So what you guys do over the weekend? Me? Oh dude, I did some crazy shit. Let me break it down for you.
As you guys might have known; I have moved out of my previous place away from the crazy fucker that I used to live with. Yes, yes I am aware that I have not blogged about the fuckery that went on there that led to my departure. Reason is I can’t. Not cause I cannot…but because I get really pissed off whenever I tell the story. My loathing for him will never end even till my final breath. Worthless piece of shit. I now live in an off-campus student accommodation. Incidentally I now have 2 Malaysian girls as housemates. One is 25, postgrad student and this is her last sem in uni. Graduating beginning of next year. I am so jealous. The other one is a total stoner. Her room reeks of chronic. I could get high just walking past her door. But other then that, they are awesome. Postgrad likes to cook. A lot. I have only cooked twice ever since I moved in here in June. Woman print stuff off the net and cook everything. Stoner, other then being stoned half the time, have single handedly provided ample drama for me in this house. Woman have an equally stoner boyfriend with a temper. You can hear them fight almost every night cause they throw things around and then there will be silence cause they would be making out while smoking some of that shit and then later….well later you’ll hear her screams again. But different kind of screams…..If you get what I’m sayin. It’s always the same routine.
Fight. Smoke. Fuck.
I’ve gotten used to it.
So it was last Friday night and we decided that we’ll have a Scary Movie marathon in the living room. Scary Movie as in the stupid Scary Movies franchise with the stupid boob jokes and disgusting toilet scenes, not actual scary movies, mind you. By the time we finished watching the whole thing it was about 3 in the morning so I went to sleep and woke up at 7am cause I have a Career seminar at 8am Saturday morning. Fucking thing was 8 hours long from 8am to 4pm. Fucker. But I went for it cause it was free and they gave tips for resume writing, cover letters, interview tips, etc. Bla bla bla. It was boring as fuck. I went alone too cause none of my friends could be bothered to wake up that early on a Saturday morning.
Did I learn anything out of it? Barely.
Was it a total waste of time? Good God yes.
Did my ass went flat after 8 hours of sitting down? Unfortunately.
Last fucking seminar I ever went to. Came home round 4.30 and I was like “Okay, I’m gonna sleep. Fuck this shit.” Around 9pm my friend called and she’s like “We’re going clubbing tonight.” And I was like “Dude, I’m tired.” And she was like “I just broke up with-the-asshole-that-was-formerly-my-boyfriend. We’re going clubbing. I need to get drunk. I need you.” What do you say to that? Fuck man. So 11pm, Saturday night, tired and hungry I stood in line outside a club in the city. Felt like shit but at least I looked awesome in a purple dress and my 4 inch heels. Got in and forgot all about how tired I was. Just as I was going to score some free drinks from random horny dudes my phone rang and it was my other friend.
“I’m picking you up at 9.30 at your place tomorrow ya?”
“What?”
“Tomorrow CD. We’re going to a water park remember? We made plans about a week ago?”
“Oh shit.”
“Where are you? Are you clubbing? But we made plans. You promised….”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be there.
Fuck. Completely forgotten about the waterpark. Completely. Motherfucker. And then instead of doing the prudent thing and you know…go home. I ended up dancing in my 4 inch heels till they on the lights at 4 something in the morning. Talk about fucking your own self. We stumbled outside the club and we’re like okay “We need a cab. My feet hurt. Jesus!” and then someone shouted my friend’s name and it turn out it was her friend. They talked and I stood there with the rest of the group, barefooted cause my feet hurt too much and the guy was like hey “I can give you guys a ride. There’s only 4 of you. No big.” So there I was, barefooted on the sidewalk, mascara running down my face as it started drizziling a bit and I made a new friend- with a car- at daybreak. Could have been worst. He dropped me off at my place round 5 and I stumbled out of the car, into my room, into the shower and at the first blast of the shower, I tought I was going to crumpled onto the floor. I remember thinking “OMG!! I’m gonna drown! In my own shower! The irony.” But I didn’t. Did more stumbling into bed and I thought that was it.
Could have been minutes really when the phone rang. And my friend on the other line was going “Are you awake? We’re on our way to your place. Be there in 15 minutes!” Woman sounded too damn cheerful for a damn Sunday morning. I rolled out of bed, fell onto the floor- hurt like a mofo- and got dressed. Of course I could not find my swimsuit. Of course. When I need to hurry that’s when all kinds of shit go missing. But found it I did, wore it and put on a cover up and then just started throwing shit into my bag. Towel. Sunblock. Shampoo. DVD. Eh wait the fuck do I need a DVD? Honestly do not know. The next time my phone rang I was already out of front door.
Most intense Sunday morning I ever had. But I made it. I made it yo. That alone was a feat on its own. There was fucking kids everywhere at the water park. I wanted to kick them all. Fucking kids. I hate kids. At least it turn out to be fun that day. I think I might have like lost 4 kilos as well. You try climbing 8 flights of stairs carrying a big ass tube. Those things look light but they’re not bitches. They’re not. The whole day was full of standing in line, climbing flight of stairs and then hurling myself down huge ass slides and then screaming my ass off. A bit of tips ladies: When going to a water park DO NOT, under any circumstance wear a halter neck bikini top/swimsuit cause your boob will pop out coming down the slides. That’s all I have to say on that. That’s all. Fuck y’all if I’m going to say anything more on that.
We left the water park when it closes at 5pm and would you know it. I forgot to bring a change of clothes. Fabulous. So I had to wear the semi-wet cover up and instead of going home straight away, my friends just have to go for dinner. So we went and we chatted and the next thing I know it was 10ish at night. My entire body ached. I was so exhausted I wanted to die. Got home round 11pm and I didn’t even showered the second time. Got into bed still wearing my swimsuit and my hair drenched with chlorine. I never understand the saying “Tired to my bones”. After that weekend, I do. Oh good God, I do.
The on Monday…..on Monday I went to court.
Chill. It was for my Media Law class. Case study for a paper regarding defamation and libel in journalism. Fucking court case was at 8am. I had to wake up at 5ish cause I have to take 2 buses to court. What a bitch. I would love to talk more bout the case but I am not at liberty to divulge the information pertaining the case. Some ethical fuckery. What do I care. I just need the stuff for my paper. And that was the end of my crazy ass weekend.
And no, I dunno how I did it either. All I know is that my body still aches, my feet still hurts and I’m going clubbing again tomorrow night. This is indeed, the party phase of my life.
