Monday, October 06, 2008

My haters ain't got no balls




Sometimes there are unexplainable things that go on in the universe that we cannot even begin to explain. Such occurrence such as the Milky Way is still a mystery to the scientists over in NASA. The Bermuda Triangle still evoke the hibbie jibbies in the hearts of all the sailors of the world. The fact that some women still find Tom Cruise hot is a perpetual source of confusion that keeps me up at night, wondering why oh why would they think he's hot when that dude is clearly insane......and sad.







But such is the universe. Who are we mere mortals to question it? But question it I do however.





I question it when I wake up this morning as I brush my teeth while staring at myself in the mirror, I realise something that is ridiculously perplexing to me. The fact that my life is going well right now. The fact that I am happy. The fact that I ain't got no drama.








What. The. Fuck.





The Constantly Dramatic One with no drama? With none at all? WTF? WTF? How does it come to this? How come I let myself be contented with life? Why did I not watch any movies that pisses me off? Why is no one up all over my face making trouble? Why do I not come across ridiculous articles online that get me all riled up? But most of aaaaallll, where the fuck are all my haters? Why have they got no balls that a little reproach would scare them away? It's disappointing that one teeny post with subtle sarcasm and a little disclaimers in the comment box would drive them away. Don't they know that I need them for the drama? Why do they not leave me anymore hate filled comments? Where are they in my time of need?!!!



You know there's a particular hater of mine that have grown near and dear to my heart. I adore her, I sayang her. Not only that I think she is a loathsome, no-confidence, self-hating, consumed with jealousy over the fact that she's not as ossum as I am, or that she does not have an ass like mine, and overall, a 2 cent hooker that even the most desperate sailor that have been stranded at the sea for 7 years wont go near with a 49-feet-pole cause she is just that fug and....... smells, but I admire her. Cause she can spell well. Most of my haters can't spell for shit but this one at least got 6th grade under her belt and can use the online dictionary properly. I'm very proud of her.



But lately she hasn't left me any hate filled comments. And this makes the Constantly Dramatic One a very sad girl. It makes me feel not ossum. Have you stopped being jealous of me sayang? Why are you not leaving me anymore hate comments? I know you still read my blog cause you're addicted to my ossumness........ also I tracked your IP address down. Amazing what technology can do for you. Don't you not want to be me anymore? But I'm ossum. Everyone wanna be ossum..............................



I'm sure most of you dunno what I'm talking about. So let me copy and paste what my favourite hater left me over the months:


1)
Anonymous said...

Maybe they're just giving you some encouragement. For someone obese, dressed in 10 sizes smaller, of course you are screaming for ATTENTION.
They just bagi muka la so you tak tersinggung. Jangan la marah sangat. You should be happy sayang.

Translation for the brown part:

They're just making sure that you are not slighted. Don't be so angry. You should be happy love. ("Sayang" means love or dear, according to the context. Let's assume its "love" in this context.)

This is taken from this post.

2)
Anonymous said...

Just lose weight and stop commenting on other people. They are much better looking than you and are much slimmer and have better bodies than you. So please don't try to make up for your hideous and fat self by condemning these chicks.

p/s: Sayang, i hope fasting has helped you lose a few pounds. Though it
seems impossible...but my prayers are with you.
Tak baik tau mengata orang masa ramadhan.Muacks

Translation: It's not nice talking shit bout other people during Ramadhan. Muacks.

Taken from here.

3)
Anonymous said...

Fat bitch, i dunno what's riding up your ass....but seriously, you have a huge problem. Not only are you like obese, you are condemning other ppl. It's ramadhan bitch.
Kesian your mom. Her butt hole was torn so badly when she purged you out coz you are such a fat shitty bitch

Translation: Pity your mom.

Taken from
here.

And then of course I wrote this post in which I was subtly sarcastic. Cause I'm classy like that. But after that my sayang disappeared. Like poof. Well she didn't disappear all together. She still reads my blog. Ahhh...the infinite joy of IP tracking. I'm just like a drug you can't quit right....sayang? I know, I have the same effect on Clive Owen too. But sayang, why didn't you leave me any more hate comments? Did you get scared sayang? You are my ultimate source of amusement and with every comments that you leave behind you stroke my ego for being far more superior than you. And I appreciate that. I like being superior. So please won't you come back?

You can even insult my golden hamster, Ghendut. I don't mind. And oh sayang, even though I come across really bitchy and like someone who is good with confrontations in this blog, I want you to know that it is not the way so in real life. I am not bitchy or good with confrontations in real life. Really.


I'm better.


And thank you sayang for giving me the hint in that first comment you left. I knew you went to the same college as I do and now.........recently, I found out who you are. I'm looking forward to meeting you in real life. I thrive in confrontations, I hope you do too. It'll make our upcoming meeting even more interesting than our online relationship already is.

Miss you sayang, and looking forward to seeing you.
Muacks!

26 comments:

Michelle said...

Oh my...looks like some drama ahead! Can't wait to check back!

Zikri said...

You are nuts

Frank said...

The only people who ever give me negative comments are my ex girlfriend and her sisters, and it's been going on for almost a year so it's getting kind of old. I almost wish I had some haters of my own.

No, wait, no I don't. I try to keep my blog a happy place :)

I can help you out with any verbal abuses you'd like to dish out, though. I am an eloquent English major, after all!

Tinesh said...

All that drama..Good tension release.. I wanna be there in college when it happens. Lemme noe when. Call me before it happens k?

Btw, the mysteries of the UNIVERSE, not just the milky way, will be explained soon. Once the LHC collides the particles. I cant wait for that too.

And today, I forgot Clive Owen's name. I was thinking and thinking and naming some movies he acted in but I juuuuust cudnt remember. Sorry yea

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Michelle:

Yes, please do that. Should get interesting now.

Zikri:

No, I'm ossum.

Tinesh:

WTH?!! You forgot Clive Owen? You forgot about MY lover? Why do you hurt me like this? Whhhhyy? Whhhyyy?

The pain Tinesh, oh the pain!

Frank:

Wow she stalks your blog and then leave you hate comments? That's sad. Woman needs to get over it already.

Technodoll said...

This is fucking hilaaarious!

Gonna call all the bitches "sayang" from now on! Lookit what you started: a fad! ROTF!

Not sure about the minky though.

rujing said...

yet another great post! i love your attitude, screw the haters. a couple weeks back we had a serial-hater commenting us. mostly homophobic crap. it was infuriating and i wanted to hunt them down and put a fork in there eye. but like your serial-hater, they've suddenly stopped and it's almost as if i feel a sense of abandonment. where are you, oh hater of mine?
xx

faye said...

I can picture a mean girls moment.

senorita.. said...

hw come i dun get hate comments? ish,looks like my tahap ke-ossum-an still not quite there yet..

and one tiny LOL thingy.. u came out frm butt hole ar sayang? LMAO

ps:like the others, am dying to know what will happen next episode, or when u see her in real life.

ta~

sab said...

you complete her? or she completes you?

haha!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Techno:

Yes, she is my ultimate sayang now. =D

rujing:

Oh God, homophobes ranks right there next to racist on my list of "these people should just fuck and die already". Why can't we just live together and be happy?

Yes, I know. I feel abandon too....Where are you sayang, come back!

Faye:

Actually I do too. I do wish we will bump into each other seeing that she and me no longer are studying in the same building. Hhhmmm....

Senorita:

Oh noes, you have to work on you ossumness level. And then fo sho you have haters too. And apprently my sayang came out from the butthole lah. Poor thing.

I wish I will bump into her. We don't run in the same circles. But I know who she is. We'll see how this goes.

evie said...

Clive Owen is fat, ugly and talent-less... is this enough to start a ruckus here? :p

Taxy Driver said...

Haters need inspiration too, you know...

Tinesh said...

evie: actually forgetting Clive Owen's name is enuff haha..

cd: sorry la..one of those moments.

Natalija said...

How's that for drama woman. You has a stalker.

I've always wondered how to track IP addresses. But pfft... blog is on private so no use.

I knew it was someone that knew you! It's tweety! Tell me it is!!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Sab:

We complete each other. I'm missing her so, so much now. =(

Evie:

Holy Mother of God, that hurts. Usually such harsh words would mean there shall be war between us....but I shall forgive you cause you are just toooooo cute.

}=D

Yeah woman, bring it. =p

Taxy Driver:

Hhhmmmm now that you mention it....I shall put up fat pictures of myself. I bet that give her inspiration enough to return.

I do miss her so.

T-man:

You traitorous non-sunflower! Stop giving her tips!

Natalija:

Aaaahhh, the plot thickens. I shall email you the answer. No point letting her on, right? ;-)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

fat bitch, attention seeker, obese,...whatever. you're my sunflower, for always!

Peter Varvel said...

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha !
You probably scared her off with the IP tracking, hee hee!
. . . or how do you know Anonymous isn't just me, leaving comments twice sometimes, with my little Jekyll & Hyde passive-agressive self? *giggles evilly*
;-)
Thanks for the translations for us non-Malay-speaking fans!

evie said...

*nods in agreement with Tinesh* but DAMN it's too late now. It's ok CDO, I will be back with more ammo. The "cute" word did it!

Elisabeth said...

Ah; what a cow. I'd use a stronger "c" word, but wouldn't dream of defouling your comments with such words.

Seriously though; she needs a kick up the arse.

ruyom said...

(1) The BN corrupt machinery has lorded over this country the past 50 years, and nothing is sacred to them anymore. The police, the judiciary and every other government department and institutions seems to do BN bidding and the right or wrong of each act is never discussed for they just follow orders - they "Just Do It".

So wouldn't all these acts be considered highly 'unethical' to say the least?

(2) Many of these purported crossover BN MPs are sick to their core of the continuing inefficiency and blatant corrupt practices of their more powerful BN counterparts, especially the Umno clique.

This includes the latter strident display of racism, continually raising the spectre of May 13, blatant disregard of basic human rights and selective targeting and incarceration of their opponents, or just about anyone they don't like, e.g. Teresa Kok, Raja Petra and Hindraf 5.

But there is no "show cause" letter to that very racist Utusan Malaysia. How many Malaysians can stomach these dirty actions and how many subscribe to Umno's make-believe world?

(3) Persistent calls by Sabah politicians within the BN circle to institute a royal commission on how so many million foreigners can own our blue ICs and become Malaysian citizens are totally ignored to this day to the continuing detriment of genuine Malaysian Sabahans security, peace and the hope of continued prosperity in this rich Land Below The Wind.

(4) Likewise, wholesale giveaways of valuable government land to cronies in Sarawak and calls to investigate the Taib Dynasty are all given short shrift.

(5) Is it any wonder that many of these BN MPs are prepared to crossover to Anwar camp with no promises of monetary rewards as stated by Anwar many times? Likewise, is it wrong or unethical for Anwar to state that if elected with the help of these crossover BN MPs, he will ensure that Sabah is again ruled by a true Sabahan - a Kadazan and not an Umnoputra?

For the same reason, Sarawak will then be ruled by a true Sarawakian - an Iban. What can be so 'unethical' about these wise moves?

(6) Most Malaysians are immigrants of one sort or another when they migrated to this country now called Malaysia. The could be a Chinese with 600 years of ancestry or they could be Indonesians from Java, Sumatera or other parts of the vast Indonesian archipelago some 800 years ago.

Or they could be from India (Madras, Kerala etc), with some 100 years of ancestry. It is interesting further to note that Chinese Malaysian Muslims are not classified as "bumis" like some Malaysian Indian Muslims even though they profess the religion of Islam, think and act and eat like all other Muslims, observe Ramadhan, go to the same mosques etc. And don't forget there are some 100 million Chinese Muslims in China today!

(7) The true "natives" and "sons of the soil" like our aborigines (the Sakai, Negrito etc), and the Dayaks, Ibans, Kadazans etc, in Sabah and Sarawak - some of which may have been classified as bumis - are badly marginalised and handed only crumbs for development spending, if any at all.

Sadly, the situation is prevalent all over the world where the true natives are badly marginalised - the Aborigines in Australia, the Inuits in Japan and the Native Americans in the US.

(8) There is therefore nothing unethical or corrupt bout Anwar strategy to rule Malaysia - the BN coalition will resort to the same if they were ever popular after March 8. Anwar is Malaysia only chance at true salvation to make this rich country a much better place for all Malaysians, regardless of colour, creed or religion and to live and learn from each other.

Our unique multiculturalism can then be preserved and encouraged. Ask ourselves: what has BN done in all their 50 year rule except to enrich further the fabulously rich cronies in their group?

(9) A 916 is the best way out, and time is of the essence: you cannot wait for the next election. If BN are so sure of themselves, why are they so afraid to convene parliament earlier? Any straw voting will tell the whole BN set-up that they are now irrelevant.

peachy said...

duuuude. from what i gather, wasn't she posting that stuff during Ramadhan too? talk about hypocrisy. and i would like to see a picture of Ghendut. and pls give us a blow-by-blow summary of when you confront her or get tinesh to record it or something. srsly. i need to SEE!

simply.steph said...

I NEED DRAMA! no one ever spouts any critiques on our blog... I think signs of haters is awesome, someone actually taking the time to set out a passionate vendetta against you is something to be proud of

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Kerp:

Yes, I am in fact a puuuurdy sunflower =p

Peter:

Because I know you'll never drag anyone's mother into this. You're classy.

Evie:

I just checked my email. You did bring more ammo. I am impressed at your evilness.

I also feel threatened. =S

Peachy:

I know!! She was saying shit too during Ramadhan. Poor little deluded worthless piece of shit.

How I pity her soul.

And no, no pics of Ghendut. I dont want to share him around. I sayang him too much =p

simply.steph:

I know!!! Not that my sayang has gone missing I'm feeling less ossum. I no longer tracked her IP, little worthless piece of shit got scared.

I haz a sad now. =/

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

ruyom:

Dearest ruyom,

Thank you for dropping by and taking the time off your day to copy and paste that into my comment box. I appreciate it.

However, I want you to know that Dramatic Musings is for, and for me alone to bitch in. It is not here for you to spread your political propaganda.

Though I agree with more than half of what was on your copy and paste list, I do want you to know that I have no interest in getting my sexy ass thrown into ISA.

So if you want to leave hate comments, you go on ahead. If you want to leave any words of praises, than you go on ahead. But please leave the political intrigues, scandals and drama outside the door.

There is only one room for intrigues, scandals and drama on this blog and those are the ones created by me. Not you.

Know your place.

the Constantly Dramatic One

Salt N Turmeric said...

Been so busy with raya (more like pretending/hoping im back home for raya) that i havent been here for weeks.

Now, this is what I call drama! Very the classy one. Since im rather new with your blog, I promise I would go back and read all the previous posts. ;)

p.s. somehow reading your constant bitching, brings me back to reality. Err, or could it be still a fantasy? lol.