Oh dear Lord! My EYES!!!!

The Constantly Dramatic One have to take Islamic Studies this sem.

There are two extra subjects that Malaysian students need to do if we wish to graduate or transfer to overseas. The two subjects are Malaysian Studies and Islamic Studies if you're Muslim; OR Moral Studies if you're a non-Muslim. Its a stupid rule that are enforced on all students in this country. I really don't agree with it but who am I to say anything? Its my birthright as a Malaysian to be oppressed by dumb ass rule made by the government.

I don't mind really. I resent the fact that the Islamic Studies class in on Saturdays from 9am to 12pm. I mean people, seriously. Saturday is the day that I get to sleep in until 1 in the afternoon when for the rest of the weekdays I have to wake up at 7.30am for class. Tell me you wont get irritated too? But also I kinda glad to be in this class, to be enlightened again because of late I have been doing things that are securing me my one way ticket to hell...like uuuuhhhh Googling up uuuhhhh nude pics of Charlie Cox and turns out the bastard doesn't even have any so you see people? You seeeee? The Constantly Dramatic One is off the Islamic path and on that fast train to hell.



Situation must be remedied.


I went to my first Islamic Studies in total poser mode. I was garbed in Baju Kurung - because in Islam we believe the female form must be covered, I had my hair tied back - as to not evoke lust in men (hah!) and no makeup or any other kind of self adornment because I am a good Muslim woman. I am innocent, pure and untouched. You of course know that this is bullshit, the Islamic Studies lecturer, the Ustaz - doesn't. See the beauty of it?



Class went on unhitched, I even got to answer some questions (after school Islamic tuition classes pays!!) and he seems satisfied, I was satisfied. Turns out I'm a good little poser. Then at the end of the class he announced that he have put up an extra credit assignment on his website and if anyone interested can go and check it out. I decided I want to do this extra credit assignment because you see people, Islamic Studies is the ONE subject I cannot afford to fail. Its not fine but it will still be acceptable if I fail Biology or Maths or whatever other subject. My parents will be pissed off of course, they will shout and scream and do all kinds of ungodly stuff, but I'll live. Now if I were to fail Islamic Studies, and seeing that the Constantly Dramatic One comes from a traditional Islamic family...the most valid theory is that my family WILL disown me. This is just a theory of course, but a theory I rather not test to be proven.


So here I am on a Saturday night, so damn hip that I contemplated to do my I.S extra credit assignment. Other people are out living it up and I'm home accessing the I.S website for the assignment questions because I'm super hip like that. Super. So I was scrolling down the website searching for the questions and my eyes landed on a picture of this gorgeous dude. "Hello hello, what's this?"



Wow, cute guy. What he's doing here on this site. Scroll down...hhmmm, resume? Education? Years teaching? Wait a minute...OHMYGAWD!!!!!! Its the Ustaz's biodata!! Its my Ustaz biodata!! Ohmygawd he's photogenic!!!!!! Ohmygawd I just checked out my Ustaz!!!!! OHMYGAWD OHMYGAWD OHMYGAWD!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! WTF?!!!!!!!!!

Shit, I feel dirty. I cant believe this. I'm so disgusted with myself? Why the fuck is he so photogenic? Eh shit, I feel so dirty and disgusting now I have to shower coz eeeeeewwwww, can't fucking believe I just totally checked out my Ustaz. Who also happens to be married and have two children, according to his biodata. I'm disgusting disgusting disgusting. I wanna poke my eyes out. I wanna get a bucket full of lava and pour it into my eyes. Ewww disgusting.

Sick man. Sick.

Damn, I'm going to hell for this.

Attention whore

Yeah bitch. I am talking to you.

Listen, let me give you a few tips. First off, when doing a FORMAL presentation in front of the class, please wear something that is appropriate. As in professional, formal attire. Not something with your ass and boobs protruding out.

Secondly, when choosing a bra. Get one that actually has a little pad going on. I like sitting in front of the class because I care for my education. But seeing that you have to wear that fucking bra to class, with your nipple all-gleaming in its slutty splendour, I am assaulted by your damn tits. I go to class to learn, not to look at your nipples as it outlines through your tight shirt.

Which brings us to the third topic here. You have a tummy. You do not have the body of Milla Jovovich or Adriana Lima. You have a fucking tummy that makes you look like you are 4 months pregnant. I'm sure you have never been pregnant in your life but I could be wrong seeing that you are in fact a slut that has STD written all over your face.

Kudos for getting marked the best today. I say that with as much sincerity I could muster. I also sincerely take into accounts that the lecturer is a horny fucker who thinks with his dick.

I will not be sorry to see him gone.

Next week my turn and you Attention Grabbing Whore listen up. I am gonna bring it. And I do not need to wear clothes that highlights my ass or my boobs or to show the whole class that I am indeed the owner of two proud nipples. I am gonna bring it and I will not need to scream or shout or appeal to the lecturer's dick.

Whore.

UPDATES (Nov 19th 07):

Oh wow, look at that. I DID brought it.....

And I didn't even have to tweak my nipples for it.

Whore.