Cutting it close

I gave my 2 weeks notice yesterday.

 

I’m moving out of this shithole in 6 days.

 

I have no boxes. No movers. No car. No new address to move to.

 

 

My final exam starts on Thursday the 18^th, finishes on the Saturday the 20^th, my moving date is Monday the 22^nd and flying back to Malaysia, 11am flight on Tuesday….the 23^rd.

 

 

No exact plan. And yet I have never been happiest in my entire time that I have been in Aussie.

Finally I will be moving out of this shit house, away from the definitive embodiment of an asshole that is my creepy as fuck housemate. The shit I have to endure in this house is unbelievable. And chill, I will go into explicit detailing of the fuckery that is living in this house under his villainous reign as soon as I am out.

 

 

My things are going to be sent to my friend’s place. She has her own house so I’m gonna store everything at the garage and hope to God that rats don’t get to it. Even so, rats are much better then living here. I loathe living here. I cannot even begin to explain the extent of my despise of living in this shithole. And part of me cannot stop blaming my parents who made me stay here. It was their choice and yet I’m the one that had to endure 4 months of creepy fuckery. Wasn’t even my motherfucking choice and I was the one that had to sleep with a fucking knife under my pillow cause there’s no lock on the door and my housemate is a creepy, stalking fucktard. I’m the one that has to engage in a yelling, sarcastic, snide fights day in and day out. How easy they were bought in by his “Good boy” play and how bullshit it is that I have to pay for their naivety.

 

 

Parents don’t know shit. And it’s always the kids that have to pay for the wrongs they did.

 

 

But I don’t want to talk about it now. Too much quite, burning hatred is not good for the soul. I will though, just not now. Too much anger now.

 

 

However the reason why I am cutting it close with the moving and all is that I absolutely cannot, will not and I plain out refuse to go back to Malaysia, and then fly off to Finland to visits my sister and then come back to Aussie and see his fugly mug. I will be sooo fucking happy and relax and come back and see his face. I cannot deal with that shit man. I much rather be cutting it close. When I come back here again, I will start fresh. Find a new place and other housemates to bitch about. Or maybe to like too.

 

 

I dunno for sure. All I know is that I never wanna come back to this shithole.

So wish me luck with the packing and the exams. The next time I’ll blog would most probably be from Finland, where I will be staying for 20 days with my sister whom I have not seen since last Sept. That alone is enough to get me through the next 6 days with a smile on my face.

 

 

Ta.

It's.....complicated

I have so much to write about. So much. But I dunno where to begin or where to end or how much details I wanna give. But seeing that I have been gone for a while now, it’s only fair that I begin with the juiciest bit in my life right now:

 

I am dating.

 

Two guys.

 

At the same time.

 

It’s not like what you think. It’s more complicated then that okay. It’s complicated. Don’t judge! It’s not like I want it to happen, it just did. It’s like I woke up one day I realise “Oh wow….I’m dating two guys….When did that happened?” And no, they don’t know bout each other. Oh dear God in Heaven and Ceiling Cat…I hope they don’t. Ever. Never ever. You guys have no fucking idea how fucked I will be if they find out about each other.

 

Even blogging bout this is risking it.

 

Anyways it’s not like I’m exclusive with either. It’s just dating. Since when did dating become an exclusive club? Never, that’s right. Wait, is it? Fuck I dunno. I am physically and emotionally exhausted these days. Juggling two guys is not easy. I dunno how those Muslim men who have like 2 wives or more does it. I mean….wow. Impressive man. More power. You bastard.

 

So right, so one of the guys.....he’s Number One. I know him from uni. He’s geeky and sweet and adorable. He has curly hair and dimples whenever he smiles. I like him a lot. In fact he was the guy that I mentioned in my previous post, the one that I have been waiting to go out with. The thing about is that….him and me. We have been doing the whole….dance since February. That fucking long, okay. Flirting and teasing and “Oh lets meet up for coffee” thingies but not actual…..official dates.

 

I mean, he is fucking dense okay. I know he’s geeky but holy fuck…..dense! My friends told me to drop hints that I like him. And I have! Bitches, I have been dropping hints like Japanese fighter pilots drop bombs during World War 2 okay….and still Nothing!! He gives me all these indications that he does like me but….. nothing.

 

Pussy okay. Pussy.

 

 

Pissed me off. So I begun liking him round Feb, became a full grown crush sometime in late March and then when I finally could no longer drop anymore hints without coming off as fucking desperate…I gave up on him. This was like early May. I can only wait for you for so long till you realise that you like me back and grow a set.

So I was like “Fuck this shit, fuck it all.” I was tired of waiting and I am a hot blooded woman. I have needs! I cannot sit around waiting for him to like fertilize his balls and grow a pair okay.

 

 

Your loss, Geek Boy.

 

 

So this whole inner turmoil happened sometimes in May. However the moment I gave up on him romantically, my life became easier. It was like a weight has been lifted. I no longer feel nervous to call him out just to hang out or chill. When you gave up on the romantic part and decided to just become friends…..it’s easier you know.

 

So that was that. I wasn’t meant to be. Que sera sera.

 

It was about two weeks ago that I was at a house party. The music was blaring, the booze was flowing, people were getting drunk all over and I decided that it was all too much for me. So I stepped out for some fresh air. He was there. No, not Geek Boy. Number Two. He was standing alone. I smiled at him and just stood there. We kinda stood there in silence till he offered me a ciggie and I told him no thanks cause I don’t smoke. Somehow we started talking, it was good. I can hear music in the background but where we were it was relatively quiet. Well quieter.

 

Then I mentioned that I was hungry and as it happens there was this 24hours pizza place across the street…so we went there. It was about 1 in the morning. It was good conversation, good pizza and I had a good time till my friend called me completely freaking out cause I was missing from the party. I told her where I was and then as it turns out we need to leave cause someone called the cops and we need to leave before the cops get there. Some shit like that. It was about 3 in the morning. So I told him that I had to go…before I left he reached across the table, held my hand and asked me if he can see me again. On Monday. It was Saturday morning.

 

 

I said yes. Duh.

 

 

Then we had that date on Monday. It was good. I also found out that he is….as in turns out……is in the Army. I was like “Wait, I’m sorry what?” He was like “Oh yeah. I’m an officer too. But a low ranking one. Just a lieutenant, nothing big.”

 

 

……………………………………………

 

Hoooollly fuck!!!!!!!!! You guys remember my fascination with men in uniform right? Wow bitches….dreams do come true. But I was all cool and blasé outside. I was like

 

“Oh wow….the army. What an interesting line of work. What made you chose it?”

 

What I really meant was:

 

“OMG!!! PUT ON YOUR FUCKING UNIFORM NOW SO I COULD JUMP YOUR BONES RIGHT NOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MOTHERFUCKING RESTAURANT! YEAH BABY YEAH!!!!!”

 

I didn’t. But I wanted to. Oooohh how I wanted to….

 

Anyways….he was a bit of a badass. The night I met him, he had scuffles on his knuckles. When I asked him what happened, he was like “Me and my boys got into a fight with these idiots the other night. But its cool now.”

 

Hot.

 

The Lieutenant……he’s exciting you know. He’s a badass. Like he has this rough, quiet, rugged…..thing goin on. And every time we go out, he always held my hand and when he’s talking and I’m not looking at him he would tilt my chin up so that I would be looking up at him.

 

Hot sial.

 

 

It’s soooooo difficult to act unfazed and cool around him. But I have to you know. It’s too early in the game to let my guard down. Dating is a game anyways. But wah….he’s hot. Not the way he looks. He’s average looking, but the things he does…..exciting and……dangerous. In a way. I feel threatened by him. But threatened in a very......fascinating way.

 

 

If you get what I’m sayin…..

 

 

So that’s him. We had 2 dates, not including the pizza place.

 

Then last week I was having a problem with my assignment, so I called Geek Boy. I mean he is dense but he’s smart with studies. He is a geek. I was on the phone with him and I was like “Hey, how do I do question number 3. It’s rather vague and it’s such a bitch. I dunno how to go about it,” He explained it to me but I don’t get it so he was like

 

“You know what, I’ll get out of class and go to the library okay. So that I could get online and help you better with it.”

 

“Oh shit. You’re in class?! I’m so sorry. It’s cool. I’m so sorry for disturbing. You don’t have to leave class.”

 

“It’s allright. I don’t mind. For you I don’t mind.”

 

I was like….okay. What the fuck? But hey, maybe’s he being a good friend. You know…..Good. Friend. So I played it cool. Like nothing happened. Then a while later he buzzes me over MSN and helped me with the question. Like nothing out of the ordinary happened.

 

Then I asked him if our Tuesday movie thing still on. Usually on Tuesdays, Geek Boy, MiniSkirts and I go for movies together. Just hanging out. Nothing out of the ordinary. As it happens, my friends and I was also going out clubbing that night. So I asked him to join me. He can bring friends. No biggie. Then he said, and this is verbatim:

 

“No, not tonight. I’m too tired from all the assignments to go out and savour every moment with you.”

 

 

WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?!!!!!

 

 

I sat in front of the computer screen completely dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to react to that….like exactly. So I played dumb.

 

 

“Oh that sucks. Would have been nice to have you there.”

 

 

All the while, in the inside I was going “WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF?!!!!!”

 

 

And then we chatted some more, bla la bla and I mentioned how stress I am cause of the assignments and the coming exams and he said “Let’s meet up on Tuesday for that movie. And I’ll give you a hug to make it all feel better.”

 

 

Waaaaah, it was like he grew balls overnight. It was amazing.

 

 

So Tuesday came and I went to see the movie. I wasn’t sure that it was date. Cause it was rather vague, wasn’t it? And besides he wanted to watch an action movie. Who watches an action movie on the first date? Seriously. Anyways, any doubt I had disappeared when I saw him waiting for me at the cinema. Holding a single sunflower.

 

I might have mentioned to him months ago that my favourite flower is the sunflower. And that a single sunflower is so much sweeter then a whole bouquet. But I said that….like in fucking March.

 

Duuudeeeee…..He remembered dude. He remembered.

 

So we went to watch the movie and he didn’t even try to put his arm around me but we were leaning into each other. The cutest part was that, there was this one sweet moment when the hero dude kissed like this chick in the movie and since I was practically leaning against him…..I could feel his heart beating like crazy. It was sooo cute. He was nervous as fuck. And then after a while…..he moved his hand and held mine and he wouldn’t let go all throughout.

 

I was like “CD, what the fuck are you doing? What about the other dude?” But another voice is saying you know, it’s only dating. And it’s not like its exclusive. And you did like him since Feb….and then you gave up….and this shit happened.

 

So. Much. Drama.

 

Then before the date ended, he asked me when he can see me again. And he just stared at me with these eyes…..and it was like a little puppy. It was so cute. I told him Friday. Let’s meet up again on Friday. This was on Tuesday. He smiled and he said “Good, cause I wasted too much time already.”

 

Geek Boy has got all the lines bitches. All the lines.

 

 

Then when I got home, The Lieutenant called.

 

 

“I want to see you again. Are you free on Friday?”….and I said. “No, I made plans. Let’s make it on Thursday instead.”

 

 

I honestly do not know what I’m playing at.

No, not necessary at all.

No, I did not fell off the face of the Earth. Or died being stabbed to death in my sleep by the creepy weirdo I live with. Or lost my sanity over the workload and the crazy ass journalism assignments. Motherfucker, 2000 words essay every week is enough to make people kill okay. No, none of that. The Constantly Dramatic One is, put simply, a lousy blogger these days.

I do however wanna discuss this book that I am currently reading. A most interesting book. It’s called “Are Men Necessary?" It’s basically a men-bashing book written by a men-hating feminist, but this particular men-hating feminist; author Maureen Dowd has such a good flow of words and so witty that the book is actually entertaining. It’s the age old dilemma you know. As women get more and more successful in the workplace, do they get less successful in the love department? Do men only want women they can dominate? Can women objectify men the way men objectify women? Can women get rid of the entire male population, keeps some frozen semen for in vitro fertilizations and start a more wonderful, peaceful world where men doesn’t exists at all?

Good shit.

Of course just because I’m reading this and finding it ridiculously entertaining….and recommending it to girlfriends….doesn‘t mean that I hate men. Of course I don’t. As I have demonstrated again and again….and again. I don’t hate men. It’s just a good book okay.

And as fate has it, I had a date a couple of days ago. It was with this guy…who quite frankly I’m not really into. But he’s really keen on me. And since I am a woman, and a drama queen and I do adore the attention- I told him yes. I’ll go out with him. I wasn’t even nervous. I know this sounds mean, but to me it seems more like a………….trial date until when I actually have a proper date with this cutie who I totally have the hots for. You guys would remember him seeing that this post, was indeed bout him. But yeah. Moving on.

So we went out for a movie then of course well…dinner afterwards. The conversation was going well. I was charming. He was nervous. Ball’s totally in my court. At the back of my mind though I feel bad for him cause well. I’m just not into him. I’m holding out for that other guy. But hey a date never hurts anyone right?

Right.

Until the topic turned into books. And he excitedly went on and on about this book that he is currently reading and I was like “OMG! Me too! I’m reading a good book too.” It did not occurred to me that books with the title “Are Men Necessary?” is really not a good choice of conversation topic on a first date.

Ever been a train wreck? I have. Cause I’m the dumbass who admits to reading “Are Men Necessary?” on the first date with a man. If I am on a lesbian date- this would totally score me points. With a man, not so much.

It wasn’t until the words were out of my mouth did I realize what I’ve just done. He was like “Uhhh….why are you reading that? Do you hate men?” Shit man, talk about such a puny fragile ego. The rest of the date was bad. It was just so bad. He wanted to know all about the book, I have to promised him 3 times that “No, I am not a lesbian and no I don’t hate you just cause you have a penis.” And no matter what we talked about after that, it kept on going back to the book and why I am reading it. He wouldn’t believe when I say it was just for kicks. The fuck.

Seriously. Seriously. Chill the fuck out. Omg, it’s just a book. Are men’s egos so fragile that they are threatened by such a little thing like this? It’s not like I told him “No I will not have sex with you cause you do not come up to the standard of a real man in my mind. And that’s Clive Owen and you look nothing like that.” He would probably kill himself if I did say that. It was safe to say that the date was a disaster. Bruised ego on the first date was never pretty.

And no, he never called back.

Men such as him, with such puny egos, are indeed not necessary.

This shit is all kinds of creepy

It seems Drama Lovers that my life has now entered a brand new realm of fucked up. It has come to my attention that the aforementioned housemate has found my Facebook account. 

I have a mind that this housemate have been stalking me online. I should have known better seeing that such a person who is devoid of social skills should find refuge in the Interwebs.

After a complete freaking out episode- with no help from Farid, I might add- I have decided all the bitchings of my dwellings would be put on temporary hiatus. The bitchings. Not the postings here.

However, I am left shaken by this revelation and I am looking into another place to live in even as I am typing this. Hopefully I will be able to move out as soon as the term is over.

Russian whores, anyone?

Anybody knows where to get cheap whores in Aussie?

No, seriously.

Cheap whores. I have been looking online but they’re kinda out of my price range. I need one for Mr. Clean. After a short discussion with friends, I have come to the conclusion that the reason why he is such a mothefucking pain in my ass with his extreme control issues is cause he is not getting laid.

Dude needs to get laid. Like desperately. And soon. Cause he is irritating me like fuck. The other day he walked into the kitchen while I was making potato soup and I had an almost uncontrollable urge to whack him over the head with the ladle. I even have the whole thing played out in my head. I would whack him with the ladle and when he goes “CD! What the hell did you that for?!!” in his country hick Aussie accent, I will let out a demented laugh and whack him again. Just for kicks.

He once told me that he thinks Russian chicks are hot. Seriously, exact words:

“Russian chicks are hot!”

Fucker said that when I was drinking okay. I almost choked to death. However now that we have narrow it down to the fact that he thinks “Russian chicks are hot”, it makes my search even more difficult. I mean where the fuck am I supposed to find Russian whores in Aussie now?

Honestly people, where?!!

I cannot stand living here okay. I mean don’t get me wrong I like it here. It’s walking distance to Woolies, the library, groceries stores, a pharmacy and hair saloons. It’s great. It’s very convenient for me. But lately I have been walking in straight between Mr. Clean and Dissapeara arguing. Do you know how awkward it is to walk in into 2 people arguing with each other? You try to be inconspicuous but you can’t cause you’re holding 2 bags of groceries and you need to put all the wet stuff away as soon as possible. So I was there in the kitchen as they go at it in the living room.

Awkward.

That’s the first time, the second time I was in the kitchen fixing myself a sandwich when Mr. Clean came down for a drink. Then Dissapeara came home from work. Then they started arguing again. And this time I was literally in the middle. Them bitches were at either side of me. I mean, seriously. What the fuck? Are you people fucking kidding me?

I think these 2 bitches just need go ahead and fuck each other and get it over with. Just fuck already. There is a sexual tension in this house and my parents have walked me right into it by making me stay here. 

Uhhh hey guys....can you guys take that somewhere else? Kthxbai.

They argue cause they can’t fuck each other. I’m hoping that they just would cause that would give me peace of mind. But then you know….God if they do start fucking each other then it would be so awkward for me. What if they do it on the couch? Eeeewwww…then I cannot sit there and watch TV anymore.

Not there you bastards!!!!

So that bring us back to the Russian whore. Where do I get one? I’ll take her home with me. “Hey Chris! Look a Russian chick…..you like? You liiiiiike?” If he asked I can just say that I stumbled on her when I was wondering in some dodgy back alley without any sense of purpose. Innocent mistake…..happens to everyone.

So if any of you know where to get a Russian whore in Aussie- hit me up. I need to get him laid before I start having thoughts of whacking him with my giant loofah instead.