Humble and modest, that is me

I have been double tag by both Faye and Pourpres to do this tag. 15 random facts about the Constantly Dramatic One. I mean, who would want to know random things about me? I mean......I think this whole practice of telling people all facts all about me is just shallow and narcissistic. The Constantly Dramatic One is of course not shallow or narcissistic. I am humble. And modest. And the ultimate paragon of all that is pure and true in this world.




What's that?...........What are these mistruths you speak of? When have I ever claimed to be..."ossum". I have made no such claim. Modest and humble and pure and true persons such as I am will never make such claim. I do not need to claim to be ossum, tis an undisputed fact.


*buff nails*

Even though I am humble and modest and do not like talking about myself....at all..............I will do this tag. I will write 15 random facts about myself. Because in the blogsphere, we honour the age old tradition of blog tagging. Yes, that's the only reason. In no way will I enjoy writing all this about myself. In no way do I enjoy talking about myself. In no way am I narcisstic. At all. None.





Seriously.




1. I kiss and hug my parents every night before going to sleep. Also every time before I leave the house. This does not include the times we have arguments cause during those times there will be no hugging and kissing. Only shouting and slamming doors. And more shouting........... And slamming doors.



2. I have 6 people whom I met through the blogsphere on my Facebook: Prince, Quin, Peter, Faye, Melissa and Tine. People whom I have never met in real life but have grown to adore.





3. Red lipstick is most of the time, my everyday look. I rock red lipsticks better than anyone I know. Yes, better than anyone else I know. This is yet another demonstration of how humble and modest the Constantly Dramatic One is.



4. I do not go out to celebrate the coming of New Year or Merdeka (Independence Day), I just couldn't be bothered. I'm not bothered to go out clubbing or to watch the fireworks or whatever. The traffic is hideous, everything's overcharged, parking is a bitch and the crowd..... Oh God, the crowd. The

rempits, the posers, the horny illegal immigrants, the snooty "cool kids"- I cannot take it. Piss me off.



So what if I'm lame cause I chose to stay in on these nights, I don't care. I'm not the dumbass who's gonna be stuck in traffic for 5 hours, getting stressed out searching for parking or getting my ass grabbed by some Bangladeshi construction worker in the crowd...all for the sake of watching some fireworks blow up.


5. In an ideal world this is how my beauty regime would go:

The first week of the month: I shall go for a full body massage. The nekkid type. Ideally, the messues would be male, muscular, sexy, has a tight ass and resembles Clive Owen. Would be even better if the messues is Clive Owen. But alas, this is not an ideal world. Clive is an actor, not a messues.


The second week of the month: I shall go for a diamond peel facial. Where they massage your face with diamonds to encourage blood flow and all that jazz. None of those run of the mill facials for moi, only diamond facials are good enough. But alas, this is not an ideal world. Half the damn time I cannot even afford a McDonald's Happy Meal, much less something related to diamonds.


The third week of the month: I shall go for a fish therapy

I will sit there for half and hour and let them fished nimble away the dead cells on my feet and hence beautify them. All this goes on while Clive gives me a back rub. But alas, this is not an ideal world. Clive does not give me back rubs. Bastard.

The fourth week of the month: I shall go for mani and pedi. At this upscale nail boutique in which they would pamper me, beautify my nails and make me feel all special and purdy. But alas, this is not an ideal world. I do my own mani and pedi and most of the time my nails ended up lopsided. And all retarded looking. Also they're kinda transparent due to lack of some vitamin or other.



6. Samuel L.Jackson is my ultimate idol in badass-dery. Everytime I watched any of his movies, I have an insane need to go around calling everyone "motherfucker". Whenever I feel like someone is bullying me or pushing me to a corner, I think to myself "What would Samuel L.Jackson do?............He would whoop this motherfucker bitch azz up! That's what he'll do." I of course would not whoop anyone's bitch ass up..........cause I'm a pussy.



7. I am only interested in men who are 7 to 9 years older than me. Little boys around my age do not interest me.




8. I have not watched MTV for about 4 years now. I didn't even check out that channel when I'm channel surfing. I just grown to old to give a damn about awards, or the newest video clips or who's hot right, or who's dating who. That's just so highschool. And it's been ages since I left highschool I am after all twenty.............19 years old. Yes 19, just 2 years since I left highschool. Not that long ago when I think about.



Moving on.



9. I did not find out about sex until I was 14. True story, I am not making this shit up. I honestly do not know that people have sex to have babies. I thought people have sex for fun and babies just appear out of nowhere. No really, I am that fucking stooooopid. I remember the day I found out about sex. It was in Islamic Studies class and the teacher was talking about the sins of premarital sex and what happens if you get a baby from that.......and then it dawned on me that people have sex, babies come from sex, my parents have 3 kids...........................................................that was a very disturbing revelation. I can assure you that.




I can also assure you that my knowledge of sex have greatly improve since then. Ahem.



10. I cannot pronounce the word "beach". I can't. Don't try and teach me cause I just can't. It just comes out as "bitch". So I always say "seaside" instead. Conversations going round this word usually go like this:


CD: Yay!! We're here. Let's hit the seaside.
Random friend: You mean the beach?
CD: Yeah, the seaside.
Random friend:.................................Beach right?
CD: Yes, that's what I said. Seaside.


And round and round it goes.

11. One of the best things in life is when I read something, a book or an article, is when a line would jump out to me. Like when you read something and you stopped over a sentence, reflect and go "Damn, that is a good line. I wish I could write that." That is like one of my favourite things, finding those lines. And because I like them so much, I collect them. I write them out in my notebook so that I could look them over again and again. I appreciate the beauty of words. Words can be magical if you can weave them well.

And one of those people that can definitely weave words is Faye. I cannot tell you how many times that I stopped and go "Damn that was a good line, this woman can really write" while reading her blog. Then in a total act of word nerdy-ness, I'll write out the line or the phrase so that I can look it over in other time. I'm nerdy like that.

12. You know how men are fond of saying that women dress up nicely for them? I say bullshit. I never dress up for men. When I do dress up to go out, I always have women in mind. What men think is a non-issue. It's not like that they have an ounce of idea what fashion is all about. What other women think of my outfit is far more crucial. That's how I know how chic I look.

13. For some reason I always regret the fact that I was born long after my Pakistani grandpa on my mother side passed away. He fought in the WW2 alongside the Brits and that hows he came to (the then) Malaya, met my grandma and settle down. I always think that talking to him would a fascinating thing. Hearing all his war stories, his childhood stories in a distant land and all that. Unfortunately he passed away even before my parents were wed.

Atuk & Wan (grandpa & grandma) circa 1970s

I regret never knowing my grandpa. Though it is no fault of my own or anyone else's.



14. Every girl has a favourite Disney princess. Most of the time, for some reason or another it'll be Cinderella. Mine is not Cinderella. Mine is Snow White. Before this I though the reason why I like her so much is cause of the red lips, I have a penchant for red lipsticks anyways. But then I realise something, seeing that Snow White was released in the 1930s, the artwork that comes with the film Snow White is in tuned with that era.

You guys, Snow White looks like a pinup girl. No really. Google it up if you don't believe me.



15. Every year I will buy a little something for myself on my bDay. Sort of a self-pampering shit. Last year it was a handbag, before that a Shiseido lipstick, this year it is a book that I have been wanting for a long time.




16. One of my great interest, actually, love is....wait for it.......is history. I've always enjoyed history. All through highschool I consistently scored A's for history. I mean I'm flunking Maths, getting Bs for Biology but there never a time when I have anything less than an A for my history exams. In fact, I read history books for fun. I can tell you what the War of the Roses was all about, the founding of Melacca in a heartbeat, explain the rise and fall of the Roman Empire in great details.....cause I buy books about them. I spent countless hours reading about them online. I also religiously watch the History Channel, for fun.





In fact even the fiction books I read have an inclination to be historical. Historical crime, historical fantasy, historical high fantasy, historical romance, historical fiction...basically if it's historical you can bet your ass I will enjoy it. My favourites are 13th century Medieval England especially concerning Henry the 8th and his 6 wives, 14th Century Scotland, 1930's American (the Great Depression), books concerning the Holocaust are just fascinating, and Edwardian France. Those are good centuries to start with if you want to read anything historical.





In fact, this is the book I'm reading now:




The Autobiography of Henry VII: With Notes by His Fool, Will Somers .By Margaret George (994 pages)


It also has the honour of being the book I bought as a gift for myself, for my birthday. Now you know.


Oh wow, look 16 facts. Damn, I am too humble. Now I am tagging 15 of your asses.



1) Natalija

2) Frank

3) Aini

4) Melissa

5) Tine

6) Peter

7) Tinesh

8) Rujing

9) Technodoll

10) Michelle

11) Senorita

12) splatme

13) Kerp

14) Fara

15) And the last one is open for whoever that wants to do this.



Now go forth and be humble and modest, minions.