I iz stalking jooooooooo

So I'm kinda been.....stalking a guy. Okay. Shit. That comes out wrong. Let me rephrase. I am stalking a guy's blog. A hot guy's blog. Smokin hot. I kinda been doing it since like...uuhh......last year. But before this post enter a brand new realm of fucked up creepiness, let me explain.

He is a firefighter.

Ahhhhh, it makes sense now, doesn't it? He is a smokin hot firefighter. Now how I stumbled upon his blog is pretty much a typical story of the blogsphere. I was bloghopping, reading comments when I noticed one of the display pictures were of a firefighter's hat. Now my fetish respect for the firefighter's hat is well documented on this blog, as long time readers would know. Dude, all you have to do is put a firefighter's hat on your display pic and I will Google your name up and then try to Google Earth your house. Basically stalk the crap out of you. It is as simple as that.

So don't tempt me.






The thing about his blog is...it's kinda....well blah. Dude can't write for shit. Actually I think he's a himbo. But what he lacks in writing he make do in pictures. His pictures. And his friends. In uniform............................OhmyGod, it is so hot that I cannot even think straight. It's like p0rn, but much better. Cause there's no naked chicks that are hotter than me but just firefighters in uniforms. Sometimes he put up pictures of him and his friends, in full uniform on the firetruck. When he does that, I usually just shut off the PC and then proceed to take a looooong, cold, icy shower.




See, I told you this post is going to be creepy as hell.






But lately he haven't been updating. This is common because sometimes he gets busy rescuing kitties out of tress that he doesn't blog. But then when I went to check out his blog the last time it was missing!! Motherfucker. Really it was. Just gone. Poof! Like no goodbyes. No "I'll be moving to Wordpress cause Blogspot sucks donkey balls". Nothing. Just gone.





This is pissing me off. First of all, yes I have been stalking him without him knowing but I am long time reader, bitch. I deserve to know if he is going to terminate his blog. At least that way I can line up another firefighter to stalk. Of course, I wont expect him to write "Dear crazy stalker chick from Malaysia, I know you're stalking my tight ass. Because of that I feel morally violated and will no longer put up pictures of my tight ass on firetrucks so that you can have you long, cold, icy showers afterwards. And I'm taking my hat with me. xoxo Super-hot-firefighter-with-tight-ass." Of course I am not expecting that but a nice little farewell note would be much appreciated.


Fucker.


So now it has been 3 weeks since his blog disappeared from the wonderful world of blogshphere. I have come to terms with it. I have mourn the loss of seeing his firefighter hotness on a weekly basis. I am ready to move on therefore I am scouring the net for other blogs belonging to hot firefighters. You guys know any? I need my fix.

No, seriously.

Sleep with the fishes

I have been getting weird phone calls out of late. I think its mostly wrong numbers but really, its getting to me.

I loathe random perverted messages. Truly. Like this one time it was around 2 in the morning and I was watching CSI: Las Vegas Season 2 on DVD. Thinking that its all kinds of wrong to be attracted to Grissom when the phone rang. I answered and there was heavy breathing on the other end. And then somebody yells out like he got an orgasm.

Classy.

There will always be perverts who would just be pressing some numbers in the early mornings. If you're at the other end, hanging up and moving on with life is the best bet. And you know what else pisses me off? People calling you and then asking you who you are. What the fuck is that? You call me, you worthless piece of shit. Not the other way around. You don't ask who I am, you let me know who you are. I don't ask. Asshole.

But as of today I have been getting these phone calls. I dunno who the hell it is from but the same number kept on calling. Its kinda freaky. Everytime I answers, the line would be incredibly blurry and I can barely makes out a word. It goes like this:

"Hi. Why are you awake?"

"Who's this?"

"Its Jason."

"I dunno any Jason."

"But I know you."

Then the fucker hangs up. He done this 3 fucking times. You would ask why I kept on answering. That's a fair question and this is your answer: because I am the dumbass that did not save that number in my phone therefore I do not recognize it until I answer it. Now I do. And I'm pissed. So in a total bitch move I'm giving you people the number:

012-2271790

Call him and tell him to fuck off and die. Call him and say that you wanna chop of his balls and feed it to the goats. Call him and say that the Constantly Dramatic One sends a message, she says "Tonight Jason, you will sleep with the fishes". Or maybe write it on the wall of a bus stop "For a good time, call this number." Whatever you want to do with it, do it. I'm fed-up with his stupid late nights calls.

As if I don't have other issue to deal with.

Now go forth and do my biddings.....Would be much better if you can chop off his balls and feed it to the goats. I would be eternally grateful.

"Creepy" is not "romantic"

You know what's creepy? Being stalked. Being stalked is creepy as fuck.





A message to little boys out there:





If you like a girl, come up and talk to her. Do not under any circumstances gather your posse of five and then follow her around a mall. Now in your collective deluded minds, I'm sure stalking a girl as she drools over shoes that she can never afford is romantic. But no it is not. It is the epitome of creepiness. You bitches completely ruin her shoe shopping mojo and it takes a lot to ruin that.





Now you see if you, little boy, is checking a girl out and the girl in question notices that- this is the point where you start flirting. Smiling and looking friendly would go a long way. What don't go a long way is that you are a fucking pussy that rather gather five of your fucking friends and follow her around than actually talking to her. Being followed around by 6 unknown men is not a turn on. In case you did not get that, let the Constantly Dramatic One rephrase:


Being scared is not a turn on.


You stupid piece of shit.


I'm gona go lie down now coz I'm getting a heartburn from the experience.

Of things that are pissing me off during the finals....

Right. You know how some people NEVER learn from their mistakes? Yeah, I am one of those people.

I have extremely thick hair. Extremely. That cutting it short is really a risky move however during my high school years I can't stand long hair so I always had it short. Because of the combination of shortness and thickness of the hair.... I went through my whole high school years looking like a mushroom. About an hour ago I went and got myself a similar haircut without realising that it will become the mushroom hair yet again.

You think the first time was painful enough....but noooooo I have to repeat it. Again. Somebody hurry go get a baseball bat and club me over the head with it. When I say head, I mean my mushroom hair head. Meh.

************************************

Allright riddle me this, since when is dressing like the goddamn Taliban is cool? Dunno what I am talking about? Here lemme show you:

Now I dunno when the hell it becomes cool but the last time I checked, those Taliban Jihad soldiers that came on CNN telling the world how they were going to decapitate the nice-white-lady-from-Oregon's head - was wearing that shit. So when did it become cool to dress like that?

Take that shit off. Wearing a vest like Justin was cool. Wearing those goddamn scarves just make you look like a douche. Just like 50 cent when he started wearing bullet proof vest and nothing else around. It ain't cool, its stupid. Therefore in conclusion if you dress like that then you are a dumbass.

********************************

"Fudge you!!"
"Fu%k"
"Brother pucker"


Okay listen up. If you wanna curse just fucking do it. Just because you swap the words around doesn't change the meaning one bit. Just because you say "Fudge you" doesn't mean you do not mean "Fuck you."

If you mean it than say it. Don't be a pussy. If you are a pussy but want to say it but yet don't want to then don't fucking say it all you sonofabitch.


See I called you a son of a bitch. I didn't swap the words around or make it sound like something else. I called you a son of a bitch. And I mean it. See the difference here? Stop trying to be cute around me. Unless you are a kitten or Ghendut- my golden hamster, you will never be cute to me.


People have to stop pissing me off. I'm already on the edge with this fucking exams.


**********************************

"hehe. saw you on grease. add me. hehe"


Listen creepy weird psycho over Facebook. I appreciate the fact that you came for the show. I'm glad that you enjoyed the show. But I don't however appreciate the fact that you track me down over Facebook asking for a friend add. I am not your friend. I am not gonna be a part of your life mission of getting 30, 000, 000 friends.

I do not friend add strangers........... Unless, of course if you are a smokin-hot-soldier-of-the-Turkish-Royal-Army-who-speaks-no-word-of-English-but-has-an-uber-tight-ass. But you are not a smokin-hot-soldier-of-the-Turkish-Royal-Army-who-speaks-no-word-of-English-but-has-an-uber-tight-ass. You are some creepy weirdo dude from college that I don't want to have anything to do with. And your ass is not even tight. I've checked.



I'm putting you on block. He he.

Stalking pays

Remember my ULTIMATE FRENEMY from highschool? Yeah, that bitch. She's back from Europe to visit her family and she gave me a call asking if I wanna meet up this Friday.



See, normally I would have told her no on accounts that I hate her and that if she were caught in a burning building, instead of calling the fire brigade I will pull up a chair, and have popcorn as I watch the building burn down and cackles everytime I hear her screams from within. My hate have no boundaries. For the record, the Constantly Dramatic One is not nice. Just so you know.



But the thing is.........I have been stalking her blog now for awhile. And I know for a fact that she is having a shitty time in Europe. She only have one friend. She's bored there. She always blog about how lonely she is. And that she thinks her life is going nowhere. All these dreadful entries..... This is for all those years you fuck around with people lives back in highschool woman. Karma is indeed a bitch ain't it?



So I'm eager to see if she was just as pretentious and desperate for attention as she was back in the day. I wanna meet her so that she could lie to me about how great her life is when for a fact I know she doesn't have one. I want her to speak with a European accent when I know she blogs about how European people cannot understand her when she speaks. I wanna hear about all the places she visited in Europe, when she blogs about how she is always stuck in the house. I wanna hear all that. I won't call out on her lies. I will be sarcastic.

Then I will meet up with my friends from highschool who hate her equally and have new stuff to bitch about.Because that's how we roll.



I do know however that she went to Kanye West's concert. She had like 3 massive entries about that. Bet bitch gonna talk about that. No matter, I can just say that I think Kanye is an asshole and that people who listens to hiphop are very sad. It's sad because there is no depth in those music and its utterly shameful that women are into it as well. All these songs ever do is objectifiying women. Strip them out of their rights as human beings and label women as mere sex objects. And then I will look condescendingly at her while I sip my cafe' latte. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!



She of course doesn't need to know how I sing and dance to Flo Rida's Low and how my friends and I sing This Is Why I'm Hot everytime we karaoke. She also doesn't need to know that I still sleep with stuff toys. I'm supposed to be more matured and worldly then her people. Work with me.



Also need to look super cute this Friday. It's imperative that I look cuter than her.



Must. Look. Super. Cute.



Shit, I cannot buy any new outfits. It had been 2 months and 9 days now since I last shopped. Promised the Parental Units not to shop till June. Fuck. This is bad. I have to wear the clothes I already have, accessorize to glam it up. What to wear? What to wear? A LBD is pushing it. We're meeting for coffee people. Damn, what to wear? What to wear? This is crucial. I will put on some outfits, take pictures and let my Style Counsellors decide. And when I say Style Counsellors I mean 3kc and Cheesecakeerian. And maybe Tinesh coz he's a girl too.


And maybe I should stop at Benefit's counter for a makeover....Meet up with her with 3 inch of makeup on my face. AHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAH! Okay, that's truly pushing it. But whatever it is: MUST. LOOK. CUTE.

Cuter than that bitch anyways...

Update

Ultimate Frenemy texted me saying she might not be able to make it. What the fuck??????????????? This is bullshit.

Snoop snoop

Remember my ULTIMATE frenemy from highschool?





Yeah, found her blog.

Oh yes, this is going to be fun. It will also provide abundance of information to bitch about during my get together with high school friends... next Friday.



Eeeeeeeeeexcellent.

Day in Stupidity

The Constantly Dramatic One was stalked today.


By a bunch of stupid fucks.

It started out like this. I went out to buy material for my sister's upcoming wedding. The theme is blue therefore the whole family is wearing blue. I only have one outfit in blue and like hell I am gonna repeat outfits for my sister's wedding.

So today I went to Gulati's Silk House, a famous cloth retail over here to find material to be turn into a kebaya. Its in the Malay culture, and every other culture I think, to wear our traditional clothes during big occasions such as weddings. When I was entering the store, there was a group of four guys, in their twenties hanging about near the store but I couldn't really give a damn.


I am after all a woman on a mission.



I think I spent over an hour in the store looking over the most beautiful material that would look good on

a) moi,
b) would still look good when turned into a kebaya,
c) within the budget or my dad will turn homicidal.



Finally the Constantly Dramatic One settled on this gorgeous blue material, its glorious. It turned greenish when the light hits it and shiny and soooo pretty. 100% Korean silk so you know its comfy as hell. And best part is, its only within the budget because there is a 40% discount. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm gonna wear that and feel...luxurious.


So after keeping the shop assistants busy for over an hour and damn happy with my selection I decided to do some window shopping. The four guys that was hanging about was still there when I left Gulati's. Its when I was browsing books at MPH that I noticed that there were two of the guys in the bookstore with me. There was nothing peculiar over two guys browsing for books. What's peculiar was that they were in front of the section where they were selling historical romance novels. And when I was looking, they both were sooooo into searching for a book.



Okay, two gay dudes who probably enjoy reading historical romance to each other and anal sex.

Yeah, okay. I'm down with that.



Then I left and check out jewelery boxes In Living Quarters and the two guys are still there. This time looking at vases. Glass vases with intricate flowery designs.



Okay, so on top of reading historical romance to each other and anal sex, they probably also playing house together.

Yeah, okay. I'm down with that.



Then it all finally clicks when the Constantly Dramatic One's was in Watson's looking at sanitary pads and guess who were looking at pads too? Uh huh....yeah. Doesn't seem so gay now and I feel stupid as fuck. Then one of the guys smiled at me and asked what my name is. That's right huney, make your move by the sanitary pads. In a drugstore.



Classy.



I smiled to be polite and then walked away. They followed me around and then tried to made contact by sanitary pads. Like hello? I don't come near at all to being as hot as Scarlett Johansson or ever been the pretties girl in the room but I do need someone with a minute level of brain functionality. Clearly they don't have this. Plus, they were rempits. I won't go near a rempit even with a 40 feet pole.

So that concludes the Constantly Dramatic One's day in stupidity. Wasn't the first time I was stalked by rempits though. Rempits like to stalk women apparently. God...when is there going to be a law that legalize people to shoot rempits on sight? Oh wait was that too harsh?

Its supposed to be.