Monday, February 16, 2009

And hence....this became my dwelling

Hey ya!


Before anything else let me point out that Australian summer is hot like a motherfucker. Malaysia is hot and humid all year round but the sun doesn’t stings your skin. Here it does. And it burns bitches, it burns. But it’s okay cause I have always been obsessive in regards with putting on sunblock before leaving the house even back home so it’s all good. I haven’t got a hat but I walk around with the umbrella plus autumn is just round the corner. So yeah, that should be fine.


Seeing that I have been making so much drama in regards with the accommodations, it’s only fair that I should talk about it more. I decided not to go with the list of off-campus accommodations that the uni provided me cause it’s expensive as fuck. I found these sites though:

Back in Malaysia I utilize all these sites, but before that I Google Earth the shit out of my campus and I found the 5 main suburbs that surround the campus. From there I shortlisted it to within 5-10km walking distance from the campus. Then I keyed in the main postcode of the areas and from that I shortlisted the number of available accommodations for me. For about 3 days I sent out about 100 housing enquires; within the next 4 days I received about 50 something replies. Then I begun asking for photos and see what the best deal was for me. From that 50 something of replies, I shortlisted it down to 4 rooms that are within my budget and that is relatively near to campus.


Yeah I know right….some crazyass CSI shit.


So that’s how I found my room. And that’s why towards the day that I was leaving Malaysia I wasn’t blogging much cause I was busy writing email enquiries and setting up room inspections schedule. Also I did not come to Aussie on the 8th alone. My parents and brother came with me. I didn’t mention that on the blog cause putting shit like “Oh my family will be coming with me to Aussie woo hoo!” is fucking insane. I’m paranoid as hell man. That’s telling the whole world that my house is empty and like “Oh, please come and rob us while we’re sending off our lastborn to Aussie.” Everytime I see that kind of shit on other people’s blog it made me cringe. People people, there is something as “sharing” and there is such as thing as “asking for it.”


Think about it.


We got here on the 8th and the next day itself we went to check out the rooms. Let me just point out that Google Maps is a gift from the Gods of Mount Olympus cause seriously bitches, seriously, it made finding the houses much easier. The first house was my first choice. It’s actually a manor and it has 7 rooms. But I wanted the main bedroom that has a bathroom with a Jacuzzi bathtub in it. It’s awesome cause I don’t want to share a bathroom with like 10 other strangers. The house has already have a French couple living together in one of the rooms, a Singaporean girl, and Indian guy (from India, not Malaysia), and 2 other Australians dudes. So I should be the last one in.


I swear to God the moment I stepped into the house, I can already feel it. The party vibe. Like you can feel that this is where it’s gonna go down, this is where the magic happens, this is where numerous drunken escapades will go down in the history of mankind. This is where it’s at.



Unfortunately, my parents could sense the same damn thing.


Urrrghhh so that one is a no go. Which is such a waste cause one of the Aussie dude that lives in that house is a surfer and likes to walk around….shirtless….ahem. I mean…. I’m just saying. Not that some hot surfer dude walking around shirtless with a washboard abs you could spread whipped cream on effects my decisions making process. Of course not. I am a matured, responsible, 20something that is completely focused on studying and completing my international degree. I just think that it would be interesting to live in a house that is such a melting pot of cultures. Plus, you know….it’s not like there’s anything wrong with keeping a dozen bottles of whipped cream at the back of my closet. It’s completely normal.


No hidden agenda whatsoever. None.


Riiigghtt….moving on.


The 2nd house was on a street quiet. It’s small, only 3 people could live in it at any given time. It’s very clean cause they have a duty roster and shit. The head tenant is an Australian and a law student from my uni and the other housemate is a Zimbabwean girl that just recently graduated, also from my uni. It’s very quiet but it’s quite strategically located about 10 mins walk from Target, hairdressers, post office and whatnot. There’s a direct bus to the main shopping centre too. The only thing is that there are not direct buses to uni. I have to change buses. It’s not far from uni, it’s just that…there’s no direct bus. Much easier if I have a car.


The head tenant, let’s call him Mr. Clean was talking to my parents and he dropped lines that’s sounded like this “My main priority is to study.”, “This is not a party house.”, “I don’t drink and smoke and I don’t want to live with people who do either and that’s why I was attracted to your daughter’s profile” and bla fucking bla. By the end of it I could see that my parents just fucking love him and that I am completely fucked.


In the car going to the third house they were all “Yeah, I like Mr. Clean. He’ll make sure that she studies. Bla bla bla” and I was like “Calm down people, 2 more houses to go.”


The third house, well the third house was incredibly funny. Now before anything else please remember that I am Muslim. Not particularly a good one, but one nonetheless. My mother on the other hand is pretty religious. I knew the moment I stepped out of the car that there’s no chance in hell I’m gonna live in this house cause the landlord was waiting for me with a bottle of cold beer. And then she’s like oh “Have a cold one while we go have a look at your room.” My mom’s eyes almost popped out when she saw the landlord lady handing me the bottle. I almost couldn’t stop laughing right there and then. The place was nice and I love the fact that there are actual vintage pinup girls on the wall, one of the main attractions by the way. But the kicker was she proudly told me- right in front of my parents- that there will always be free beer on weekends cause she would like to get to know her tenants over beer.


Oh you guys should have seen the look on my parents’ face. It was priceless. I will never forget it until the day I die. So I thank her for her hospitality and left. I don’t even have to discuss it with my family. I know there is no chance in hell of me getting to live there. But it was fucking hilarious. My mom’s eyes were popping out so much I was a lil afraid that her eyeballs would just popped out of the sockets.


The last house was nice, the room has a nice view towards the city and it’s also conveniently located as well. I kinda was digging it. Then the real estate agent told me that there are 6 rooms in the house and that all 5 are already occupied… men. So I would be the only girl. Just to make sure, I asked if there any surfers living in the house and he said no. Then I asked if there are any volunteer firemen….and he stared at me. So I took that as a no and politely decline on the basis that I would not be comfortable with living in a house with 5 men that are neither hot firemen nor hot surfer dude.


Priorities. I haz dem.


So you guessed it. I’m living in the house with the Australian law student hereby will be known as Mr. Clean- he does clean. Aaaaalll the time. And the Zimbabwean girl who hereby will be known as Dissapeara. Cause the woman is never home. And they’re both room dwellers. Plus side, I have Foxtel (Australian satellite TV) and IP phone that cost 20 cent to Malaysia per phone call. Not per minute. Per phone call. So that my friend, is awesome. Taking two buses to uni…..not so awesome. But I’ll get used to it.


Also I believe Australians are a bunch of horny bastards, cause within walking distance from my house there are exactly 3 “adult fun stores” with discounts for
“dildos and crotchless panties.” Three y’all. That’s walking distance. Further up the road, there are 3 more so yes from that I came to the conclusion that Australians are a bunch of horny bastards. I haven’t check out the stores yet cause I haven’t the time. My family left on the 14
th and Orientation started today and on the 15th I was busy unpacking so no time. But when I do, you bet your ass I’m gonna blog about it.


Also, I wonder if they’re hiring. I wonder how my dad would react to this. “Hey Dad, I got a job. Yeah…..the cashier girl at a sex shop…….Well…’re the one who do not want to give me money…..”


Should be interesting….

This is a picture of the house I'm living in.....Okay....lies. This is some house in a Scottish National Park. I do wish I could live in it though...then I could pretend to be a hobbit....





Also thanks to the people who “followed” me. I really appreciate it. You guys can unfollow now and it would be just fine. Also thanks to the people who emailed, sorry I haven’t got the chance to reply. Shitload to do here. A whoooole lots of things but I will eventually. Also those who tagged me before I left, I would get down to that as well and finally BIG HUMUNGOUS SHOUT OUT TO TINESH who looked after Dramatic Musings while I’m gone. Thanks man!



P/S: I will visit all your blogs when I could sometime this week. Too damn busy now seeing that its Orientation Week.



Tanglebloom said...

NOOOOOOOOO! No surfer dudes or firemen! WHY!

Hmmm, maybe Mr. Clean might be hot. Anal is always hot.

Good luck on the first day of college!

If it helps, I've always thought of you as a hobbit.

Sorry you couldn't get the posh housing with the jacuzzi tub and all.

Beer lady seems nice, I'd like to party with her.

P/S I agree with you on the whip cream part.

benazirjb said...

Wow.. I think you are going to have so much fun there. Huhu. It's not ok there are no surfers.. because surfers are hot!!

take care and good luck!

Zikri said...

Mr Clean sounds like a dick
No one can be that good without being a dick.

And you'll get used to the 2 bus thing, you might even get some sleep on at least one of em.

Good luck in Australia btw

Also, pics of various naughty places pliz

JD Cole said...

OMG!! u're as funny as ever!!

anyways, i think u should be thankful to be with mr. clean...i was mr. clean back on those days :P

still remember how shocked my housemates when they return to the house one day and see it's sparkling clean.

a housemate from syria asked "u clean the house?"

i said "yeah, i'm bored so i cleaned the house"

he replied "u gay ppl r marvelous!"

yeah, they know i'm gay and btw, it's a party house so, i'm the one who'd normally do the c;leaning after each crazy party~ ;P

Didi Ooi said...

LoL... Your parents could actually uhm, sense it?!?! =|

By the way, yeah i heard my aunt who's in melbourne said it reached 47 degrees C max before the huge fire disaster... dayum...!

google earth is pretty useful somehow right? :D

Peter Varvel said...

Australians are horny bastards?
Dude . . . I need to come visit! LOL
Congratulations on the successful transition!
Your already-interesting blog is about to become even more fascinating I bet.
This post was HIGH-larious!!

sab said...

shirtless surfer guy! *drools* and free beer on weekends: wow!

but mr. clean is good too. :)

faye said...

Yaaaaaaay, you're back !!! :)

quin browne said...

they have a target?

i'm there.

RB said...

Google earth...that was ingenious.

winda said...

ouch! too bad mom and dad was there when it's 'house picking' time, no.

Just imagine what a can of whipped cream can do to a smooth, tone, flat abs of australian surfer, hhmm.....
or a house of beer with pin up girl poster can do to your inner pin-up girl, ....

anyway, hope mr. clean is so okay that he even clean for you too. You know, so you can have the chance to visit the other houses ;)

Ania said...

Since you can't have the hot surfer go to

He's a hot Marine.

You're welcome. =)

PS. Congrats on not being homeless anymore! I hope you have tons of fun in Australia.

pattirmina said...

lol, i can imagine how it was when the lady from the 3rd house hand u the cold beer.

but the 1st party house sounds sooo interesting. hehe.

ah well, good luck and have fun in orientation week.

Michelle said...

Sounds like a good situation...can't wait to read more about your exploits! Behave yourself!

evie said...

you HAVE to get a job there! it's so much cooler than waitressing. not that there's anything wrong with waitressing, but you know what i mean!

Cheryl said...

I hope you're having a fantastic time in Australia.
Mr. Clean sounds awesome.
And I've always wanted to be a hobbit.

One day..
One day.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


"Anal is always hot." *smirks*

I miss you like a bitch, you bitch.


Fun?....I dunno. I mean...I dunno anyone here. So yeah we shall see. Plus I have to maintain a GPA of 3.0 every sem or the uni will kick me out. It's an international student requirement and it sucks donkey balls. Cause the local students requirement is only 2.5.

And I came here on a CGPA of I have loads of studying in store for me. =S


He is kinda....dick-ish, I shall talk about that more in the posts to come. The bus thing...yeah I guess so....Once I get used to it.

And the pictures, yeah I'm gonna take a walk maybe this weekend and I'm planning to do just that.

JD Cole:

My house isn't a party house. It's a straight up study house. Yeah I

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Didi Ooi:

My parents have Jedi powers. I sure of that. =p

Dude, totally. It's hot like a mofo here and Google Earth is not "pretty useful". It is straight up the shit man!

That's a good thing btw....=p


Awww, thank you Peter. Yeah dude, I think they are. 7 sex shops on one stretch of road is kinda pushing it me think. Heh.


I mourn the loss of the opportunity to live with a hot surfer dude. Dammit!


Wah!! I know. But woman have to chat lah. Got so much to bitch with you about.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Indeed they do. And it's pretty near to my place too =)


Thank you =D


Nah he won't clean up for me. He will however reminds me to clean up. Meh.


Holy Mother of All that is Pure and True- that is one hot piece of ass!! How did you find him? Are there more?

I <3 u Ania. =p

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


It was awkward and hilarious at the same time. Haha!!


I will behave....if I can remember ;-p


Yeah! And I can sell people discounted dildos!! Oh the stories I can tell my grandchildren...=D


Hahaha! You are soo cute! And oh fabulous new profile pic. Loving it!

Technodoll said...

Yey! CD is back and in full dramah SWING BAYBAY!!

Looking forward to your adventures down under. I heard they make a wicked barbie ;-)

fie i damn malas to log in said...

i miss u lahhhhhhhhhhh ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i just came back from bangkok it was great!!

Frank said...

That third one sounds kind of like my place...I think it's an unspoken rule between me and my roommates that anyone who enters must drink a beer.

And as it so happens, I often walk around shirtless and spread whipped cream on myself just for the hell of it ;)

Tine said...

I live a few doors away from an adult store too :p

20 cents per phone call???????????? What where how???

Buzz me when you're here for a visit, yeah? I promise I won't hand you a beer :P

Anonymous said...

At least you're in the majority there are more Malaysian students in Melbourne than any Australian ones.

Australian students are not generally threatened by their parents to achieve because if they do so (the parents, that is)they're usually disowned (by their children.)

It's not up to the parents to decide now's your big chance to develop yourself away from the stifling pressures of home.

Fieran said...

Hey CD :) Glad to hear that all is well. Yes, Australian people are really 'open' about things like that. Hey, there's a Hooters right in the middle of the CBD, what else do you expect? ;)

Take care and good luck,

rujing said...

You wont believe it but when i got your comment about you coming to australia i whooped aloud in front of my computer! I'm so happy for you dude! I'm totaally bummed to hear you have to stay with mr clean though, the first house sounded awesome (so did the beer lady!!). com'on - it was a friggin mansion. with HOT GUYS. you should soooo move there now that your parents are home. they wont know...
and yeh, the sex shops are a part of the culture, i guess. i have 1 in walking distance to my house. i think it's city council regulation, to have one in every suburb - like a telephone box or something.

anyway, i'm glad you made it here okay with no real dramas ;P


the Constantly Dramatic One said...


I haven't the chance of tasting their wicked barbie but when I do, I would let you know =D


I miss you too. *sadness*


OMG Frank! The mental image! Hahahaha!! =D


Well the landlord got some sort of internet phone line thingie. I don't really know but I am gonna ask him more about it. And totally, once I'm all settle down and know people I would give you a call.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...


Really, there are? I do not know that. But I guess Aussie is overpopulated with Malaysians. And Kiwis. And Fijians....=D


There's a Hooters?!1! I need to check that out! =P


OMG!! That's hillarious!!! Hahahaha phone boxes and sex shops! No my friend, I think there are more sex shops then there are phone boxes. Haha!

Hey once I'm all settled down we should meet up or something. Just let me make some friends first over here =)