Song dedication

Every time I hear Mariah's new single, 'Touch My Body', I think of Clive.... therefore the following video is specially dedicated to Clive Owen.

That would be all.

Thank you.

Dear Clive, why are you so hot?

Dear Clive,

I came home today after a long day in college of talking shit and well, more talking shit and basically I'm beat. I thought I'll get online and get some school work done but then I stumbled upon these pictures of you on Jezebel.com and Holy Mother of God...........

Let me touch you.

Intimately.

All over.

Thinking of nasty, naaaasty thoughts of you tonight,

The Constantly Dramatic One.

OMG!!! Its an air raid!

I am so contemplating to call the cops right now. Seriously. The goddamn cops. But last time I checked, the Constantly Dramatic One is not a citizen of the Unites States of A, I am Malaysian and here we just don't call the cops on each other. That's just not how we roll but goddamn I want to.



I had what like the loveliest sleep for a long time when I was woken up of what sounds like things blowing up. I woke up in panic because currently I am reading The Diary of Anne Frank and I think it entered my subconscious because I swear to God that I thought I was in Holocaust Germany and we are having a goddamn air raid. Well.....it wasn't. It turns out that some kids down the street decided to finish off the fireworks from Chinese New Year. They decided to start playing it at exactly midnight. Dude, when you are dreaming that you are Anne Frank living in hiding and terror from being sent to the gas chamber - trust me on this - you will be shitting your pants waking up to the sound of things blowing up.

So now they're still blowing shit up. It is so goddamn noisy. But I think this is another part of the Lunar New Year celebration that I am too ignorant to know of. Maybe its Chap Goh Meh today? I dunno. All I know that its noisy and I am so damn sleepy. And its Thursday night for fuck's sake! If it's Friday night its still okay. I have places to go to tomorrow bitches. Important things to do.

I'm going to go watch smokin hot Clive Owen in Elizabeth: The Golden Age and that is important okay. It has been ages since I salivates after Clive. Its a fucking 11am show and I want to watch his sexy ass in period costume. This shit is important. What if I couldn't wake up and NOT be able to catch the show? Then to whom am I supposed to have my lewd thoughts directed to if not Clive's sexy ass in period costume?

Huh huh huh??????!!!!!

Update (Feb 16th 2008)

I have been told that the fireworks wasn't some pesky kids needing a good spanking. It was actually the religious/cultural affair for the Hokkien community who celebrates their Chinese New Year on the ninth day of the Lunar Year, also known as the Pai Ti Kong. The Constantly Dramatic One apologizes if I had made any kind or unintented racist remark out of my ignorant, dramatic ass. My bad. On that note if you still pissed off about this than well, you know my email.......

Nosy bitches and full body massages

Ever had a full body massage? No. Then let the Constantly Dramatic One tells you all about it.

I decided to get a full body massage the other day because what better way to celebrate the new year then to pamper yourself silly? Plus bear in mind, I didn't get to celebrate the New Year thanks to the food poisoning that followed me all the way from China.


Inspired by a recent blog post by the deliciously passive aggressive Cheesecakeerian, I decided that I too will have my full body massage in an open air setting at the gazebo. Usually the gazebo is there to accompany two people, a couple if you would so when I requested to get my massage there the manager was surprised and a little bit reluctant. I asked her sarcastically if a terrible spell would befall the spa hence propelling them into bankruptcy if a woman sans one boyfriend get her massage done there - solo. After giving me a dirty look , she told me that yes, I can get the open air massage that I want.


My day at the spa was off to a good beginning.


My messues led me to the gazebo and I was amazed. It actually took my breath away. I have been to this spa before but I stayed inside the building, though the decor is glorious in all its Balinese inspired theme but the backyard literally took my breath away. To get to the gazebo one must first walk across a huge greenery area with trees and shrubs, if you have watch old Malay movies where P.Ramlee was wooing the princess in the moonlight in the royal garden you would know how this place looks like. The gazebo itself was set in an almost-island. There was a makeshift pond complete with lilies underneath and the soothing sound of the [artificial] waterfall helps made the atmosphere heavenly. The gazebo was wrapped with thin layers of cloth in assorted pastel colours and when you stepped inside you can still make out the shape of things outside the gazebo through the cloth. Its all very...romantic.

Mental note: next time bring Charlie.

See the thing with full body massage is that you gotta go buck naked so if you have problems with getting naked with a total stranger and letting them touch you...then a full body massage isn't for you. My messues, a real Balinese woman waited outside the gazebo as I was getting undressed. They provided this disposable panties, that looks like disposable granny panties- I'm serious -for you but really its useless, because when they say full body massage - trust me they will be touching everywhere. Its not like its my first time getting a massage. But I really did not want to look like a shameless wanton so I put them on even though I did not want to.

As I was lying down and the messues was working her way from my feet applying just the right amount of pressure. I was thinking what a beautiful day it is, and what a good start to a year and how I wish its not some Balinese woman who is giving me a massage but instead the father of my [yet unborn] children, Charlie, that was the point that my messues decided to strike a conversation with me.

"You know, you have a nicely shaped butt. If you work out more, it'll look better."

Bear in mind that when she made this comment...I wasn't wearing much. Aaaaaawkward.

"Ohh....uhhmm...thanks."

Silence.

"So when was the last time you were touched by a man?

...............................................................................................................

..................................................................................................................

Say whhhhhhhaaaat?!!!!

"Excuse me?"

"You know when was the last time you did it?"

WTF?

"That really is none of your business."

"Oh can't get a man?"

"Oh I get plenty.....I just don't like...men."

At this point I turned around and gave her a meaningful smile. The look on her face was priceless. Ahahahahahaha! Homophobe much?

After that she didn't try to make anymore conversations coz I think she really think that I was a lesbian. Because I have nothing better to do with my life I kept on moaning suggestively every time she applied more pressure. After my 90 mins session was done, she wouldn't even look at me in the face. I think I scarred her for life. Heh. I'm goin to hell for this but who ask that bitch to be so nosy?

It was a good massage. Nosy bitch, aside from being nosy, is actually really good at massaging. Maybe I'll go back there again next month and request for her.

Bet that would freak her out.

For the interested:

Jentayu Spa

No 11, Jalan Gelenggang, Bukit Damansara, 50490 Kuala Lumpur

(03) 2094 4428

Dramatically brilliant

I have been tagged by Kerp who openly said "people under the age of 25 are a bunch of idiots". Uh huh. He did. Get the pitchforks and track him down. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! But he did and now he tagged the Constantly Dramatic One to try and make up for that. But to tell you the truth...I agree with him. They mostly are stupid. Except for me. I am dramatically brilliant.


1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
My dad.


2. What were you doing at 0800?
Facebook stalking.


3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Late breakfast with Mom and Dad.


4. What happened to you in 2006?
A lot of things. Entered the ultra bitchy world of private college...nothing I cannot handle though. I am after all a Convent girl. Went to Turkey, went for a hot air balloon ride, went to watch my first musical and dance on stage in front of over 1000 people. No bad eh?


5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Nanti sekejap lagi adik kemaslah Mak!"


6. How many beverages did you have today?
Water, coffee (2 cups), milk and pink lemonade.


7. What colour is your hairbrush?
Which hairbrush? I have 3.


8. What was the last thing you paid for?
The dry cleaning for my coat.


9. Where were you last night?
My aunt's place for Raya Haji.


10. What colour is your front door?
Maroon.


11. Where do you keep your change?
My Nine West purse.


12. What's the weather like today?
Hot and humid which is much better than dying of cold.


13. What's the best ice-cream flavour?
Peppermint chocolate chip from New Zealand Natural.


14. What excites you?
Men in uniform.


15. Do you want to cut your hair?
No growing it into the length of the Vidal Sassoon classic bob and dying it either purple or maroon next year.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
No. But I am not an idiot...contrary to what some people might think. The Constantly Dramatic One is dramatically brilliant.


17. Do you talk a lot?
Clearly, you do not know me.


18. Do you watch the O.C?
No. I hate it with a vengeance. I loathe the actresses and their 0 percent body fat bodies and their thighs that do not jiggle when they walk. Skinny anorexic bitches.


19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Yes. A total bore. He doesn't read my blog so I can say that.


20. Do you make your own words?
ALLLLL the time.

21. Are you a jealous person?
Nope. I just get even.


22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
Amy.


23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
Karen.


24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
Lalathi.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
"Woman, did you take my MAC lip gloss? I can't find it."

26. Do you chew on the straw?
No.

27. Do you have curly hair?
No. Wavy-ish.


28. What's the next place you're going to?
Lavanya Bridal to get my eyebrows threaded. Indian bridals are the best at threading.

29. Who's the rudest person in your life?
Munkao. We share a love/hate thing.


30. What was the last thing you ate?
Nasi Himpit


31. Will you get married in the future?
Not before the age of 31 and only once I own my own place, car and a career I could be proud of.


32. What was the best movie you've seen in past 2 weeks?
Stardust . Watched it 3 times in a row on my flight home. Charlie Cox is indeed a fox.

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
Please refer to number 32.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
In Chicago. I stayed at my brother's place and it was kinda messy. So I did his dishes, made up his bed and straightened his place up a bit because it was irritating me.


35. Are you currently depressed?
No not currently. But I could later in the day. Its call mood swings.


36. Did you cry today?
No. But pop in 'Singin in the Rain' in the DVD player and watch the waterworks go overtime.


37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because Kerp would say I am a bad sport if I don't. Kan Kerp kan...? =p


38. Tag 5 people who would do this.
Son Son
3kc
Quin
Mona
The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch

Hiatus

Blog Hiatus

The Constantly Dramatic One is off on vacation in Chicago.

Blogging will resume in two weeks time as I return back to Malaysia on the 16th. Then flying off again to Beijing this time on the 24th. So there shall be blogging in between.

But just in case I got too tired (read: lazy) I would like to wish everyone an advanced

Happy Christmas!

But before that, this is a little parting gift for ya'll.

His name is Michael Fassbender. I will touch him...intimately. All over. And willingly let him do the same to me...and now with that image in your head, the Constantly Dramatic One would like to wish you an advanced

Happy New Year!!

See you in 2008.

Constant Drama and the 5th Harry Potter installment

So I went to see the 5th Harry Potter movie: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on the night it premiered in Malaysia. And I have to tell you this, it did not dissapoint...much.

Well seeing that the books played a Friggin Huge Role when I was growing up. When I say Huge- I mean obssesed. Like crazy obssesed. I was a fan before it became over-commercialized. I was a fan even before Chris Columbus started reading the book to his children at night. I was a fan before there was even a script written up for Joanne (see I'm on 1st name basis with her). I was a fan before the fad. I was there, bitches and you aint.

Back in the day I had a luvvvver, and his name was Ron Weasley. Not the one in the movies, as in the one from the pages of the books. The one that did not exists? That was my lover and boy was I in love. I wrote his name all over the pages of my school books and I dont think that any book survived my school years without "Ron Weasley" or at least "RW 3> CD" scribbled all across it. Man, he was my luuuuvvver. HAHAHA!

Anyways, the 5th movie is good. On the scale of 1 to 5, I give it a 3. Satisfactory but not the greatest and I have a feeling that the director and the screenwriters try their damnest to stick to the book from whence it came and as a fan of the HP series, I thank them. Go check out the movie, fan or not its still pretty damn entertaining but do bring someone who knows the books coz I think that this installment have hidden gems here and there that only the readers will know and can tell it to you.

For now I will retreat to bed seeing that I'm writing it to you right after I come back from the midnight premier and its 3.31 in the morning. Maybe one day...I'll publish the Many fanfics that I have written for HP. Many of which revolving Ron and uhh uhh...some girl that resembles greatly of me. Wasn't intentional, just coincidental *winks*

FYI: The Ron that was my Luvvverr lived in my head and he was sooooo much better looking than this kid.