Firemen and zombies...Oh my!

For the last 3 days I have been obsessively going through youTube searching for.........me. First I searched for "Since You've Been Gone" and then I realised....how the hell would white-Honda Jazz-fuckface knows that I was rocking out to that song? I mean, does that fucker have supersonic hearing or something?



So I searched for "traffic jam singing" and have go through like a shitload of videos of people who videotaped themselves singing in cars during traffic jams. I felt somehow better watching these videos because clearly, I am not the only idiot who throw "concerts" during traffic jams. Then I went on to be more specific, throwing in words like "Malaysian traffic jam", "crazy girl in car", "fat crazy girl in car", "stupid idiot in car singing" and then when all else fail I typed in "ossum singing girl traffic jam".........and lo and behold...... I found nothing!



This is bullshit.


This is when my brother buzzed me over MSN.......




"Adik tau tak ada movie zombie baru?"
*Do you know there's a new zombie movie out?




"Meh, apsal lak Adik nak tengok citer zombie?"
*Meh, why would I want to watch a zombie movie now?




"Bukan hari tu adik hantar link calendar zombie kat Abang ke?"
*Did you not sent me zombie calendar link the other day?




"Excuse me, I sent you that cause they are Pinups Zombies. Not just any zombies."





"What's the difference?"





"Pinup zombies maksud nyer lagi cantik lah. Pinup zombies! Pinup zombies....Am I getting through to you?"
*It means that since they are zombie pinups...therefore they are prettier than your average zombies.




"Abang rasa gambar pinup yang ko suka sangat tu nampak macam sluts jer."
*I think those pinup girls that you like so much look like sluts.




"..........................................Why are you intentionally hurting me?"





"Cause I can. You're too easy. Never a challenge to pissed you off when we were kids."





"Adik tak nak chat ngan Abang lagi. Nak merajuk. Goodbye."
*I don't wanna chat with you anymore. I want to sulk. Goodbye.




"Poyoh!!! Tengok link ni! Best! Tajuk dia "Quarantine"."
*Big baby! Check out this link. It's the best! It's called "Quarantine".




"Fine, I'll humour you. But this is just because we are related by blood. Not because I harbor any affections for you. I want you to know that so that you won't be confused or anything."

"When did my little sister got to be so bitchy? Oh wait, I know. The day you were born right?"

My brother is a he-bitch but that's a given cause I think bitchiness is like a family trait or something. I watched his stupid link anyways. The supposedly "best" zombie movie ever. Looks like crap until the 0:51 mark.

Holy Mother of God!!!!! Is that a fireman at 0:51? Wait, wait....there are several firemen. Dude.....this movie just been elevated from "crap" to "OSSUM" in my book. So then I abandoned my brother on MSN and went in search of more "Quarantine" related videos and I found more trailers. With more firemen in it !!!!!! This one especially.

Firemen!!!! Everywhere. Okay fine, I noticed there are zombies too. But fuck it! Firemen! OMG!!!! I'm soooo horny excited now I cannot even think straight. Here's a synopsis of the movie:

"Television reporter Angela Vidal and her cameraman are assigned to spend the night shift with a Los Angeles Fire Station..........."

What comes after "Los Angeles Fire Station" in that synopsis is really not important. I don't really give a fuck. But if there's "Fire Station" involved that means it would involve a lot of men running around in those orange uniforms.....with the hats right? Holy crap!!!!!!!!!! This is like...........a dream come true. Minus the zombies of course. Wait wait.......apparently this movie is a remake of a successful Spanish thriller, with the same format and all...............................................you guys know what this means right?

Spanish firemen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!! Where can I get the original version of this movie? No seriously bitches. Anyone knows? C'mon! Spanish firemen!!!!!!! If those two words combined did not give you an orgasm, then you my friend, is a robot. Or a straight man. In which case, I apologize profusely for this post. And to show how sincerely sorry I am, here is the Spanish trailer. With Spanish firemen. Mwahahahahha!!!

Now, I'm off for a quick icy cold shower. *wink wink nudge nudge*

Dude, I'm like....hightech

The following post was written on 27th of August but never published, due to some reason I cannot recall. But I'm betting it has something to do with being distracted by shiny stuff. I've added the pics later on and did some editing but just to make things clear, this was written before Ramadhan. Any disrespect is unintentional but if you are feeling that way than.......

That would be all. Thank you.


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Hey did I mentioned that I got me a notebook? I didn't? Oh well....I totally did and it's ossssuuuumm!! I mean not that using the PC sucks donkey balls. It is a Samsung SyncMaster after all. Pretty topnotch............bout like 5 years ago. The thing is, it's in the study area. Open area. Where I have to sit at and put up with a considerable amount of disturbing shit and also makes it hard for me to look at pr0n no privacy. I mean, dude the whole house can totally see me Googling up half naked firemen.


I mean this one time I was looking at half naked photos of Clive Owen right and it was simply.............wonderful. Obviously by this time I was drooling and was so overcome with lust that I cannot even think straight. In my head, Clive and I was running hand in hand down the hill, some Hindi music playing in the background, he was half naked of course and I have curly ringlets a'la Drew Barrymore circa 1990. It was beautiful. And then out of nowhere, I heard my mother voice asking "What the hell are you doing looking at a naked man?" Dude.....I almost died. I mean honest to God. There's nothing more awkward then getting caught looking at provocative pics by your own mother.


Except for that one time when I had to sit through a sex scene with my mom. That was not my damn fault okay. It was that damn Viggo Mortensen fault. I heard rave reviews for that movie, "A History of Violence" and he acted in it and since my mom loved him so much in LOTR as Aragorn, I figured it'll be nice if we watch the DVD together. How in the blue hell am I supposed to know that there's going to be a scene of him pulling his pants down, exposing his damn ass to the world and started banging some chick on the staircase???? How the hell am I supposed to know that?!!! It's a "A History of Violence", not a "A History of Bangin Chicks on the Stairs"!! That was like one of the most disturbing, awkward moments of my life.


Anyways, I digress. Where was I? Riiigghht......Notebook. It's a HP Compaq Presario V3700. 14inch. It's glorious. Now I can look at pr0n all day do my many many assignments in my room without getting disturbed. Here I took some pics.

Pay no attention to the chick in the background. That's just my Wacoal calender. Also ignore the penguin. I like to whack my sis with that when she was around. And uh the Harry Potter thingie....ahhhh let's just say that at one point in my life- that lasted for 4 years - I was obsessed with the Harry Potter series. The notebook, pay attention to that, see how gloooorious it is.

I have a couple of questions however:

1) How do I hook-up my glooooorious notebook to the TV so that I can watch my illegally downloaded shows?

2) What's the best speakers to get? I don't want bigass ones. Think: travel friendly.

3) Is it necessary to get extra battery?

4) What's a good brand for a notebook backpack? I only have the messenger bag.

Get back to me on this one. I need your wise guidance.

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** Actually...the Constantly Dramatic One does not watch pr0n. Seriously. Unlike you pervs out there, I am not visually stimulated. I am intellectually stimulated. Say it with me: Li-te-ro-ti-ca. I read, I don't watch. Imagination is sexier anyways. Remind me one of these days and I'll hook you guys up. I hook you guys up gooood.

After Ramadhan of course.

*** Saying that, bring on the hate comments about how bad of a Muslim I am. Talk about how I'm a fat whore that's going to burn in hell for this. C'mon haters, I know y'all stumpy little fingers are just itching for it. Bring. It.

I iz stalking jooooooooo

So I'm kinda been.....stalking a guy. Okay. Shit. That comes out wrong. Let me rephrase. I am stalking a guy's blog. A hot guy's blog. Smokin hot. I kinda been doing it since like...uuhh......last year. But before this post enter a brand new realm of fucked up creepiness, let me explain.

He is a firefighter.

Ahhhhh, it makes sense now, doesn't it? He is a smokin hot firefighter. Now how I stumbled upon his blog is pretty much a typical story of the blogsphere. I was bloghopping, reading comments when I noticed one of the display pictures were of a firefighter's hat. Now my fetish respect for the firefighter's hat is well documented on this blog, as long time readers would know. Dude, all you have to do is put a firefighter's hat on your display pic and I will Google your name up and then try to Google Earth your house. Basically stalk the crap out of you. It is as simple as that.

So don't tempt me.






The thing about his blog is...it's kinda....well blah. Dude can't write for shit. Actually I think he's a himbo. But what he lacks in writing he make do in pictures. His pictures. And his friends. In uniform............................OhmyGod, it is so hot that I cannot even think straight. It's like p0rn, but much better. Cause there's no naked chicks that are hotter than me but just firefighters in uniforms. Sometimes he put up pictures of him and his friends, in full uniform on the firetruck. When he does that, I usually just shut off the PC and then proceed to take a looooong, cold, icy shower.




See, I told you this post is going to be creepy as hell.






But lately he haven't been updating. This is common because sometimes he gets busy rescuing kitties out of tress that he doesn't blog. But then when I went to check out his blog the last time it was missing!! Motherfucker. Really it was. Just gone. Poof! Like no goodbyes. No "I'll be moving to Wordpress cause Blogspot sucks donkey balls". Nothing. Just gone.





This is pissing me off. First of all, yes I have been stalking him without him knowing but I am long time reader, bitch. I deserve to know if he is going to terminate his blog. At least that way I can line up another firefighter to stalk. Of course, I wont expect him to write "Dear crazy stalker chick from Malaysia, I know you're stalking my tight ass. Because of that I feel morally violated and will no longer put up pictures of my tight ass on firetrucks so that you can have you long, cold, icy showers afterwards. And I'm taking my hat with me. xoxo Super-hot-firefighter-with-tight-ass." Of course I am not expecting that but a nice little farewell note would be much appreciated.


Fucker.


So now it has been 3 weeks since his blog disappeared from the wonderful world of blogshphere. I have come to terms with it. I have mourn the loss of seeing his firefighter hotness on a weekly basis. I am ready to move on therefore I am scouring the net for other blogs belonging to hot firefighters. You guys know any? I need my fix.

No, seriously.