The past WILL haunt you....and kick you in the balls.

This is the second week of the new sem and I already know which exact word to use to describe it:


Awkward.


Seriously. Its a short sem, only 7 weeks of classes. The maximum number of subjects that we can take is 3, minimum 2. I'm taking 2 coz I'm lazy. End of story.


Anyways today I went into one of my classes and I spotted a friend. And I was like "Oh hey Mia! I didn't know you were in this class." Before Mia could said anything some dude went "I'm in this class too." And then it turns out it was him. You know, the guy whom I fake numbered last time.


Shit.


He stared at me and I swear there was hate in his eyes. And the only thing I could think of is "Ohmygod! WTF?! What is he doing here? Shit! What's his name? Oh man, this is a bad time to forget his name. Ohmygod, he gonna whoop my ass!" Then before I could say anything he said "Its Jeff*. Coz I know you've forgotten."


Pwned.


I smiled weakly. I sat down. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. Then out of the blue he came and sat next to me.


"Oh did you went for class last week? I heard he gave out assignments. Can I have it?"
"Uhhhh...the lecturer's a woman. Mrs.J? She didn't give out any assignments last week......."
"No our other class. We're taking the same subjects this term."


Fuck.


"Really?"
"Yeah. I noticed you but you didn't noticed me."


At the point my inner monologue went: Okaaaaaaaay.......creepy stalker bastard. OMG!!! Where the fuck is my pepper spray?!! Where the fuck is my pepper spray?!! My bag is too big!! I cannot find it. Never mind, I will kick him in the balls.


"Uhhhh, I don't have my notebook for that subject. So I can't remember the exact thesis.......but I can email it to you."
"Oh that's cool. Here lemme write my email for you. I would ask for yours but you probably give me a fake one."


Pwned. Again.


At that point Cheesecakeerian came into the room so I told him that I wanna go sit next to her. Than I kinda half run, half-trying-to-walk-like-I'm-cool towards Cheesecakeerian. That shit was so fucked up. What the hell? I was caught unprepared okay. And he is such a he-bitch.


You know I was being kind when I faked numbered him. Yes it was kindness. I could tell him the truth but that would hurt his feeling. I mean which would he prefer: being fake-numbered or "I'm sorry. I don't want to go out with you coz you're not Clive Owen"? I mean, honestly. That shit is kindness. Be thankful you little he-bitch. Wanna give me attitude and all.....

Stupid He-bitch.


But damn. This is awkward. I'm gonna be in 8 classes with him- for 6 weeks. This sucks donkey balls. Its like Tweety all over again. Tweety is stupid but this one is a little he-bitch with attitude......Hmmmm, come to think of it... I rather take the little he-bitch with attitude than Tweety any day of the week. Yeah...... silver lining in everything.


Still gonna be awkward though.

Boobies. I has them.

The other day as the Constantly Dramatic One was sitting with friends on Level 4, talking shit, cursing the slow internet connection and stared in wonder at the laptop's screen after finding out that the damn college administration had banned Facebook from being accessed when something fascinating happened. A chick walked past. Now there's nothing that amazing about her. She just another random chick that happened to walk by. But the thing about this particular chick is that perhaps she is having some kind of problem in the undergarment department. I'm thinking she have not got the right bra for her.

Her breast wasn’t that big and she wasn't walking to attract attention but she was nonetheless walking. And with every step her breasts bounced. And with every bounce almost all the male eyes in the room was on her. On her breasts. It was like some kind of a ping pong game and they were just fascinated by her breasts. And I was fascinated by them. Here was this chick, minding her own business, wearing a polo top and jeans and she hold all the male attention in the room. Just coz her breasts bounced.

So I look down to my breast and I was like "Hello lumps of fat on my chest, what is this power that you have that have got the men all so fascinated?" Of course my breasts couldn't reply so I sat there for about a minute or so just staring at my own breasts trying to figure it out. I bet it was fucking weird if anyone saw me do that. And then out of sheer curiosity I turned to my guy friend Ali who was sitting next to me and asked him point blank "Hey, how come men are so fascinated by breasts?"

"Uhhhh........WHAT??!!"

"How come men are so fascinated by breasts?"

He blinked. I stared. He mumbled something I couldn't comprehend.

"So.....how come?"

"I dunno, maybe because we don't have them?"

"I don't have a penis, I don't stare at some random guy's penis all the time."

"Uhhhh.....well I dunno!"

"Okay.............. why?"

"Uhhhhh....fuck. How do I explain this to you? Uhhhhh....hhhmmm....uhhh...."

"So you dunno why you do it?"

"I know. I just need to tone it down for you."

Tone it down for me? Tone it down for me? Holy crap. I bet it's vulgar.

Fortunately for him we were interrupted by a bunch of our friends joining us. This matter wasn't finished though. Today we were having a cafe to help raise money for the victims of snowstorm in China when the matter came up again. And now it wasn't like one on one. A bunch of us were sitting together when Ali said "Hey, CD why don't you ask the guys what you asked me the other day?!" Like in front of the whole fucking group. There was like six guys and they wanna know what is it that I wanted to know coz Ali was being a bitch and making it sound so lewd and they were all staring at me.......... so I asked.

The reaction was hillariously funny. Ali started grinning like a fucking idiot, Jatin got all shy, Sathya had a deer in a headlights kinda look on his face, 3kc started giggling, Cheesecakeerian was observing like a detached scientist and Tinesh on my right exclaimed "Oh crap." loudly. And then Tinesh came up with "Because they are covered up all the time!" to which Cheesecakeerian replied "But some girls just walk around without covering them!" Then Jatin open his mouth, trying to explain, but no words came out. He just kept on opening his mouth and closing them, unintentionally doing a brilliant impression of a dying goldfish.

And then Ali the He-Bitch was like "We dunno!! How come you like ass so much?!" Fucking loud okay. Fucking loud. There were people walking by, the he-Bitch.

"I dunno!"

"Well we dunno why we like breasts either!"

"Hey I asked first!"

"Doesn't matter who asked first! It's the same answer.We dunno, and you don't either."

So now, this whole question has become like that stupid Chicken and Egg question. Which came first? The chicken or the egg? No one can really answer it. But damn, I am curious okay. What is the deal with breasts? What?! So dear Drama Lovers, maybe you can come up with your two cent. For pure scientific purposes of course. Satisfy my curiosity. Breasts are just lumps of fat on a woman's chest. They can produce milk given the circumstance but other than that, they are just lumps of fat. What is the big deal? Seriously.

And oh my ass fascination? Yeah, I totally have an explanation for that but I won't. Because even after toning it down, it ain't that kind of blog.....