Thursday, May 19, 2011

Awkward is my (imaginary) middle name


Omg, fucken kill me.

So I went for a run this morning. It started raining. Continued running in rain, feeling completely badass while looking at weak-ass sissies all sheltered in their car. Hah! You ain't as badass as I am. Look at me! Look at me all wet and running even in this weather. Be in awe of my awesomeness! Be inspired by my wet body indiscernible from sweat and rain water! Be inspired, bitches!!

Got home, feeling all superior. And knowing that my housemates won't be home at this time of day, I thought it would be completely okay to strip down to my sports bra as I entered the house cause my shirt is hella wet and I don't wanna get pneumonia. After all, we all collectively know each other's schedule now and this is an all-girls house. Should be fine, right? Riiiigggghhht?!!

Walk in the house while simultaneously pulling said wet shirt off me. Heard voices. Look up. Three guys I have never seen in my entire fucking life was sitting in the living room.

Fuck.

“Hi.”
“Hi” shirt still halfway off my body.
“We're Bitchface McGee's friends”
“Oh. I live here.”
“Oh.”

Awkward silence.

“I'm just gonna go inside my room now.”
“Okay.”

Awkwardly made way to room. By this time all the guys were grinning. Bastards! Baaaastards!

“Hey.”
“What?”
“I like your sports bra. Pretty.”
“................................”

I just did a striptease for my asshole housemate friends you guys. It does not get any lower than this. Just fucken kill me now.

Just fucken kill me now and get it over and done with.

8 comments:

NoktahHitam said...

I wish bitch mcgee friends, free striptease

alwizhyper said...

oh god! i hate awkward moments like this! it's like you can hear a pin drop during that time.

i so feel you!

benazirjb said...

haven't read your blog for a loooong time!

Frank said...

Running in the rain makes me feel hardcore. Running during winter is even better.

That's happened to me before - where I take my shirt off before realizing that there are members of the opposite sex in the room. Usually they either comment on how pale I am or say I'm skinny and offer to get me a sandwich.

Anonymous said...

I pine for your writing. It makes my day. Please note that I am also drunk right now but this in no way hinders my absolute adoration for your scribblings.

jaak said...

I suppose this hardbody shit is just temporary?

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

NoktahHitam:

Dude, no. Just...no.

alwizhyper:

I know right!!

benazirjb:

I haven't bullshitted for a looong time as well.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Frank:

Holy shit Frank! It's been a while. And I went running at night last week, during winter and you're right I was feeling super harcore and shit.

Anon:

That is the most nicest thing an anon has ever said to me. Thank you, you faceless stanger you. You made my day.

Jaak:

Ah Jaak, after all this time you still managed to simultaneously amuse and creep the fuck out of me.

Don't change, don't ever change.