrus and whoever else that wanna do this. Go crazy.

Of hypocrisies and TV...

Question:

If a guy compliments you on your selection of footwear does that mean that he wanna have sex with you?

As in: "Love your shoes, very sexy. Lets get it on?"

If anyone have the answer to this question, hit me up.

******************************

I had a conversation with a guy the other day. Nothing earth shattering. Nothing worth mentioning. He wasn't hot, wasn't bad looking. Unfortunately he wasn't all that interesting either. I need a certain level of intellectualism from the opposite sex to keep me interested and he wasn't displaying the level that I require. Hey everybody has a check list, Intellect for me rank waaaay Up There.

So today I was watching TV, as part of my ongoing eternal campaign of procrastinating from doing whatever shit that I'm supposed to do. As I was flipping through the channel I saw something that looked familiar to me. I saw that guy. Of whom I have spoken to. On TV. WTF?

Albeit that it was on sports channel and I was aware that he was saying something about sports but it was pretty...'insert-proper-adjective-here' to know that he is on TV. And he didn't mentioned that to me that his work actually involving him being on TV.......now that I know he is on TV, his level of HOTness just skyrocketed. Does this makes me shallow and superficial and hypocritical seeing that I say I value intellect intensely?

Of course. To all 3.

Do I care? Not really.

As far as I'm concerned, being on TV is a huge turn on to anyone....now where did I put his number?