The following post was originally posted sometime in 2007. For some reason or another I deleted it but kept a copy around. So now I'm reposting it cause I think its funny and for the love of that all that is pure and true, I dunno why I deleted it the first time.
Let's talk about fucked up cosmic jokes shall we?
Once upon a time, God was frolicking around in the BIG HUGE galaxy, doing His usual Godly things when- all of a sudden!! - He got bored.
"Now, now" He thinks ,"this is a problem.Must think to self, what can I do to amuse my Godly self?"
So He thought and thought to Himself and then......
"Why don't I kill people randomly for the sake of it?"
But then HE remembers Hurricane Katrina that he evoked and well, that did killed a lot of people and because of that he got his work cut up for him. And God doesn't like to work all that much...redemption and sins and all that is just too much work and well...this is a well kept secret but God is a huge procrastinator and most of them who died?...Well they're stuck in limbo cause God just haven't got around to judge them yet. His bad.
So he thinks again.
"What? What can I do to amuse myself?.....What about if I solve the entire world conflict and finally the humans can have their so desired 'World Peace'?"
And then God remembers something. The beauty pageants. And how fond the contestant of saying World Peace and No, No. He can't take that away from them. What better thing there is to wish for if not World Peace? No. The problems and the conflicts of the world will remain unsolved so that beauty queens can wish and hope and yearns for World Peace.
"So what now? What can I do to amuse Myself? Wait what's that, that little country over there? That's Malaysia. And that's that chick CD. Hmmm...her life isn't complicated enough. Why don't I throw in some guy from her past to her current college? Whom she doesn't like so that guy could go ahead and leeched on to her friends and ruin her reputation? Yeah why I just go ahead and do that? This should give me a real good kick."
So he then guided the said 'guy' from my past and enrolled him into my college and forever ruining my reputation.
And that boys and girls, is the story of a fucked up cosmic joke God is playing on me.
The guy did not ruin my reputation. This was just me being dramatic. But then I was and still is giving him a total bitch treatment and we barely talk so I guess that's why.