The other day as the Constantly Dramatic One was sitting with friends on Level 4, talking shit, cursing the slow internet connection and stared in wonder at the laptop's screen after finding out that the damn college administration had banned Facebook from being accessed when something fascinating happened. A chick walked past. Now there's nothing that amazing about her. She just another random chick that happened to walk by. But the thing about this particular chick is that perhaps she is having some kind of problem in the undergarment department. I'm thinking she have not got the right bra for her.
Her breast wasn’t that big and she wasn't walking to attract attention but she was nonetheless walking. And with every step her breasts bounced. And with every bounce almost all the male eyes in the room was on her. On her breasts. It was like some kind of a ping pong game and they were just fascinated by her breasts. And I was fascinated by them. Here was this chick, minding her own business, wearing a polo top and jeans and she hold all the male attention in the room. Just coz her breasts bounced.
So I look down to my breast and I was like "Hello lumps of fat on my chest, what is this power that you have that have got the men all so fascinated?" Of course my breasts couldn't reply so I sat there for about a minute or so just staring at my own breasts trying to figure it out. I bet it was fucking weird if anyone saw me do that. And then out of sheer curiosity I turned to my guy friend Ali who was sitting next to me and asked him point blank "Hey, how come men are so fascinated by breasts?"
"How come men are so fascinated by breasts?"
He blinked. I stared. He mumbled something I couldn't comprehend.
"I dunno, maybe because we don't have them?"
"I don't have a penis, I don't stare at some random guy's penis all the time."
"Uhhhh.....well I dunno!"
"Uhhhhh....fuck. How do I explain this to you? Uhhhhh....hhhmmm....uhhh...."
"So you dunno why you do it?"
"I know. I just need to tone it down for you."
Tone it down for me? Tone it down for me? Holy crap. I bet it's vulgar.
Fortunately for him we were interrupted by a bunch of our friends joining us. This matter wasn't finished though. Today we were having a cafe to help raise money for the victims of snowstorm in China when the matter came up again. And now it wasn't like one on one. A bunch of us were sitting together when Ali said "Hey, CD why don't you ask the guys what you asked me the other day?!" Like in front of the whole fucking group. There was like six guys and they wanna know what is it that I wanted to know coz Ali was being a bitch and making it sound so lewd and they were all staring at me.......... so I asked.
The reaction was hillariously funny. Ali started grinning like a fucking idiot, Jatin got all shy, Sathya had a deer in a headlights kinda look on his face, 3kc started giggling, Cheesecakeerian was observing like a detached scientist and Tinesh on my right exclaimed "Oh crap." loudly. And then Tinesh came up with "Because they are covered up all the time!" to which Cheesecakeerian replied "But some girls just walk around without covering them!" Then Jatin open his mouth, trying to explain, but no words came out. He just kept on opening his mouth and closing them, unintentionally doing a brilliant impression of a dying goldfish.
And then Ali the He-Bitch was like "We dunno!! How come you like ass so much?!" Fucking loud okay. Fucking loud. There were people walking by, the he-Bitch.
"Well we dunno why we like breasts either!"
"Hey I asked first!"
"Doesn't matter who asked first! It's the same answer.We dunno, and you don't either."
So now, this whole question has become like that stupid Chicken and Egg question. Which came first? The chicken or the egg? No one can really answer it. But damn, I am curious okay. What is the deal with breasts? What?! So dear Drama Lovers, maybe you can come up with your two cent. For pure scientific purposes of course. Satisfy my curiosity. Breasts are just lumps of fat on a woman's chest. They can produce milk given the circumstance but other than that, they are just lumps of fat. What is the big deal? Seriously.
And oh my ass fascination? Yeah, I totally have an explanation for that but I won't. Because even after toning it down, it ain't that kind of blog.....