Yeah baby....multiple times

I know I said I’m on a hiatus but I just need to share this with you guys:

 

I watched Duplicity last night. Waaaaaaaaahhh, first movie I watched in the cinema here and it got Clive Owen walking around wrapped in a towel. And shirtless. And you know….in a towel.

 

It was so hot, I got a headache just watching that movie. He is so sexy, I cannot tahan!! Okay on the minus side of it he was sexing up Julia Roberts like nobody’s business but I like her and when I watch the sexy scene…..it’s just like something I’ve imagined in my head over and over again. Only he’s doing all that to me. Me bitches, me. Not Julia. Go away bitch, you got a husband and twins. Stop messing around with my man.

 

 

I want to tell you the movie is good. I want too. But I can’t. Cause I couldn’t pay attention. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure what was goin on. Seriously. He was so hot, I cannot even think straight. I was just sitting there, absorbing the beauty and the hotness that came hand in hand in the form of Clive when my friend had to whisper to me

 

 

“If you don’t shut your mouth now, I would need to staple it shut. I swear to God CD.”

 

 

So in conclusion, Clive is a hot mofo. I want to do him. Why won’t he do me? Cause I would totally let him do me.

 

 Multiple times.

 

So very punk rock...but was it worth it?

I was watching some lameass True Hollywood Story on E! when my mom, oh so nonchalantly, mentioned that she and my dad would be going to a wedding this weekend. I can’t help but groaned as loudly as I can. I hate being forced to attend weddings.

“Siapa lak nak kahwin ni? Adik kena ikut ke? Malas lah mak….”
Who is getting married? Must I go? I’m soooo lazy to go….

“Hakim*, anak Kak Ina*.”
Hakim*, Kak Ina’s son.

“………………………..Bukan Hakim baru SPM ke hari tu?”
…………………………Didn’t Hakim sat for SPM this year?

“Uh huh”

“Mak. Kalau dia SPM tahun ni…bukan budak tu 17 ke?”
Mom, if he sat for SPM this year…wouldn’t that makes him 17?

“Uh huh.”

“Maaaaak!! Mak serious ke ni? Jangan main-main Mak. Adik dah macam nak pengsan dah ni. Giler ah. Budak tu 17 kan?”
Moooom! Are you serious? Don’t toy with me. I feel like I’m gonna faint now. This is crazy! The kid is 17!

“Eh, buat apa lak Mak nak tipu kau?”
Why would I want to lie to you?

Dude, how fucking insane is that? As scandalous and glamorous Keanu Reeves life was according to E!, it is nothing compared to finding out that your 17 year old nephew is getting married okay. Wait, his mom is my cousin…so that makes him my nephew right? Or is that second cousin? Whatevs. In any event it is still fucking insane. I followed my mom around the house for like half a day before she told me the story. However I feel like she is not telling me the whole thing, she just gave me the condense version. As if I’m a child whose innocence still needs to be protected. Oh God Mom, the age of innocence for me has ceased to exist a loooong time ago. Anyways, this is the story I managed to coax out of her:

So apparently my 17 year old nephew has a girlfriend. Apparently, they were also horny as fuck. Being horny as fuck and also stupid as fuck- in my opinion; they decided to uhhh….consummated their “love” in her bedroom. So apparently, the girl’s father caught them and held him at the point of a parang saying that if he doesn’t marry her, he’s gonna report it as rape. So that’s why they’re having a shotgun wedding (nikah bidan terjun) this weekend.

Dude, I told you it’s the condensed version. I kept on asking my mom for details. I was like “Uuhhh so were they like…uh doing it when the father walked in?” When the father threatened him with a parang, was he naked and running around the house?” “Was she naked?” “Was the Dad naked?” I mean seriously, I need details here to draw out the visual re-enactments in my head okay. But my Mom was all offended by the questions. I mean I have this image in my head, I can describe it to you but I rather write it out like a bad script from a trashy telenovela…






Guy: Mi amore! How I have yearned for your kisses, your caress, your luuuuurrvve….
Girl: Oh si si, I too have thirst for you. My luuurve, my moon and stars. Your flesh on mine. Your luuuurve in me.
Guy: Such sweet words my luurve. You are like a vision in a dream. A Goddess among mortals. I’m sooo damn horny I cannot even walk straight right now.
Girl: I cannot tahan anymore. I’m soo horny, I’m slurring my words. I am sooo drunk for your love. Now mi amore!! NOW!!”

***Please use your imagination for this part. I know you can. Pervs.***

Guy: Was that as good for you as it was for me? *lights a cigarette*
Girl: Better baby, better…I dunno why we waited for so long. Let’s go for another round…
Guy: Si mi amore, si………wait! What’s that? Do I hear footsteps…….”


***Bedroom door flew opens***


Father: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!!!
Guy: Oh crap.
Father: YOU!!! SCUM OF EARTH!! SPAWN OF SATAN!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUGTHER?
Guy:…..Uh well…she did things to me too you know….
Father: SILENCE!!! *grabbed a parang that just so happens to be lying around in the doorway* YOU SHALL PAY FOR DEFILING MY DAUGHTER! DIE FIEND!!!
Girl: No Papa!! I love him!
Father: SILENCE WENCH! *backhands daughter* I SHALL DEAL WITH YOU ONCE I’M DONE CUTTING OFF HIS PENIS WITH MY SHINY PARANG.
Guy: Oh noes! Not my penis!

***Boy tries to run away but his feet got caught up in the sheet***
***Father caught him by the hair and held his parang up to Boy’s neck***

Father: YOUR LIFE FOR HER VIRTUE
Guy: Dude…..a tad melodramatic aren’t we?
Father: YOU DARE MOCK ME? DO YOU WANT ME TO CUT OFF YOUR PENIS?
Guy: Anything! Anything but my penis. It has only been properly used once…
Father: FINE I WON’T CUT IT OFF. BUT YOU SHALL MARRY HER OR I WILL CUT YOUR PENIS OFF AND TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU RAPE HER. MWAHAHAHA!

***lightning and thunder outside***



…..Okay…so maybe it did not went like that. Maybe they were in the throes of passion when the father walked in. Maybe she was screaming “Yes Daddy! YES!” and then the father walked in going “Yes to what Princess?.....SWEET BABY JESUS!! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!!!” Or maybe…you know what…..I should stop telling you people of all the scenarios in my head. Every one of them sounds like a bad porno shot in someone’ basement.


But really, how fucking stupid are these kids? Yes, yes…I understand that you have raging teenage hormones. Yes, yes you’re horny. Yes, yes the desire to...copulate is unbearable. Yes, I understand. I understand how it feels like to be perpetually horny but yet sexually repressed due to the boundaries set by religion and culture. Yes. I know. Trust me. No one knows it better then I do. Just take my word for it. But really guys, I understand how punk rock it is to….fornicate in her room but the risk is not worth it now is it? I mean, if you guys are so hard up- save some money, I bet there are some cheapass motels by the roadside. The backseat of a car. An abandon shack. Under the pier. On the beach…though I won’t recommend that cause I have it on good authority that the vagina itches like hell when mixed with sand. I mean, kalau desperate sangat, semak belakang rumah tu pun ok gak kan?


Stupid fuckers. Literally.


Now, in no way am I condoning underage sex but man, married at 17? They’re nothing more than kids man. I’m older then that and I’m still a kid. Seriously, they’re both waiting to be accepted to the universities of their choice. What happens then? When they go, they gonna meet other people. Oh God, sooo messy. And if they’re stupid enough to get caught by her own father no less, I bet they’re too stupid to think of birth control as well. So…a baby within a year….Parents at the age of 18. My head is reeling from this.

Man, I feel sad for that kid. A stupid mistake. One lousy mistake but one that he have to carry for the rest of his life. I hope for his sake, the sex was spectacular cause marriage at 17, before you life even get the chance to begin properly is just not worth it.

Firemen and zombies...Oh my!

For the last 3 days I have been obsessively going through youTube searching for.........me. First I searched for "Since You've Been Gone" and then I realised....how the hell would white-Honda Jazz-fuckface knows that I was rocking out to that song? I mean, does that fucker have supersonic hearing or something?



So I searched for "traffic jam singing" and have go through like a shitload of videos of people who videotaped themselves singing in cars during traffic jams. I felt somehow better watching these videos because clearly, I am not the only idiot who throw "concerts" during traffic jams. Then I went on to be more specific, throwing in words like "Malaysian traffic jam", "crazy girl in car", "fat crazy girl in car", "stupid idiot in car singing" and then when all else fail I typed in "ossum singing girl traffic jam".........and lo and behold...... I found nothing!



This is bullshit.


This is when my brother buzzed me over MSN.......




"Adik tau tak ada movie zombie baru?"
*Do you know there's a new zombie movie out?




"Meh, apsal lak Adik nak tengok citer zombie?"
*Meh, why would I want to watch a zombie movie now?




"Bukan hari tu adik hantar link calendar zombie kat Abang ke?"
*Did you not sent me zombie calendar link the other day?




"Excuse me, I sent you that cause they are Pinups Zombies. Not just any zombies."





"What's the difference?"





"Pinup zombies maksud nyer lagi cantik lah. Pinup zombies! Pinup zombies....Am I getting through to you?"
*It means that since they are zombie pinups...therefore they are prettier than your average zombies.




"Abang rasa gambar pinup yang ko suka sangat tu nampak macam sluts jer."
*I think those pinup girls that you like so much look like sluts.




"..........................................Why are you intentionally hurting me?"





"Cause I can. You're too easy. Never a challenge to pissed you off when we were kids."





"Adik tak nak chat ngan Abang lagi. Nak merajuk. Goodbye."
*I don't wanna chat with you anymore. I want to sulk. Goodbye.




"Poyoh!!! Tengok link ni! Best! Tajuk dia "Quarantine"."
*Big baby! Check out this link. It's the best! It's called "Quarantine".




"Fine, I'll humour you. But this is just because we are related by blood. Not because I harbor any affections for you. I want you to know that so that you won't be confused or anything."

"When did my little sister got to be so bitchy? Oh wait, I know. The day you were born right?"

My brother is a he-bitch but that's a given cause I think bitchiness is like a family trait or something. I watched his stupid link anyways. The supposedly "best" zombie movie ever. Looks like crap until the 0:51 mark.

Holy Mother of God!!!!! Is that a fireman at 0:51? Wait, wait....there are several firemen. Dude.....this movie just been elevated from "crap" to "OSSUM" in my book. So then I abandoned my brother on MSN and went in search of more "Quarantine" related videos and I found more trailers. With more firemen in it !!!!!! This one especially.

Firemen!!!! Everywhere. Okay fine, I noticed there are zombies too. But fuck it! Firemen! OMG!!!! I'm soooo horny excited now I cannot even think straight. Here's a synopsis of the movie:

"Television reporter Angela Vidal and her cameraman are assigned to spend the night shift with a Los Angeles Fire Station..........."

What comes after "Los Angeles Fire Station" in that synopsis is really not important. I don't really give a fuck. But if there's "Fire Station" involved that means it would involve a lot of men running around in those orange uniforms.....with the hats right? Holy crap!!!!!!!!!! This is like...........a dream come true. Minus the zombies of course. Wait wait.......apparently this movie is a remake of a successful Spanish thriller, with the same format and all...............................................you guys know what this means right?

Spanish firemen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!! Where can I get the original version of this movie? No seriously bitches. Anyone knows? C'mon! Spanish firemen!!!!!!! If those two words combined did not give you an orgasm, then you my friend, is a robot. Or a straight man. In which case, I apologize profusely for this post. And to show how sincerely sorry I am, here is the Spanish trailer. With Spanish firemen. Mwahahahahha!!!

Now, I'm off for a quick icy cold shower. *wink wink nudge nudge*

I iz stalking jooooooooo

So I'm kinda been.....stalking a guy. Okay. Shit. That comes out wrong. Let me rephrase. I am stalking a guy's blog. A hot guy's blog. Smokin hot. I kinda been doing it since like...uuhh......last year. But before this post enter a brand new realm of fucked up creepiness, let me explain.

He is a firefighter.

Ahhhhh, it makes sense now, doesn't it? He is a smokin hot firefighter. Now how I stumbled upon his blog is pretty much a typical story of the blogsphere. I was bloghopping, reading comments when I noticed one of the display pictures were of a firefighter's hat. Now my fetish respect for the firefighter's hat is well documented on this blog, as long time readers would know. Dude, all you have to do is put a firefighter's hat on your display pic and I will Google your name up and then try to Google Earth your house. Basically stalk the crap out of you. It is as simple as that.

So don't tempt me.






The thing about his blog is...it's kinda....well blah. Dude can't write for shit. Actually I think he's a himbo. But what he lacks in writing he make do in pictures. His pictures. And his friends. In uniform............................OhmyGod, it is so hot that I cannot even think straight. It's like p0rn, but much better. Cause there's no naked chicks that are hotter than me but just firefighters in uniforms. Sometimes he put up pictures of him and his friends, in full uniform on the firetruck. When he does that, I usually just shut off the PC and then proceed to take a looooong, cold, icy shower.




See, I told you this post is going to be creepy as hell.






But lately he haven't been updating. This is common because sometimes he gets busy rescuing kitties out of tress that he doesn't blog. But then when I went to check out his blog the last time it was missing!! Motherfucker. Really it was. Just gone. Poof! Like no goodbyes. No "I'll be moving to Wordpress cause Blogspot sucks donkey balls". Nothing. Just gone.





This is pissing me off. First of all, yes I have been stalking him without him knowing but I am long time reader, bitch. I deserve to know if he is going to terminate his blog. At least that way I can line up another firefighter to stalk. Of course, I wont expect him to write "Dear crazy stalker chick from Malaysia, I know you're stalking my tight ass. Because of that I feel morally violated and will no longer put up pictures of my tight ass on firetrucks so that you can have you long, cold, icy showers afterwards. And I'm taking my hat with me. xoxo Super-hot-firefighter-with-tight-ass." Of course I am not expecting that but a nice little farewell note would be much appreciated.


Fucker.


So now it has been 3 weeks since his blog disappeared from the wonderful world of blogshphere. I have come to terms with it. I have mourn the loss of seeing his firefighter hotness on a weekly basis. I am ready to move on therefore I am scouring the net for other blogs belonging to hot firefighters. You guys know any? I need my fix.

No, seriously.

Come here, pussy cat

You know what, Katy Perry's song 'I Kissed a Girl' is releasing the gay in me. We're talking full fledge gay here. Screw this bisexual thing I got goin on. I wanna be gayer than George Michael during a pride parade.

Now I just need to find me a gay girl to go gay with...

Any takers?



Update August 5th 2008


Seeing that there is a deafening, uncomfortable silence from the girls (via the comment box)....I think I'll make a list of possible lesbian lovers for me in my next post. Just to push it even more and make everyone squirm. Mwahahahahhaah!!

I'm such an evil bitch.

Priorities. I haz dem.

If any of you have been following this blog for a while, you would notice that I only blog on 3 days of the week: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Don't ask me why those days, it just seems like a good idea. Of course you would also notice that I missed a post yesterday and I have perfectly good reason for that:

Clive Owen.

See, awesome reason. No one can dispute that....But let me take it from the top.


I do not know those good people who are working in HBO Asia, but whoever they are; I hope one day I would get to cross paths with them and tell them how awesome they are. How everyday for the rest of my life I will always think of them in my prayers, how one day 1000 cupcakes with the words "Thank You" on it, in strawberry icing (no less) would appear on their doorsteps magically, how I only wish the best for them and their families. Yes, people-working-in-HBO Asia: The Constantly Dramatic One hearts you.

On Tuesday night, those people who work in HBO Asia has graciously played two Clive Owen movies back to back.

Back to back. Inside Man and then Children of Men.

Ohmygawd.

Shit's better than pr0n man.

Much, much better. I thought I was coming down with a fever. Turned the AC on, but that didn't help one bit. Nope, not at all....


Let's talk about Children of Men. See in that movie, they want us to believe that its the year 2027 and the world have become this incredibly horrible place. Women can no longer give birth and the world's population is dying because well, there's no more children. But really, casting Clive in it kinda completely defeats the whole purpose of the movie. It makes no sense. How could the world be horrible and desolated when Clive's there looking ruggedly and supremely hot. And how could women NOT get pregnant when Clive's around? I mean, that shit makes no sense. Its like saying gravity doesn't exists.

This bitch is sooo lucky that she has a baby or I would have layeth the smacketh down on her sorry ass.

And who says the world is horrible just cause there are no children in it. Seriously? Stop creating drama when there is none. Who the hell wrote the script for this movie anyways? I mean.......I don't want to be the bitch who says it but y'all know my view on children. And plus this also means that I can have kinky monkey sex with Clive without protection and I won't get pregnant?.........Huhu sign me up bitches! Sounds like a good time to me. *wink wink nudge nudge*


Of course the whole Clive Owen movie marathon ended round 3am on Thursday. I would have blogged then.....but I forgotten cause I was busy finishing a whole box of chocolate by myself and then still need to have a cold shower cause the chocolates didn't work... already sleepy.


So I'm sorry that I abandon you guys for Clive, but c'mon....girl gotta have her priorities. Riiiiittttteeeeeee..........

The list goes on.......

So it continues....

Number 5.

Gene Kelly


Yes, I know that he's dead. And no the Constantly Dramatic One isn't a necrophiliac. But dude was hot back in the day. If you are an avid classic musical fan, you would definitely at some point totally have the hots for either a) Fred Astaire or b) Gene Kelly. Fred was all about elegance and grace in his dance where else Gene on the other hand...well Gene was known for his innovative, athletic style of dancing. Which translates into: "Holy mother of god! That move he did was hot! Rewind. Pause. Still. Still.....Aahhhhh".

One of Gene most famous quote was "If Fred Astaire is the Cary Grant of dance, I'm the Marlon Brandon." Indeed he was right.

Age: 84 at the time of death.

Ass status: When he was young and alive, super tight. Man was a dancer people.

Number 4.

P. Ramlee

Another dead dude. Yes yes......I know. Messed up.

The thing with P.Ramlee was that he was and will always be legendary in the Malaysian film industry. During his lifetime he directed, written and starred in as many as about 40 films that till day are being enjoyed and admired by the masses. No works of any other Malaysian filmmaker can achieve the greatness that P.Ramlee had.

So maybe as an aspiring filmmaker, its not the man that I am attracted to. But the legacy that he left behind. His admirable body of works and the fact that till this P.Ramlee's name is spoken with admiration and fondness. Also you gotta admit, dude looked pretty fine in Nujum Pak Belalang (1959).

Age: 44 at the time of death.

Ass status: I don't really care to tell you the truth.

Number 3.

Charlie Cox

Ahhhhhh Charlie. I already had my eyes sat on him in Casanova but Stardust truly seal the deal. People, I totally watched Stardust 4 times. Once on my flight to Chicago and then 3 times in a row on my flight from Chicago back to Malaysia. It took a whole lot of self control not to just screamed "I love you Charlie!!!" and then dry hum the seat in front of me, where the screen was. Seriously.

Its his smile that gets me. Every time he smiles, I die a little inside.

Age: 26

Ass status: Its okay. I can deal.

Number 2.

Michael Fassbender

First saw him on the ill-fated British supernatural show; Hex. Fell deeply in lust. There's no one better to play the smokin hot, uber sexy demon Azazeal than Michael himself. Than of course when I spotted him in 300 running around in a loincloth alongside Gerard Butler....and that was it.

I had to watch 300, three times coz the first time I couldn't pay attention due to the hotness radiating from the screen, the second for the actual so-called plot and the third coz you know....300 men. Running around in loincloths. He played Stelios and this is his famous scene from the movie:



Age: 31

Ass status: Yummy.

Numbero Uno.

Yes. I know. You guys seen this miles away. Who didn't? Ahhhhh Clive Owen. Supreme Hotness, Smooth Operator, All-around Badass. The Constantly Dramatic One wants to do you. Desperately.



I would rip that suit off him. Seriously.

Maybe its the baritone voice. Maybe its the chin. Maybe its the fact that he is one of those men that doesn't have an ounce of feminine side. A bonafide caveman. A supremely hot caveman. Remember that scene in Closer, when he was talking dirty to Julia Roberts? Yeah, I dare you to find a hotter scene than that in any given mainstream movie. Clive Owen, too hot for words.




Age: 42
Ass Status: Pretty damn tight.

So there you go. That's my long awaited list. I'm tagging:

Peter

3kc

Natalija (No link coz her blog is by invitation only.)

Aini

A (partial) list of hot men as according to the Constantly Dramatic One...

I have been tagged by Gypsy, who y'all should know by now is the Constantly Dramatic One's bestfriend all the way from the schooling years. And woman have to tag me with what I am declaring as the most DIFFICULT tag imaginable in the history of the blogsphere. Seriously. I'm supposed to list down the 10 hottest men as according to me. Its kinda tough when I have like 50 dudes all over the place.....Took me ages to come down with the top ten.

It was painful having to leave some out. Gut wrenching, heart breaking....... but it has too be done to honour the tag. Also I honestly have nothing else to do...actually I have to clean my room but fuck that shit. So I present to you:

A (partial) list of hot men as according to the Constantly Dramatic One!!

Number 10.

Iker Casillas of Real Madrid.

The first time I saw super hottie Iker Casillas was on the massive screen in the stadium. The year was 2002 and my family and I was in Suwon, South Korea - Fifa World Cup 2002 bitches. Ireland VS Spain game of which Spain totally pwned Ireland in the knockout stage.

Have you heard of the saying "Football is a beautiful game"? Yeah....looking at Iker I completely understand why they say that.

Age: 27
Ass status: Super tight. I mean c'mon, he is an athlete.
Super Hot YouTube video: *click*

Number 9.

Sean Bean

Ahhhhh....... Sean Bean. You might not be familiar with this British badass coz he isn't all that famous. Mostly plays the second fiddle to the leading man or the sophisticated villain. Last seen with Nicholas Cage in National Treasure. And oh yeah, he was also Boromir in Lord of the Rings. He was the star of his own TV series, Sharpe (1993-2006) in which he struts around in a period military uniform and makes all the panties drop.

For me....its not really the face, its more like the voice. Dude have the manliest voice I have ever heard. I have a couple of his movies on DVD and I just let it play to hear his voice. Sexiest voice evvveeeeeeerrr. I could burst a blood vessel just listening to his voice.

Age: 50 (Kinda creepy coz he's uuhh....as old as my mom.....I think I should seek psychiatrist help one of these days....)

Ass status: Not tight but he's old so.......

Super hot youTube video:*click*

Number 8.

Keegan Micheal Key

Basically a new discovery. I have been obsessively watching MADtv videos on youTube which also explains the lack of updates. Keegan Michael Key is one of the funniest and talented cast member of the current MADtv cast and he always cracks me up. A man with a sense of humour is indeed a sexy man.

Age: 36
Ass status: Its okay......
Super hot youTube video: None, but there are some really funny ones. And my favourite is this one where he is pretending to be a fake African. Its hilarious. Check it out!

Number 7.

Juanes

First and foremost Juanes is a musician, a very talented musician. His uber hotness comes from his unmistakable passion for music. You can feel that passion in every song that he sings. And I say that from a view point of someone who speaks no word of Spanish. When you don't understand the language, you enjoy the beats, the flow but most of all what attracts me to any kind of music is the passion conveyed by the singer. And Juanes have truckloads of that.


Passionate, talented and I did mention he's a rock star right?

Age: 35
Ass status: Very niiiiiceeeee....

Super hot youTube video: A whole lot but this is the link to my favourite song of his; A Dios Le Pido

Number 6.

Ralph Fiennes

Most people pronounces his name as well, "Ral-ph Fien-nes" but in actually you pronounce it as "Rafe Fine" and indeed he is ffffiiiiiinnnneeeeee. Suave and sensual are the words to describe Mr.Fiiiinnnee. And oh yeah, that's also that little thing about him. You know that little thing of looking smoking hot in a uniforms. Schindler's List anyone?


I want to lock him up in my closet and make him my play thing.

Now you know.



Age: 45
Ass status: Dunno. Too fixated with his eyes.
Super hot youTube video: *click*

And we're done with the first part. Stay tuned with the second part and yes Clive Owen is in there somewhere. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

To be continued............

Song dedication

Every time I hear Mariah's new single, 'Touch My Body', I think of Clive.... therefore the following video is specially dedicated to Clive Owen.

That would be all.

Thank you.

Dear Clive, why are you so hot?

Dear Clive,

I came home today after a long day in college of talking shit and well, more talking shit and basically I'm beat. I thought I'll get online and get some school work done but then I stumbled upon these pictures of you on Jezebel.com and Holy Mother of God...........

Let me touch you.

Intimately.

All over.

Thinking of nasty, naaaasty thoughts of you tonight,

The Constantly Dramatic One.