Thursday, October 01, 2009

Too old for peer pressure

You know….I am a motherfucking 20-something years old.

20-something years old!

I am no longer a child questioning everything yet knowing nothing at all. I am no longer an adolescent lovestruck by some pretty boy in a boyband that would probably be defunct within a year’s time. I am no longer a teenager filling out my training bra. Nor am I that 18-year-old fresh out of highschool, wide eyed with possibilities that would probably never be realized. I am a motherfucking 20-something years old. I am seasoned. I live alone on a motherfucking continent away from the land of my birth. Okay. Just get that shit straight. I am a fucking adult and as an adult I should not even be blogging about this fuckery. But then here I am, doing just that.

“CD, you don’t smoke? Wow, what a loser.”

The. Fuck.

Let’s all take a moment here and examine this. The worthless piece of shit who said this to me was

a) 20-something as well
b) a fellow university student
c) supposedly, an “adult”

So again: The. Fuck.

I stared at him. Flabbergasted. And I asked “What did you say?” Cause he couldn’t possibly said that to me, did he now? And he repeated the same thing. But this time he added “All the cool people smoke.” I searched his face for a trace of humour and could find none. Seriously. What are we, a bunch of 16 years old over at the school yard trying to act cool? What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Is he special?

So I said;

“Oh I’m sorry. I’m a loser now because I opted not to burn and poison my lugs day in and day out just so that assholes like you would think of me as “cool”. You know what, I am comfortable with myself. I don’t have to smoke and waste my money by buying a goddamn box of cigarettes that cost like what? 12 fucking bucks so that assholes like you would think I’m cool. So yes, I am a loser. I am loser because I am comfortable with myself and proud of myself that I do not spend thinking of what people think of me and try to “be cool” and “fit in” the way you do during every waking moment of your insignificant little life.”

I sat there and waited for a comeback cause I was geared up for a fight. He looked embarrassed and kinda shuffled away and did not make eye contact with me the whole night. Which was a disappointment cause fucker really pissed me off. I did however, told him off in front of like 4 people. If he meant that as a joke then it was stupid fucking joke cause that shit pissed me off so much.

I mean what kind of statement is that?!! I still cannot get over it. We are adults. This kind of fuckery should not even happen. What the fuck happen to freedom of choice and respecting people? What about non-conformity and individualism? I should not be dealing with this kind of mentality when in uni man. A place of higher education, my giant ass.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no issues against smoking or smokers. Almost all my friends here smoke, I live in a smoking house- both of my housemates smoke and I dated smokers. I have no issues with them. The reason why I don’t smoke is not for health reasons. Fuck that. I’m stingy. Fucking cigarettes are expensive and I like to shop for pretty dresses. It’s either cigarettes or pretty dresses. I have priorities bitches. But that’s not the issue here.

The issue here is that I’m just fucking pissed off that someone would say that shit to me. I’m too old for this fuckery man.