Et tu, Tinesh?

You see, I have this term of endearment for my friends. Sunflower. I know it's weird as hell but sunflower is my favourite flower and when I really like someone, I call them Sunflower. As a term of endearment. Sunflowers are only given to the ones...well the ones that I really like who I think above all, are the family I chose for myself instead of the ones that have been dealt to me by the hands of fate. Not that I don't love my family, of course I do. I mean I have to put up with disturbing shit that they do and the harsh words they say and find it in my heart to love and cherish them still. No family that have been dealt to you by the hands of fate is internal, everlasting love. Where else, the family you chose for yourself are the ones borne out of camaraderie, understanding and most of all respect. And oh yeah, also good times, in-jokes and random moments of stupidity.....which always involves plans that at the moment seemed like a fucking genius plan but when executed is just fucking stupid and will collectively get everyone in trouble. Yes...these is what friendship is all about.











So anyways there's a couple of my sunflowers right here in the blogsphere. There's Gypsy who have been there all they way since the high school years. There's Cheesecakeerian and 3kc/ who goes to the same college as I do for the last 2 years. There's Elfie, who I've known for a short term but grown to be close with and then....there's Tinesh. I don't have that many close guy friends who are non-gay. Seeing that I'm a fag hag and all (as Peter have pointed out) but yup....Tinesh is a close guy friend. A sunflower. Well....he used to be.











Until I stripped him off the title.

Why?

He betrayed me!!!!! Traitor!!!









Omg, you guys remember that little annoying tit that I wanted to stab in the eye with a blunt pencil and then strip her naked, pour honey on her, tie her to a tree and then watch as red ants eat her alive as I cackle my evil laugh? Tweety? Do you remember her? Yup, that bitch.








He went out and party with her.








Traitor. Okay lah, fine....he was invited to a party that she was just so happened to be there. Okay lah. Fine I get it. And he didn't even danced with her on anything but still......Imagine my shock when I logged onto Facebook and then go "Hey Tinesh been tagged".....or "Look he went to a party"........."Looks fun.....hhhmmmm......eh.......Wait. A. Fucking. Minute........................WHAT THE FUCK? IS TWEETY THERE? AND TINESH? MY SUNFLOWER? FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY??!!!" Dude, I almost died.








You traitor!!! You are no longer a sunflower, I disown you. No, seriously. I disown you. You traitorous non-sunflower. Dude, how could you party with her? How do you even stand being in one room with her? Did you feel your IQ trickling out of your ears just being in my room with her? I mean......ewwwwww.............didn't you just felt her stupid disease just attacking your stupidity-immune system? I mean....dude, macha, formerly-a-sunflower....how do you even stand being in a room with her without wanting to smack her face until it bleeds? How?








In an event, you betrayed me. You are no longer a sunflower. In disown you. You are hereby strip of all special privileges that comes with being one of my sunflowers. Stripped!!! And the only way you can make up to me is if you get me a life-sized cut-out of Clive Owen so I could dry hump it. No, seriously. Life-sized cut-out. Dry hump. Failing that, teh tarik at Ali Maju followed by a session of groveling. Your choice. But if you bring your "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" series on Wednesday, I'll forgive you 1 day and half faster than I have planned.





But for now, it stands: You traitor!! I disown you.

My favourite chink..........

Disclaimer:

The following post contains a shitload of inside jokes. Some may be offensive or/and will not make sense at all. My bad.

The first time I saw you, I thought to myself "What a pretty girl." and after finishing that sentence in my head I was overcome with envy and decided right there and then to hate you. Coz you know you're just that hot. Then I saw that bigass tattoo on your back and I though "Holy crap, she's badass. Better not mess with her" so I tried to fly under your radar. Then not enough with that I decided that somehow along the way that you are a bimbo and I stare quietly at the back of your head when you sit in front of me in class with dislike. Then one day you came and sit next to me in class.

You smiled. I stared at you. You begun talking and I was shocked that you could actually form coherent sentences. But I'm more surprise that you are not a prissy bimbo the way I had you painted in my head. I was even more surprised that somewhere during that first conversation we had that I actually like you. That I actually could roll with you and suddenly the tables were turn. I am the prissy bimbo now. Not you.

And holy crap. I do like you a lot.

But I think that the time that we really bond is in that class when we both hate on that lecturer. Make incredibly lewd jokes about the size of his ass and bitch about everything and anything under the sun. Then we took all that from inside the classroom to the mamak where we continue the bitching. Damn girl those mamak sessions with condense milk coffee is the best bitching sessions I ever had. You bitching skill amazes me. Seriously. I have never had another friend who actually can bitch as well as you. You are truly my Numbero Uno bitching buddy. And yes, that is the highest compliment I could give to anyone.

And the best part of it all is that we hate all the same bitches and bimbos in college. Oh man, I truly and awfully miss those condense milk coffee days. And condense milk is the best. Fact. Then Cheesecakeerian entered the picture and then there were three of us. We upgraded from the mamak to Chilli's: 7.30pm-12am bitching session now over steak and bottomless drinks and that bayau Spanky McDestiny.

If destiny is kind, then one day I will be able to spank his ass. Until then lets just hope that day will come...................

And now you're flying off to your homeland, Germany. Its inevitable. You are after all an exchange student but I always forgets that considering the fact that you look so chinky half the time..........=p .Ahahahahahahahaha!! You can't kick my ass for that bitch, you're already out of Malaysia by the time you read this. But nonetheless you are an exchange student. And you need to go home. And with you gone I realise that:

a) I'm losing my Numbero Uno Bitching Buddy.

b) You are my favourite chink....I mean quarter-chink in the whole wide world.

c) Ghendut - the GOLDEN HAMSTER- and I, the Constantly Dramatic One adores you.

I'll miss you Fie. I'm sorry that I cant send you off but seriously its your fault woman. Why the hell you're flying off on a 2am flight anyways? KLIA is too damn far away. What if a Pontianak follows me on my way home? You could never tell. Maybe if you ever comes back to Malaysia we can go out again. Bitch about everything and anything under the sun. Or maybe one day if I do achieve my goal of becoming Clive Owen's mistress than he can fly me to the UK then I can take the train to Germany and meet up with you during Oktoberfest where you will get shitfaced drunk and I will hold your hair as you puke.

Whatever it is Fie, I hope that you have a safe flight. And hey at least we have Facebook and blogs for us to be in touch right? That should do until I become Clive Owen's mistress. And oh yeah, any time I go to the mamak again, I'll order two condense milk coffees. One for me and one in your honour. I'm drinking it for you.....Okay not really. I just need my caffeine kick and I just wanna drink two cups of coffee but its completely cool if I use your name right?

And remember........ May, there's a little chink in everyone. More so in you. That's a joke. Coz it was funny. Now laugh.

Ha. Ha.

You look so chinky in this light May =p