Over the years, my mom and I have a very, very love-hate-semi-psychotic relationship.
There were the ups...: when we walk together in malls holding hands and bond over spending my Dad's money (a.k.a shopping) and there were the downs...: when I screamed through the door telling her that I hate her and that she said she should have stop having kids at 2 (FYI: I'm the 3rd child).
Harsh words, painful times.
But what happened recently took the cake. In everything that she said that was hurtful to me over the years, this one definitely took the cake.
I'm in college now doing Mass Comm, one day I will continue my studies abroad. My ultimate goal: Film making. It is my dream to make films one day, to see my name billed in the credits under 'Producer', its not goin to be easy but dreams are not worth it when they're easy. Dreams are more wonderful when they have to be fought, when you have to pour blood, sweat and tears into it but more than anything, you want not just you who believe in that dream, you want people to believe in that with you. For that added strength you know.
People that you love and care about, friend and especially family. But in my case that isn't so.
Had a discussion with my mom the other day, discussing my major and when I say that I wanna go with Film Making, she looked at me and she said "I still don't get why you did Mass Comm. Its such a waste of time. Why cant you have done something like Accounting or Law."
.........................................................................................................might not seem much to you but when you have a dream and you're goin after that dream and YOUR OWN MOTHER look at it like that, belittle it like that...it hurts. It really hurts. Its as if someone have taken a knife and just stabbed it through my heart and then for kicks, just squeeze some lemons into so that the pain burns even more.
Okay. Too dramatic. But you get my point.
I'm not angry, I'm just sad that what I chose to do with my life is taken so lightly by my own mother. I guess in the end its true what they say, you biggest cheerleader is you, yourself and no one else.
"A waste of time".
Shit man. That fucking hurts.