Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Hey, remember when I used to be funny?


I notice there is a slight increase in my readership as of late. Which is all kinds of interesting given the fact that this blog is on life-support as it is. I used to update 3 times a week like clockwork back in the day and barely have any readers. I actually kinda have to tell people to read this little corner of the Internet, which is super sad when you think about it. Now that I barely give a fuck anymore or put the kind of effort that I did back in the day...and I have more readers. 

Weird ass shit man.

So here's a little background for the new kids on the block...and perhaps a refresher for those deluded enough that have stuck around during all these time. Thanks...bitches.

I am a 20 something year old Malaysian woman currently living alone in Brisbane for the last 2.5 years. You should know this because when I make references to “home” I mean Malaysia, and when I say “here”, more often than not it means Brissy. But as the years progresses, the line between “home” and “here” starts to blur and I am sort of stuck in a limbo. The limbo in which I do not know nor can decide where my heart belongs to. It is like a love triangle. But instead with two smokin hot (and preferably buck-naked men with giant dongs), I'm having it with two different time zones. It's complicated but in no way unique for someone in who is in my position. To love and to hold the country you were born into and in which you should...if you have not sworn your fealty to...or the country that you have adopted as your own?

I curse in four different languages and can pick up guys in three. I know how to say “I like your ass in those pants” in Spanish. English is not my first language. I just happen to choose it as the medium to blog in cause it's universal. I date. A lot. I just don't blog about it. Cause some shit you just don't blog about or maybe too trivial I just can't be assed into charting it into my life's chronology. You should know this cause if I just start bitching about some random guy, it might be the dude that is just the current flavour of the month. He will not be a reoccurring character on this blog.

I'm 5'1, 5'4 with 3 inch heels. I'm fat. I started running last August and lost 20kg/44lbs to date but I still have another 15kg/33lbs to go to what is deemed as my healthy BMI. I am not hot. I get hit on a lot though, but I contribute that to fact that I (used) to have big boobs. And that I'm a South East Asian living in a Western country. The word “exotic” could be applied within this context. Once a guy told me that I'm hot, I paused, stared at him and then turn around to make sure there is no hot chick standing behind me and I just so happened to be in the way. Analyse that as you wish.

I'm a Journalism major. In my line of study, I observe and remain objective. In my blog, I observe and be as subjectively bitchy as possible.

I have a thing for men in uniform. Mostly firemen. And/or US Marines. I also have a reoccurring fantasy of having kinky dirty sex with a faceless fireman in a fire truck. Cause fire truck sex is hot. And so is library sex. But with a different fireman. The library should also be on fire as we got it on...just like my loins.

I make fun of religion and God in general. Because reality is my opium, not religion. This tend to grate on people's sensibilities. I find this immensely amusing.

I am a feminist. I am not ashamed of it nor will I shove it in your face. I do not preach for equal rights, just respect.

I write things that are uncensored. I write things that might offend you. I write things that concern me in the present now. I write things that matter to me.

And that's really the basic things you should know about me.

Anything else, you can ask in the comment box. Whether or not I'll answer it....is a whole other ballgame. 

5 comments:

NoktahHitam said...

Youre writing about me page? We want drama and more sex on fire trucks. Hahaha

faye said...

Love it.

senorita.. said...

i fell, again. in love.

u're ohsem

Frank said...

Ah yes, I know a thing or two about having a blog on life support. I think all my traffic is generated by me every time I look at my own page...

Hard to believe you've been in Australia for 2.5 years now...I remember reading about the move.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

NoktahHitam:

Dude, rilek ah. Bila ada mood I will get on that.

Faye:

Thanks babes.

Senorita:

Awww....*blushes*

Frank:

Dude, I am all over Tumblr these days that's why I'm neglecting this page. And time travels so fast, so very fast.