Thursday, April 08, 2010


I’ve been gone a long time.

I’ve been busy. I’ve been out and about. I’ve been cooped out in my room doing assignment. I’ve been researching. But most of all…….I’ve been licking my wounds.

I know……….it’s been awhile and to tell you the truth, I needed all that time. I mean, people, I have to deal with the thought of me being so revolting that I actually made a dude….gay.

It is not a good feeling. One I wouldn’t even wish on those I venomously hate. No one. That’s how bad of a feeling it is. Was.

I tried to play it down. Make a joke out of it. Made a shitload of dick jokes out of it specifically but when I step back and examine the issue like an adult; I have to admit to myself that it was a blow. A huge one to my ego, to my vanity, to my sense of worth as a woman……..I mean, the fuck? I am so repulsive that I turned a guy gay?

Of course gay men reading this would go “Oh huney, its not you. We always have been gay. Its just nature”. Of course, but it’s never a good feeling to know that you are the last one, the last final straw for him, that shoved him out of the closet. To entertain the idea that you are that revolting that this would have happen to you.

I’m over it now. I took my sweet time at it of course; it’s just something big that I had to deal with at my own time. But I’m back now and ladies and gentlemen…..and it’s back to regular scheduled bitchings from now on.

Stay tuned. Bitches.


jaak said...


Peter Varvel said...

Seriously, girl, do NOT be so hard on yourself. It is not easy, from what some of my women friends say.
But these women are also my closest friends - for more than twenty years now!
It's gets better, I promise (eventually).

Ikraam said...

Hey,just think about it like this: you were so gorgeous/fucking fantastic that if he wasn't kissing the very ground you walked on then he must be gay :)