Sunday, April 12, 2009

This is an anticlimax. My bad.

There’s a possibility that my asshole housemate is an evil genius.


So picking up from where I left last, I was all gearing up for an argument with Le Fucktard- I was just waiting for Tanya to leave the house. I gave it an hour so round 10pm I left my room to go knock on Le Fucktard’s door so that we can have our “talk” and guess what, fucker wasn’t home. No dude, seriously. His bedroom’s door was open and so was Tanya’s. I wasn’t satisfied so I went downstairs to check the laundry room just in case he was cowering behind the washing machine or something….but nothing. I was home alone.



Fucker ditched me.



Dude, I was even more pissed at that point. The fuck. You do not leave the house when I wanna yell at you. You just don’t. Period. I was so pissed I took out the frozen chocolate cake from the freezer and started eating. Emotional eating yo. Do you know how frustrating it is to look forward to yelling at someone and finding out the fucker wasn’t home? Wah, damn frustrating okay. I went to bed angry that night.



But I didn’t get a real good sleep cause my throat have been sore for the last few days. I think the frozen chocolate cake was the last straw cause I was pretty much coughing and clearing my throat all night long. Then at about 2am there was a knock on my bedroom’s door. I know it was 2am cause I go to sleep with my mobile phone okay. At first I thought I was hallucinating and then I heard it again. The knock.



On my bedroom’s door.


At 2 in the morning.



At first I thought “Oh, NOW he wanna have the talk? Fucker.” Then it occurred to me that people don’t talk at 2 in the morning. Which bring me to the next logical explanation in my still drugged with sleep mind- he’s outside my door. With a knife. And the moment I open the door he gonna stab me cause he is a psycho and he is pissed with me. Dude, I totally woke up at that point. I was like “Shit! Shit! I have no exit strategy! Ohmygod ohmygod! The window has bars on it…..maybe if I kick it really hard I can still get away.” And then he knocked again.



There’s nothing else I could do but to open the door. I opened it slowly and he was standing there, but instead of holding a knife to stab me with….he was holding a bottle of cough medicine. I stared at him.



“Hey, I was downstairs watching the TV. I can hear you from down there. You sound pretty bad.”


I just stared at him.


“I got this cough syrup. It could make you feel better.”


Even in my paranoia induced mind I realize something: "This fucker is goooood." Oh man, he gonna be one smooth ass lawyer.


So I was like “No, I’m okay. My mom gave me like a whole bag of medicine before she left. So yeah, I got it covered.”


“You sure? Do you need Strepsils or something? Cause I think 7/11 is still open. I can go get it for you.”


Oh yeah….he is goooooood.


“No, I’m good.”


So we just stood there, staring at each other. Me still dry coughing, he in all his evil mastermind glory. And I did the only thing I could. I gave him his chocolate bunny. You see, it’s Easter now and there are chocolate bunnies all over the place. About a week ago I bought 2 chocolate bunnies for him and Tanya, as a gesture of goodwill. This was before the whole not-cleaning-after-himself-fuckery. I already gave Tanya hers but because I was pissed with Chris, I decided that I am not gonna give him his bunny. I’m gonna eat it myself. Fucker won’t be getting any bunny from me. But the hell, he was standing there at 2am with cough medicine okay.

So I gave him his bunny.


“Oh thanks CD. Do you celebrate Easter though?”


“No, but you do. Enjoy your bunny. I’m gonna try go to sleep now. Nites.”


So I went to sleep again, not knowing whether I should be happy that I am still alive and not stabbed to death….or be wary cause my asshole housemate is an evil mastermind.




Michelle said...

Uh huh, evil genius is right. This was an unexpected turn of events! I think you scared him, so now he's trying to make nice. But he's got that passive aggressive thing going so you're to be suspicious of him!

NoktahHitam said...

Real anti climax.

I guess the dude felt bad for ditching his chores. He's trying to make it up to you, at least temporarily escape. Once he kicks start his evil cycle again (and your voice got better), you can open your can of whop-ass.

I'm dead you'll him crying back to his momma.

ps: This is getting interesting. (Too bad I kinda skipped most of your writing although I have you on my RSS for months (or years))

fable frog said...

ah~~~~~ that might not be cough syrups~ that could be poison! thank goodness you didn't take it!! pheewwww~~~~ :P

gypsy-on-the-move said...

I think he felt bad. Or he wanna avoid arguements? sigh....but then the whole cough medicine think make him sound like a nice guy....

benazirjb said...

He is trying to be nice to you.. so that you will not be angry with him anymore. hehee

Adrienne said...

damn.. i did NOT expect that!

Queen B said...


yeah, gotta give him credit...he's an evil genius!

next time put ur shoes on bree van de kamp...then i'm sure u'll be one step ahead~

Technodoll said...

You sound like a soon-to-be old married couple! :-D he hehe

Anonymous said...

Makan kek coklat? Dah gemuk gedempul dah nak menambah kalori?

Anne said...

The cough syrup might have rabies!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I got into that same situation once. And I succumbed to the niceness!!


Zikri said...

maybe he wanted to drug you and kill you and rape your corpse

quin browne said...

you gave him the bunny?? in his hand, and not up his bottom as you should have??

girl, what is WRONG with you??

Frank said...

Ooh, he's a sly one. Don't play his games! Just sleep with a bullet-proof vest on...

Wilfredo said...

Haha! That is funny, funny stuff! But seriously, sleep with a knife under your pillow 'cause you never know, you know?

saruneko said...

Nuuuu i was looking forward to hardcore yelling!

Damn him and his niceties.

faye said...


Now thats a perfect start of a romance story book :) the newww twilight !!!

*ok dont kill me CD*

Cheryl said...

Punch him.

jaak said...

Maybe it is time for me to unveil the fact that I am mr. Clean

Medie007 said...

hur hur hur
at least he cares for ur cough..

no wait...
or maybe he was just so annoyed with ur cough he pretended to be nice playing reverse psychology. :P

chill man, chill! ;)

Cheyz said...

damn!!! that EVIL GENIUS..yeah CD..i think he is scared now.hhaha..but anyway..its ultimate anti climax!!!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Michelle:I am always suspicious of him. Meh.

NoktahHitam:Haha! I have you on there for ages but I have been skipping on your writing too. So I guess we're eve.

fable frog:Holy shit! Yeah, thank God!

Gypsy:He is not a nice guy. He is a sneaky bastard.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

benazir:Perhaps...or he might be an evil genius trying to get me in another way.

Adrienne:I know right!!

Queen B:Ooouuu I love Bree! But I love her hair even more. It's like a glorious wig.

Techno:Ewww take that back.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Anon:"Gemuk gedempul"?

Damn, the last time I heard that was when I was in Darjah 1. Work on your insults and then come back cause that was pathetic.

Anne:I won't! Cause I got you to remind me. Hehe.

Zikri:You are soooo disturbing sometimes.

Quin:I know dude...I know.... I am already ashamed of myself as it is.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Frank:Truly noted.

Wilfredo:I know dude, I know! And the door has no lock some more. Meh.

Saruneko:It's mind games yo. It's mind games.

Faye:I will hurt you for that one day.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Cheryl:Working on it.

Jaak:No. You're the weirdo in Netherlands. Not the one in Aussie.

Medie 007:I think of all theories, yours is most valid.

Cheyz:Glad you love the drama as much as I do. Haha!

Anonymous said...

Fatty bom bom

liyana r said...

Ah, roomate drama. I am quite an expert on this hah.

Totally reminds me of what Ive been going through for the past 2 years. It'll get better, trust me.

Tinesh said...

GEMOK GEDEMPOL!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA i miss simpulan bahasa!!! Man seriously, fuckin pathetic insult. And dude, insults shouldn't be obvious. Like if i called you a retard now that wont be an insult, just a fact. so i shall call you a pantat. wait that's a fact too.

ill think of something and come back k? toodles