Thank you for everything, Harry and Joanne...

I write this now with feelings of pain and overwhelming sadness...which is silly because the pain that I'm feeling come from losing the people who wasn't mine to begin with and even sillier that they have never existed. I'm talking about the pain of saying goodbye to Harry, Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys especially Fred, the Marauders of Hogwarts and all those wonderful characters that have sprung out from the extraordinary imagination of Joanna Kathleen Rowling.

You know you're onto something great when you read a book so great that you want to be friends with the characters and that when they feel sad so do you and when they die, you moped around the house for weeks mourning the loss of such a beloved friend who just a character that never existed.

I've begun reading Harry Potter when I was 12 and ever since then, it has made a huge impact in my life. And in my mind that these wizards and withes are my friends. Something that I am no shameful to admit because it is a feeling that millions of people around the world will echo as well. Growing up, you learn a lot of things from the people around you, from the movies that you watch and especially from the books you read and the Harry Potter series have helped me through that a lot. There was once a time in my life where I felt like an outcast with nowhere that I belong. Even friends don't feel so great but the books gave me a place where I felt belong. Just as Hogwarts have been a home to Harry and Sirius and Severus and Tom Riddle, so has it been mine, once upon a time when the pain of adolescent and growing up was too much to bear.

Now with the ending of book 7, I bid my friends in the magical world goodbye. I will not know what they will be up to anymore but at least the ending was satisfactory and proved to be a good closure. Now it is time for me, and I guess millions more to heal from the pain of parting with good friends. All good things must come to an end, it is after all for the greater good... As Dumbledore would have said.

So thank you Joanne, thank you for weaving a world of wonderful characters of joy and happiness and fear and despair. Thank you for the great memories and the lessons. Thank you for the good friends that you have created for your readers. Thank you for Hogwarts, a school where everyone belongs but most of all thank you for sharing the adventures with us.

Book Club: Time Traveler's Wife (a.k.a artsy fartsy pseudo intellectual BS)

I went to my 1st ever Real book club the other day. When I say real, I mean as in real life and that I see the people face to face instead of discussing a book virtually online which I have done many, many times before. There are two reasons of why I actually attended the book club:

1. I was invited by a friend, she have invited me many times before but I just couldn't make it so since I could the other day so I went. Its all about good manners.
2. They were discussing the Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger which so happens to be one of my favourite book. Go check out my profile, its listed there.
   

I have to say discussing a book in real life is a whooole lot different from discussing it virtually. For instance, you have to think on your feet and bullshit your way through as fast as you could. Just sprout out any kind pseudo-intellectual bullshit and basically you covered. Well if the rest of the people in the club do not see through it, of course. Where else book discussions online you can do your research regarding the subject matter itself on the spot and then sprout out Super-Extra-pseudo-intellectual shit and look very intellectual on the matter. Which is of course bullshit on its on as well. Another thing I discovered is that, people who go for Book Clubs are snobs- artsy fartsy snobs, intellectual snobs, whatever snobs but when it boils down to it, still a snob. Since I went for it and planning to go for the next meeting, that makes me a snob too.

A pseudo-intellectual artsy fartsy snob (aka full of shit).

That's me.

I can like make some very bitchy statement about one person that get on my nerves during the whole book club, I could. But I fear that the said person could find my blog and then I will be fucked.

I am a pussy.

But really dude, if this person rolls their eyes more during the discussion and smirks whenever someone else voice out their opinion of the book- like our opinions doesn't matter- I could like grab the nearest fork around and stab the said person in the eyes with it. Goddamn annoying.

Other people have their opinion. We voice it out. That's the whole point of a book club. Not your eye-rolling/smirking-think-you're-waaaay-smarter-than-the-rest-of-mankind-plus-Einstein-put-together-club. Okay? Ass.

Anyways, after the book club has ended, I began talking crap with my friend and her sister, who were both lovers of the written words and also happen to be in their 40ties. Yes, I make friends with older people. We laugh, we chatted and in the process they passed me their business cards and I, being me, just slipped them in my bag without even glancing at it. Its not when I'm at home and cleaning out my bag that I notice the cards...

The names of my new found friends were written and then their position and then the education level that they have achieved. And that's when I realised that for the whole evening I was talking crap with PhD HOLDERS. PhD. These people have PhD and I was talking crap with them! Me! I don't even have a friggin degree (technically I am in college and working on that but yeah ok, you get my point right?) and I was talking crap with super intelligent people. Talk about intimidating...

Come to think about it, the book club was on a Friday night and I could have actually went out and get trashed beyond my mind with my friends, people who are off my age and are not PhD holders but instead I chose to be in an uppity coffee shop, sipping lattes and discussing books...

WTH is up with that?!

Even I dunno why I did it. For the next book club, they are goin to discuss "The Sailor who fell from Grace with the Sea" by Yukio Mishima San. Apparently it is a Japanese classic that have been translated into English...I dunno whether or not to participate in the next meeting coz I swear that the title alone is already giving me a headache.

Anyways, now that I have (generally) finish bitching about it- go read the Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

Its awesome.

Constant Drama and the 5th Harry Potter installment

So I went to see the 5th Harry Potter movie: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on the night it premiered in Malaysia. And I have to tell you this, it did not dissapoint...much.

Well seeing that the books played a Friggin Huge Role when I was growing up. When I say Huge- I mean obssesed. Like crazy obssesed. I was a fan before it became over-commercialized. I was a fan even before Chris Columbus started reading the book to his children at night. I was a fan before there was even a script written up for Joanne (see I'm on 1st name basis with her). I was a fan before the fad. I was there, bitches and you aint.

Back in the day I had a luvvvver, and his name was Ron Weasley. Not the one in the movies, as in the one from the pages of the books. The one that did not exists? That was my lover and boy was I in love. I wrote his name all over the pages of my school books and I dont think that any book survived my school years without "Ron Weasley" or at least "RW 3> CD" scribbled all across it. Man, he was my luuuuvvver. HAHAHA!

Anyways, the 5th movie is good. On the scale of 1 to 5, I give it a 3. Satisfactory but not the greatest and I have a feeling that the director and the screenwriters try their damnest to stick to the book from whence it came and as a fan of the HP series, I thank them. Go check out the movie, fan or not its still pretty damn entertaining but do bring someone who knows the books coz I think that this installment have hidden gems here and there that only the readers will know and can tell it to you.

For now I will retreat to bed seeing that I'm writing it to you right after I come back from the midnight premier and its 3.31 in the morning. Maybe one day...I'll publish the Many fanfics that I have written for HP. Many of which revolving Ron and uhh uhh...some girl that resembles greatly of me. Wasn't intentional, just coincidental *winks*

FYI: The Ron that was my Luvvverr lived in my head and he was sooooo much better looking than this kid.

"Mass Comm is a waste of time." Mom.

Over the years, my mom and I have a very, very love-hate-semi-psychotic relationship.

There were the ups...: when we walk together in malls holding hands and bond over spending my Dad's money (a.k.a shopping) and there were the downs...: when I screamed through the door telling her that I hate her and that she said she should have stop having kids at 2 (FYI: I'm the 3rd child).

Harsh words, painful times.

But what happened recently took the cake. In everything that she said that was hurtful to me over the years, this one definitely took the cake.

I'm in college now doing Mass Comm, one day I will continue my studies abroad. My ultimate goal: Film making. It is my dream to make films one day, to see my name billed in the credits under 'Producer', its not goin to be easy but dreams are not worth it when they're easy. Dreams are more wonderful when they have to be fought, when you have to pour blood, sweat and tears into it but more than anything, you want not just you who believe in that dream, you want people to believe in that with you. For that added strength you know.

People that you love and care about, friend and especially family. But in my case that isn't so.

Had a discussion with my mom the other day, discussing my major and when I say that I wanna go with Film Making, she looked at me and she said "I still don't get why you did Mass Comm. Its such a waste of time. Why cant you have done something like Accounting or Law."

.........................................................................................................might not seem much to you but when you have a dream and you're goin after that dream and YOUR OWN MOTHER look at it like that, belittle it like that...it hurts. It really hurts. Its as if someone have taken a knife and just stabbed it through my heart and then for kicks, just squeeze some lemons into so that the pain burns even more.

Okay. Too dramatic. But you get my point.

I'm not angry, I'm just sad that what I chose to do with my life is taken so lightly by my own mother. I guess in the end its true what they say, you biggest cheerleader is you, yourself and no one else.

"A waste of time".

Shit man. That fucking hurts.

FINAL EXAM!!!!

ARRRRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!