I remember my first crush.
I was 5 years old and he was a prince. No totally, he was. His name was Eric and he was this 2-dimesional character from Disney’s the Little Mermaid. See, I did not know that it was a crush at that point. I just liked looking at him. It wasn’t years down the road did I realise that it was indeed a crush. My first crush. And on a cartoon character no less.
The second crush I had was on this boy from kindergarten. My playdate. I thought it was a crush…and I’m pretty sure it was. Nothing happened though. Cause well, we were kids. However years down the road when were both 13….we did ended up dating for a bit. Til his dad got relocated overseas and that was that.
Forwarded years down the road, the awkward teenage years and there was another boy. A cute boy. Man, I totally had a crush on him and my crush was the source of amusement for all my friends. I remember that in the beginning, I was totally into him and then somewhere along the way I got over him and then he turned into a huge joke. Well not him, but the idea of him and I kept pursuing him cause it was funny. Cause my friends and I wanted a laugh. We scared the poor boy half to death. I wonder what happened to him.
And then there was of course these other boys that were cute, that I liked but just because I was bored. Made no impact on me, just one of those things that you do. Clive Owen does not enter this conversation cause he is not real. We are talking bout actual guys here. Flesh and blood instead of…well my sordid fantasies of a
Till I get here. And met him. And now it’s back to the embarrassing school girl crush I’ve thought I have left behind so long ago. I’m too old for this shit. I’m here to study. I have to focus. Soldier on. That fuckery.