Raging Teenage Hormones; Part Deux

I’m so excited!!

It’s Supanova tomorrow!! Basically Supanova is this pop culture convention where science and fantasy geeks congregate. The fact that I use the word “congregate” in a sentence shows how big of a fucking geek I am. There will be cos-plays, glompings, competitions and guest stars. This quite frankly, is the only reason why I’m going tomorrow. Other then the whole I-am-super-geek part. Let’s not forget that shall we?

You guys!!!!! Spike’s gonna be there!!!! I think I can die now.

Wait, what you mean “Who’s Spike?” You dirty bastards.

For all those who grew up in the 90s, you guys remember how big Buffy the Vampire Slayer was right? When I was in high school, Buffy was the shit. We used to have discussion groups in the school the next day….. discussing everything that went on in whatever the episode that went on the night before. Every generation has a TV show. The 70s had "Happy Days", the early 80s had "the Wonder Years", the early 90s had Beverly Hills 90210 (the original, not the bullshit that goes on right now)….and my batch? We had Buffy. Okay we also had "Bill Nye the Science Guy" and "Charmed" and yeah okay but Buffy was definitely Top 5.

Ah Buffy……… when vampires were actually cool and not sissy emo-bitches that glitter when the sun hits them. Memo to Stephanie Meyer: Vampires burn and then die in the sun. They do not glitter like over-the-hill Vegas show girls? Comprehende?

Anyways, there was Spike. The Big Bad. Villain turned comic relief turned anti-hero….and all around the object of my unbridle, hormonal, teenage lust. Man, he was a sexy bitch. It wasn’t just me. My best friend and I used to fight over who would get him at the back of the class during Biology. Fucking stupid ok. But wah….he was sexy. The platinum hair, the British accent, the tight leather pants, the witty exchanges….….more of a rock star then a vampire really and man, did he rocked my world. I used to have a poster of him at my desk and just used to stare at it instead of doing my Add Math exercises. This would explain why I flunk Add Maths during the finals. Heh.

Ahhh……..to be young and full of raging teenage hormones again…………

Anyways, that was then and I haven’t thought of Spike since like….well the last decade. The show died, I went to college and there are other guys to lust over namely….you know…*cough* Clive Owen *cough* until one day during study group, my friend oh so nonchalantly mentioned it. “Oh CD, did you used to watch Buffy? That Spike guy gonna be at Supanova you know….”……and the obsession was renewed.

I know its so passé! But wah, I feel like a teenager again. Watching Buffy on Thursday night and then going to school the next day all excited to discuss the hotness that is Spike….and sometimes the plot too. I mean, it’s not everyday you get to meet the dude that used to be a poster hanging on your wall. This is big to me you know. Like a blast from the past. The only thing that I’m bummed about is that all my school mates that used to worship him as well can’t be there tomorrow. Especially my best friend. Would have been so much fun…... Just like old times.

But you know what’s different this time around? This time he’s in the flesh. And this time…………… I’m legal. Ahem.

Healed

I’ve been gone a long time.

I’ve been busy. I’ve been out and about. I’ve been cooped out in my room doing assignment. I’ve been researching. But most of all…….I’ve been licking my wounds.

I know……….it’s been awhile and to tell you the truth, I needed all that time. I mean, people, I have to deal with the thought of me being so revolting that I actually made a dude….gay.

It is not a good feeling. One I wouldn’t even wish on those I venomously hate. No one. That’s how bad of a feeling it is. Was.

I tried to play it down. Make a joke out of it. Made a shitload of dick jokes out of it specifically but when I step back and examine the issue like an adult; I have to admit to myself that it was a blow. A huge one to my ego, to my vanity, to my sense of worth as a woman……..I mean, the fuck? I am so repulsive that I turned a guy gay?

Of course gay men reading this would go “Oh huney, its not you. We always have been gay. Its just nature”. Of course, but it’s never a good feeling to know that you are the last one, the last final straw for him, that shoved him out of the closet. To entertain the idea that you are that revolting that this would have happen to you.

I’m over it now. I took my sweet time at it of course; it’s just something big that I had to deal with at my own time. But I’m back now and ladies and gentlemen…..and it’s back to regular scheduled bitchings from now on.

Stay tuned. Bitches.