Monday, January 19, 2009

The Universe is teaching me a lesson by making me homeless

You guys….I think I’m gonna be homeless when I reach Australia. No, I’m completely serious. Homeless bitches, homeless! That’s why I can’t blog for the past few days cause I’ve been worried sick of my impending hobo status.

The university that I’m going to is supposed to provide accommodation for me. I put in the application late October, they emailed me mid-Nov saying that my form has been received and ever since then I haven’t heard a thing. Bitches, I’m flying off early February….and today is already January 19th. 19!!!!! I’m worried sick okay. I mean, I don’t have a plan B. It’s not like if I don’t live on-campus, I can get something off-campus just like that. What the fuck? The flight tickets been paid for, my things are almost sorted (I’m still debating the shoes thing), my parents is throwing a kenduri doa selamat for me next week and I don’t have a room!!!!

What bullshit is this?

You know I’ve emailed them twice in regards of the room. I don’t mind if they don’t give me a fucking room but for the love of all that is pure and true, just tell already whether or not I get it therefore if I don’t- I can start looking in for off-campus accommodation. What if I find an off-campus place and pay the deposit and those assholes over at the uni mailed me saying that I do get a room. Like wtf? Isn’t that a waste of money? Paid deposit for both places but I can only live at one. I am not made of money people. I do not shit diamonds okay. I don’t make 50k a month that I can throw money around just like that. I’m unemployed!

Them assholes are screwing with me.You know….I don’t mind if they just come out straight and send me an email somewhere along these lines:

Dear Ms. Drama,

Though we are glad that you have chosen our university to further your education and we dooooo love getting your father’s hard-earned money, we are afraid we won’t be able to let you live on-campus. Now we don’t want you to misunderstood that this means we like your money any less, it’s just that our rooms are small and we can’t find one that can fit your humongous ass.....shapely behind. The thing is Ms. Drama, we’re sure that somehow your…..shapely behind will not be able to fit through the door frame. We here hope that you do not take this personally.

It’s not us; it’s your giant ass.

Yours sincerely,

Dipshit McGee

Manager of Accommodations, UNIVERSITY OF FUCKERY

Although if they do send me this email, I will sue them bastards. Discrimination against people with giant asses is not openly talk about but it exists. Trust me, I know. But really, I’m for real here. I’m worried as fuck. I dunno about you guys but I am accustomed to having a roof over my head. What if I go there and I have to live by a dumpster or something? I’m taking my golden hamster with me. What if he meet the rats at the dumpster, join their gang and become wild? What then?!!! I will fail as a mother then cause my baby join a gang! I cannot have that. I will not let society judge my motherly skills. I will not.

But back to this homeless issue. I’m worried. Now I know there’s that saying…. “Worry will not add another minute to your life.” Yes, I know that. But the point is you’re not the one that’s going to be homeless. I am. Or have your precious golden hamster joining a gang of rats and terrorizing the whole neighbourhood while you sit by the dumpster worrying sick that your baby ain’t home yet while trying to write a 10,000 word paper due tomorrow at 8am. Stop smirking. This is a possible case scenario.

I also believe this-not-getting-a-room fuckery is karma. The universe is screwing with me cause I haven’t been pulling my weight at home. I’m such a bitch these days. Like I don’t make up my own bed or clean the table after dinner anymore and when my mom yells at me I go “Why are you yelling at me? I’m leaving soon and still you’re yelling at me?” and then I make this super sad face, like I-can’t-believe-you’re-yelling-at-me-when-I-am-leaving-soon-Don’t-you-love-me? Then she let me slide and I don’t have to do chores. After that I run into my room and laugh my evil Mojo Jojo laugh cause I don’t have to do the dishes. Reverse psychology is your friend…or so I thought. Until this room thing come about and everything makes sense. Karma.

Reverse psychology your parents + get out of washing the dishes = Homeless in Australia.

It makes total sense when you can get your head around it.....

The Constantly Dramatic One in a couple of months time...


JD Cole said...

owh my gawd!!

why am i panicking too??

which part of aussie r u going my dear? if u're in the area where racism is in the air....without a room, u'll be sitting duck!!

Zikri said...

can't you call them?

you could live as a backpacker for the first week or two, that would be cool XD

Anne said...

oh noes! i has a sneaky suspicion your application didn't get thru.. if you had a room they'd email you the conformation by now no? maybe you should start looking for outside accommodation.

pls dont sleep on the streets. them hobo's might like you so much they'll cut u up and use your shapely behind as pillows!! :( i heard they be dangerousss..

Femme Star said...

OMG by the end of the post all I could do was laugh. Especially when I saw the pic of the homeless person on a park bench. But seriously, call those bitches and just keep calling until you get that room. Good luck and I hope you don't end up homeless.

ロザリザ said...

call them up senang sikit cerita.

plan B, look online for any clive owen look alikes who reside in your area. pastuh tanya BANG NAK TUMPANG RUMAH BOLEH BANG?

Technodoll said...

I'd get on the phone to them presto pronto and find out WTF is happening - dial! now!

*sends CD good luck karma joojoo*

rujing said...

but on the plus side, you're COMING TO AUSTRALIA! hurrah! hope you like it! what part are you going to? where's your university.
also, accomadation is relatively easy to find, shared accomodation or what not - that's referring to permanent accomadation.
but if you're looking for cheap/temporary accomadation, try a hostel. they're about 25 a night and they're relatively safe and clean... unfortunately, i'm not speaking from experience, but i have friends who say it's cool.
so you could crash there until the uni sorts our your shit.
hope everything works out for you!

turtle said...

chill...they're priority when it comes to housing would be international students...maybe they're taking their time coz i think its summer break for them right now over there...maybe the person you're corresponding with is on leave!

but like someone already mentioned, give them a call..

ps...miss you!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

JD Cole:

I know right! But I rather not talk about which part I am heading to. I have issues with being stalked =S


Actually now that I think about would be cool.


I know kan? But I would prefer a confirmation....=S

Femme Star:

Good God, I hope I don't end up homeless too. Thanks for visiting and I'm glad that you liked the post =)

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Oooouu I like your Plan B better. HAHAHA!!! Kalau tanya nak tumpang katil skali leh tak? =P

(Ni dah miang tahap gaban dah ni....)


Oooouuu thanks for the much needed joojoo!


Oh man, I don't want to be specific. I have like this insane phobia of being stalked but I shall email the answers to your Qs to you. And really? God, thats makes me feel better then.

Right from the mouth of an Aussie =)


I feel better now that you mentioned it. I mean, you did lived there before. But yes I will call them. I miss you too babe =(

Jamie said...

Oy ve. They should have gotten back to you, no matter what. I hope you are not homeless, that would really suck.

Although, I'm not sure it snows in Australia, so you might at least be warm while you're sleeping under bridges...

I'm sorry, this probably isn't funny yet, is it?

Frank said...

I'm about to graduate from the University of Fuckery!

faye said...

Call ! Pester ! Call ! Pester!! At least thats what I had to do :)

Don't worry, Ghendut has too much common sense to join the ratpack :)

taxy said...

Chill, girl. The universities there will make sure you have a roof over your head, even if they have to put you up in a hotel for the first couple of weeks until they find you proper accomodations. Look on the bright side at least... it doesn't snow in Australia and its summer there now. Will be freakin' hot hot hot!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...




Congrats! to the real world now huh? Good luck!


I dunno Faye....peer pressure is powerful you know. My Ghendut in a ratpack! Oh my heart Faye! My heart!!



That's true....but still.......fucking bitches should have gotten back to me already....=S

Cheryl said...

HAHAHA you're hilarious. I'm always worrying about shit like this, but if you don't have university accommodation, then you should look for an apartment to rent. It'll be cheaper anyway

Michelle said...

"What if I go there and I have to live by a dumpster or something? I’m taking my golden hamster with me. What if he meet the rats at the dumpster, join their gang and become wild? What then?!!! I will fail as a mother then cause my baby join a gang! I cannot have that. I will not let society judge my motherly skills. I will not."

OMG...that is FUNNY SHIT! Don't worry, I didn't have a room my freshman year in college. They threw all the homeless people together somewhere and eventually found a place for everyone.

Australia huh? Sounds great!

senorita.. said...

wow, this sucks. n yeah, like Faye said, bug their asses off! hope it turns out alrite n u get a nice room.

Anonymous said...

Haha. You poor thing.
Yeah, the best thing to do would be to call, cause most of them are still on Christmas-New Year break & usually come back in the 1st week of February.

Just call them up( those few sad people who are still working) & tell them your situation.
& tell them to get back to you pronto! (or call you back in M'sia. HAHAHA)
Or, ya know, in the worst case scenario, pack a tent & camp on their lawn when you go over & use 'em free showers & cook tops :)

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Why thank you, I do strive to be entertaining =) Maaaaan....shit like this really needed to be worrying about. I don't want to be homeless! =S


Where exactly did they threw you guys....? =S


I KNOW!!! I'm freaking out here! And yeah, I bought an I*Talk card, gonna call them tomorrow. I cannot tahan anymore. The suspense is killing me.


What the hell? How long of a break do they need? Why are this people screwing with me? The live of a golden hamster is at stake here! What are these people playing at?


But yeah- WILL. CALL.

evie said...

you've had enough sensible advice so i'm gonna skip that. but until you do get a confirmation, don't bring all your shoes! i know that's obvious but just in case you're panicking so much this might've slipped your mind... i feel it's my duty to remind you. in fact, you can keep the shoes at my place in the meantime :p

pattirmina said... thing i learn from this post; never ever do a reverse psycho on the parents. never.

i hope everything works well for u a.s.a.p as you are leaving very soon.

Tinesh said...

I think these Aussie flers are having summer break like turtle (maaaan i miss you :( ) said. You do know their winter and summer shit is messed up rite?

But yea, call em. Owh and IF things end up shitty for me (like my dad not wanting to pay for my 2nd year, I might just end up in Aussie), then we both can be hobos togeder geder. But of coz I'll be an alcoholic hobo :D

Brandy Rose said...

Dipshit McGee, must be a common name, I've known a few in my life...

Michelle said...

They put 4 girls in one big room with cots or something like that. I think it was actually used as the floor lounge in the dormitory. I ran into a girl from my high school whose roommate decided to go to another school, so I moved in with her. I never had to stay in "temp housing". As they found space they assigned everyone a room.

Ania said...

Never fear! I was in the same situation last year. My beloved university hadn't bothered to let me know if I got a place to live until much later than everyone else. Don't worry. Bridges provide nice shelter. But really. You'll be okay. Have fun in Australia!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

i dont mind staying out, but only if the Uni is like a stone's throw away from bondi beach.

MisSmall said...

Haha. There's no need to be overly dramatic, hun. Oh wait, it's you we're talking about. :P

Seriously, don't worry too much. There are plenty of temporary accommodation available, where you can stay (with a fee, of course) till you have it sorted out. Try contacting the international student union, they should be able to help. There should also be a housing union in the university? If they can offer any permanent solution, at least they'll be able to put you up some place first.

Also, other international students are usually really friendly and more than willing to help out newbies. So relax and try to enjoy the whole experience. Oh I miss being a freshman. :)

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Woman, you can try. Oh yeah...that you can but you can never get my shoes. Neeeeevvvvvvaaahh!!! =p


I hope it does too. I'm getting a stroke waiting for it here.


Before that, we have to figure out where to lay your drunk hobo-ass first okay. This time around, there's no sink to puke in....*wink wink nudge*

I miss Turtle too *sadness*

Brandy Rose:

You too huh? These fuckers just won't die.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Oh. Lucky you. I shall give updated reports of living by the dumpster. As a hobo. When I get there.



Oh yeah, I've been told bout that. You know....I think I shall moved away from living next to a dumpster to under a bridge. I can make a fire and still be sheltered.

What's not to love eh? =p


Holy crap. Never thought of that. =O


The irony of it is that I'm not coming in as a freshman. Life's strange like that. Did you study in Aussie as well?

MisSmall said...

Any newcomers should be welcomed and taken care of, freshman or not, by the international student committee. I should know, I was the PR officer of the one in my uni. And yes, I'm an Oz grad. :)

juraiza said...

just call up some friends who already over there, and ask if you could just crash a few days?

Fieran said...

Hey :) Calm down. Give them a call. There are always other options. Sometimes you can stay on campus for first 2 weeks (normally if you go early they are nice to you) and then find a place after that. Just ask them, should be fine.

Tinesh said...

heeeeyyyyy, you stole my "find a place t lay your dunk ass" line. And I dont need a sink k? That was Cheesecakarian's sister if you remember

winda said...

and i'm talking about you!
you said you gonna go hiatus and i'm all sad and depressed and not checking your blog but then, voila, whaddya know, a new post and 32 comments already!!!
Me is so angry..

anyway, if the uni happen to be in melbourne, i probably can help with the housing and stuff. The school i worked in affiliates with a uni in melb.

If not, just go pester that unlucky lady behind the phone ;)

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Oh, that makes me feel better. =)


I dunno anyone there. I specifically chose a uni where I do not know anyone. I think there's no point studying overseas if you just wanna hang out with your own kind.

However, the irony of it is that I'm going to Aussie. And that's like perkampungan Malaysia over there.


Thanks babes =) But oh yeah, I'm looking into off-campus accommodation now.


Fucker. That line is your line and I used it as a homage to you lah. It's not stealing if it's homage. I'm paying you respect. Like the Godfather. Only you're like the slutty, skinny Indian version of it =p


I didn't say hiatus lah. I said "less postings". Go check again. Chech. Free of charge I got called a bitch. Hahaha!

And woman, RSS feed me lah. Easier for you to know that I have updated or not and regarding the accoms thing....I get in touch with your through mail. ;-)

winda said...

rss feed?
i like it better to go check your blog myself. Suspense, you know. So i can ask myself, "hhmm... what will cd write today..??"
make sense?? hope so :P