Wednesday, January 27, 2010

So...umm....FML


He’s gay!!!'


He’s gay!!!


Remember Geek Boy, who played me like the fool that I was…..and then he wanted to meet me and then I stood him up? He’s gay!!


He’s gay!!!


The guy that I was smitten with and picked over a military man, who is hot and who wanted to fuck me 7 ways till Wednesday, is gay. He’s gay!! I was so into this guy. I was so messed up when he played me. I didn’t cry though, thank God. The moment you cry over a man, huney, you lose. But still, I was really messed up. And now I found out. He’s gay.


Oh my god!!


No wonder I was rejected!! I don’t have a dick. You guys know what this means right? It’s not me he rejected. It’s my lack of dick!


Okay, okay…let me just take it from the top.


I have a MSN. And even though I deleted him off my list, the dude is still on my network. My MSN network. And I was looking at my MSN network and I saw his new updates and it went something like this


“Woo hoo! Having a great time in San Francisco!”


First of, the fuck is doing in San Francisco? Right. So I buzzed a mutual friend of ours…who did not delete his Facebook page as I did. A bit of pleading, a bit of bribing and then I got my friend’s Facebook password so that I can go snoop around Geek Boy’s page, under my friend’s account.


So he is in San Francisco. He transferred his final year credit and doing it there. Fine. Whatever. Not that I am jealous or anything like that. Cause I never been to San Francisco and always wanted to and now he’s there. Fine, whatever. Then I look at his photos. And there are a lot of photos of him with one guy. Hugging. Sitting together. Partying. Just that one guy. Okay, say bromance or whatever…but it looks more then platonic okay. It looks more like Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee "platonic" bromance. It looks………………..different.


Curious.


So I went to his info page.


Interested in: Relationships with men and women. And then like 5 groups about being bisexual.


Ladies, just like Carrie Bradshaw said- being bisexual just means you’re not ready to come out fully out of the closet yet. And the clincher, he’s on Level 4 of the Supermodel game. No self respecting straight man plays that game. Even I don’t play that game.


Am I reaching here?


And then all his little quirks and the conversation came back. The overtly neat things, the interest in theatre, and the fucking tight pants and oh this one time he told me:


“Oh I’m kinda weird. I like a lot of things that women like. I guess that’s why we can get along so well.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


Yeah, take your time. It took me half a year to figure it out. And henceforth, I shall rename myself. I will no longer be the Constantly Dramatic One. I will be “the Dumb Beyatch who Dates Gay Guys”.


Jesus fucking Christ, how could I not see this? Why was I so blinded? Am I reaching here?


I had a thing for a gay dude…or at least a sexually-confused dude AND THEN at-least-sexually-confused-dude played me and now, he’s in motherfucking San Francisco having butt sex with some American and waving the gay pride flag during Mardi Gras!


This is bullshit. My life is bullshit. It’s a whole lot of bullshit that been thrown together and labelled as my life.


But hey, at least it’s not me. I mean, it’s not my fault I’m not a gay man. And have awesome tits and a working vagina instead of a dick. If I ever meet him again…I will let him know that what happened was okay and give him a hug….and then we can go shopping together.


After all….every fag needs a hag.


25 comments:

Ania said...

Story of my fucking life.

But it is a comfort knowing that they're not rejecting you, just your entire gender.

turtle said...

*jaw drops*

oh-ehm-geee!


i didnt know what to do first..say wtf or laugh!

Gypsy On The Move said...

Babe,
I thought you were good at detecting gays. Aduh...but its okay. Now we all know the truth. =)
I still can't believe he's a gay. Hmm...

FarA said...

..........

why attractive men are always gay T______T

do pity us women who LOVE MEN. sigh

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Ania:

Yes! Precisely.

turtle:

Laugh babe, just laugh. Shit like this could only happen to me.

Gypsy:

I was blinded! And totally have to work on the gaydar. Meh.

Fara:

The whole damn world is going gay...maybe we should start batting for the other team too?

Tanglebloom said...

I kinda told you that this was a possibility, no?

And what is this about a hag and a fag?! I thought you were my hag?!

saruneko said...

CD, you just crack me up so bad.
But I HAVE been looking for a gay friend... Intro?

joshua said...

ish. faker playa. i am embarrassed by him. geez.

anyway it's his loss.

you are way too fab for this kanasai la.

"lotsa good fish, good fish in the sea"

faye said...

Explains soooooooo much now ! :) lol.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Tanglebloom:

I know!! I should have listened to you. You are far more wiser then me. And I am always your hag before any other fags....but you're so far away and I have needs girlfriend!

Saruneko:

I would...but I'm not even talking to him. And he's in US.

Joshy:

Thanks babes, and don't be embarrassed cause of him. He's an ass, you are fabulous.

Faye:

I know right!

senorita.. said...

dudeeeeeeeeeeeeee's gay. u know, i think u gain so much more now that u knw he is gay. gays make awesome friends.

Anonymous said...

What an amazing story, do you think he assumed that you already knew?

hummingbird said...

Wow. I forgot what I wanted to say after I read the disclaimer right after the "Leave your comment".

Will get back to you once I find my train of thought.

But in short, you HAVE to have a IS HE OR IS HE NOT moment in your life, and then falling madly in love with that creature and then finding out he is outrageously gay.

It's all about the drama darling!

Prince Gomolvilas said...

We win! We win! We successfully recruited another one! We win! :)

Peter Varvel said...

LOL @ Prince's comment!
Congratulations, TCDO! I know it sucks, but you have successfully completed a very necessary rite of passage!
Give yourself about a decade or more, but this is the oh-so-important first step toward achieving the fulfilling "Will & Grace" type friendship (do you watch that show in Australia/Malaysia?)

Tinesh said...

LMAOOOOOOO!!!! Kesian kau. At least with lesbians, us guys can tell. well sorta.

how much u wanna bet that if Kerp reads this, he's gonna say something about me??

senorita.. said...

@Peter.... I LOVEEEEEE THAT SHOW!

Frank said...

Okay, this may come across as mean, but...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sorry...I thought it was amusing :-P

Anonymous said...

Dear Constant Drama,

I hope that you would not use such words on Jesus Christ. Although it may be a passing remark, it is very offensive to your Christian readers. I'm sure Muslims would feel the same if something offensive was said about your prophet. Thanks :)

jaak said...

I suppose you are a stay at home mum by now? Salam penguin, jaak

Nani Othman said...

jeez i laughed so hard. man.

i have gay friends. they are really nice people. and i've also met gays who are an even emo-er bunch than women with PMS.

hi. been your silent reader for a while.

I LIKE YOUR WRITINGS, hehe. =) i'd say very much several times, too.

and um..can i add your blog up my link list?

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Senorita:

Dude! I know!

Anon:

No, I don't. But now I believe he should assume that I think that he is an asshole.

hummingbird:

And thanks to him I have abundance of that!

Prince:

Sure hun...rub it in.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Peter:

I do! But I feel sooo stupid now.

T-man and Frank:

At least my pain is there for you entertainment.

Anon:

What prophet? And no, I will no longer take your Lord's name in vain. I mean no offense and I hope that you have not taken any.

In any way, I apologize and it won't happen again. I will only take Ceiling Cat's name in vain from now on.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Jaak:

You are such a weirdo.

Cik Nani:

Do whatever you want hun. My life is your entertainment.

Nani Othman said...

i've already added u up my link list. forgot to tell you~!

thanks for the permission. <- cheesy.