You know what pisses me off? Okay to be fair…..a lot of things piss me off. I am easily irritable. Some poor fuck look at me the wrong way and I’ll be pissed for days. I should start taking anger management classes, but that is not the issue here. Since this is my blog, we’re not gonna focus on my anger problem. We’re gonna focus on the fuckers that are pissing me off right now, at this very moment.
I’m gonna talk bout show off blogs.
You know………………those kinds.
“OMG! I went to the mall today. I bought pink toilet tissues to wipe my smelly ass with!”
*insert picture of said pink toilet tissue*
*insert picture of blogger’s smelly ass*
*readers collectively die from the sheer stupidity and fuckery of it all*
Really bish? Really? Is it really necessary for the whole goddamn world to know that you bought this and this on that and that day? Reaaaaly? Reeeeeaaaaaaly? Is your life so motherfucking mundane that buying random, worthless, fugly, cheap-ass shit need to be blog about? Reaaaaallllly?
I mean come on!!
There are exceptions of course. If per’se, you just bought your first house, your first car…these are life milestones. Then by all means; take photos. Blog about it. Go crazy. But does the collective world really need to know about how you went to One Utama today and bought Big Apple Doughnuts, complete with pictorial description of each doughnut? Is your life that sad and void of neither importance nor significance that buying doughnuts just became the highlight of your motherfucking week? Realllly? If it is then damn son, that is some sadass sssshyit. If you are running a shopping blog then yes, blog away bout the things you just spend your hard-earned money on. If you are running fashion blog, then yes, do tell us all about your adventures in the Jimmy Choos store in downtown
But really come on. Once in a while it’s fine to do that shit. Once in a while. Not all the motherfucking time. Blog about something else for a change. The weather perhaps. Your bowel movements. Your pet koala’s bowel movements. Something else other then how much money your drop today to buy that fugly-ass bag. You are more then the shit you buy. Don’t let your purchases define who you are cause that’s just sad. This whole fuckery of blogging of things that you have bought just to upped someone else and to show off that you are super-d-duper rich is just sad okay.
Cause, guess what? Wealth comes and goes and that shit you buy could or could not be pawned off. But genuine wittiness and talent for the dramatics such as the one I was born with could never be bought. So got sit in the corner with your 1000$- something bag and have a conversation with it while I entertain everyone with my amusing stories and become the life of the party. As I always am and you will never be.
So blog about that for once and stick it in your 1000$ bag. You pucchiaca.
