Wednesday, August 06, 2008

My list of possible lesbian lovers....

otherwise could be titled: If-ever-there-comes-a-time-when-I-am-no-longer-lusting-for-Clive Owen-and-have-no-desire-to-become-his-kept-woman-or-to-sire-his-illegitimate-children...I-would-totally-become-a-lesbian-and-do-these-chicks.

Also for all those of you who got a stick stuck up your asses, no I'm not a lesbian. Even if I am it's none of your problem and I'm speaking specifically to those individuals of excessive homophobia and overzealous religious beliefs. But as it is, this whole list is a joke. If you can't take a joke than I suggest you take that stick stuck up your asses and your dignified selves elsewhere. No one making you stay and read my blog at gun point now, are they?





So now I present to you the top ten women that the Constantly Dramatic One would totally go lesbo with. Durn durn duuuuuurrrrnnnn!



Number 10: Mariah Carey






I know a lot of you guys are going...."Dude, Mariah Carey? WTF?".


I know....I know. She is skanky and trashy. But you know, I think she's a hot kinda skanky and trashy. I put her down on my list of "Lesbian One Night Stand" cause no way in hell I wanna get into a domestic partnership with this woman. Bitch is crazy.




Number 9: Lucy Lui







Lucy has this really quiet kinda sexiness. She would not jump off the page as someone who is really sexy or in fact beautiful. But when she speaks and move, you just cannot take her eyes of her. It's the quiet confidence thing. I always think that out of the 3 Charlie's Angels- Cameron Diaz is the cute one, Drew Barrymore is the charming one and Lucy Liu is the slinky, uber sexy one.


Also if you have ever seen "Payback", you know that that part with Lucy in the dominatrix getup is pretty much hard to forget.





Number 8: Marlene Dietrich

Ahhhh Marlene, I know she's dead but her sensuality lives on for centuries to come. She exudes an aura of insatiable mystery every time she's on the screen. Maybe its the German accent, maybe its those famous legs of hers, or how the smoke from her cigarette always framed her face, or maybe because she was always so beautifully lighted in every movie she have ever been in therefore presented at her best like a fine work of art.....*le sigh*



Number 7: Amanda Bynes


Okay Amanda isn't exactly your typical babe. But she is funny ,talented and pretty. She seems to be working hard and keeping her personal life out of the spotlight....unlike some people *cough* Lindsay Lohan *cough*.




If I really am a lesbian, I'll ask her to marry me (same sex marriage is a go in California people) and then together we'll go to the sperm bank to get artificially inseminated and rear a beautiful family together. The kids can call her Mom and me Mama so that they won't be confused with having two mothers and all.






Number 6: Gabrielle Union



Have you watched "Bad Boys 2"? What about "Bring It On"? If you haven't than I suggest you do cause when you do, you'll know why she's on the list.





Number 5: Tina Fey



Intelligence is sexy and Tina Fey has loads of that.

Talented, funny, smart, pretty - Ms.Fey is the whole package. She seems like the type that would like to debate you on everything. Politics, philosophy, what's for dinner tonight- everything.


Which is good cause the relationship is always intellectually stimulated but then I guess most of the time I would need to tell her to shut the hell up and put on the strap-on.


Ahem.


Also those glasses are hot.



Number 4: Marilyn Monroe





Seriously. You guys have got to see this coming.





Number 3: Gong Li


This woman have just recently entered my list. I think she looked gorgeous in "Memoirs of a Geisha", if not a little bit of a psychopath. But still gorgeous. I really don't get why Zhang Ziyi was cast as the most beautiful geisha when it's clear that Gong Li look so much better than her.


Either way, Gong Li goes on my "Lesbian One Night Stand" list. She's hot but I bet she's scary as hell.






Number 2: Barbara Mori





Anyone familiar with those trashy Mexican telenovelas would know who Barbara Mori is. "Rubi" anyone? I think she is the most beautiful woman on Planet Earth. Screw Miss Universe, Barbara Mori is the real deal. I know that dress she's wearing is fug but it's one of the few pictures that she's actually covered up. This woman cannot keep her clothes on.



I loved her in "Rubi". She was just simply magnificent playing the title character. Such a manipulative, crazy, greedy, deceitful, evil bitch. So delicious in her evil doings. Also one of the highlights of the show is when she screams "Pokeno mi amore?!! Pokeno?!!!" And I'll be at home going "Si bastardo!! Pokeno?!!! Pokeno?!!"

Number 1: Cate Blanchett



I know........unexpected.


But Cate has a certain ethereal beauty to her. She wasn't cast as Galadriel for nothing. She's a chameleon, always delivering her best in her movie roles and managed to look stunning on the red carpet. She's intelligent, she's mysterious, she's pure class. And that's why she's my number one pick of lesbian lover.


One day...I might just abandon Clive for her....
Might: Key operative word there.


I am tagging Natalija with this. I know she'll love it.

24 comments:

gypsy-on-the-move said...

Wait.... Who's that at number 7?? Amanda Bynes???? you couldn't even stand watching her movie last time and now she made it to your top 10....hmmm..
and oh yeah...how come Scarlett wasn't listed? =x

Peter Varvel said...

If I were a lesbian, YOU would definitely be on my list! I know because I agree with all of your choices on this post.
How's that for a backhanded compliment from a gay guy?

Tinesh said...

Nice list..Buncha eye candy.. Since Ima straight guy, I would do Lucy Liu, Marilyn Monroe and The spanish senorita. Also in my list are Lindsay Lohan (pre cocaine, Penelope Cruz and my ultimate dream girl, Salma Hayek :D

Tinesh said...

Owh and the pic of Gong Li, when I first saw the promo for Memoirs, I had a HUGE crush on her..Frickin sexy pic man

Tine said...

Dude, Mariah Carey? WTF? :p

I so agree with you on Gabrielle Union. I think she's SO hot. That ass, OMG.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Gypsy:

Amanda grew on me eversince I saw her in Hairspray. She's pretty cute and very low key......I guess you will never let me live this down right?

And Scarlett, well I realise she's just a bimbo with big boobs. And mata dia juling skit lah. Nice rack and basically that's it. Sad actually.

Peter:

If I were a gay guy, I would totally be lusting after you. Fo sho'. And thank you, thank you. I know I have great taste in women =p

T-man:

Yes, Lucy Lui is hotstuff. But Barbara Mori is waaaay hotter but I shall settle with my gay lover Cate Blanchett. There's just something about her.

And Gong Li? That woman is just so damn beautiful. I completely agree with you. That is a sexy picture.

Pourpres~ said...

Gong Li is hot. And Cate Blanchett, I would so totally rape that one. Amanda Bynes, I get it in the sense that her body is tight. Can't agree with Mariah Carey though.

I like this list. Making it a tag :D

Zikri said...

but i want tina fey

Natalija said...

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVEEEE Rubi!! OMGOMGOMG.. I thought no one else knows abt her. We're soulmates!!

evie said...

cate blanchett is totally spot on. it's almost like i had this conversation elsewhere before... hmmm

turtle said...

what? no haters yet?? damn. where's all the fun? turtle is bored. lol!

lucy liu is sexeeh..lol

and you were right, i was like WTF when you listed mariah.

oohhh..i love tina fey! smart people are sexeeh too..*ahem* LOL

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Tine:

I know!...I dunno why I'm attracted to Mariah either. I think its the boobies. And the legs. But definitely the boobies =p

And yes Gabrielle's ass....I know

Pourpres:

Hahaha! What you gona rape her with? A strap-on dildo....actually not a bad idea. ;-p

And oh get on with it, I totally wanna see your lesbo list.

Zikri:

It's okay. We can....share ;-p

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Natalija:

Totally!! BFF!! OMG did you yelled at the TV too?

I mean Hector was just a possesive psycho bastard wasnt he? And Alajendro...macam hot sangat pun yg semua minah tangkap syok kat dia. And I totally wanna bitch slap Maribel and her "goody goody" act but TOTALLY worships the ground Rubi walked on.

Maaaan....I miss that show.

Evie:

Evie, I see that you have excellent taste in women too. *pats Evie on the back*

Turtle:

I know!!! Mariah is soooooo skanky and trashy but but.....I dunno lah. I think she's hot. The list need at least one skank since the rest arent really skans. And if you say Marilyn was.....well she's dead already. Don't speak ill of the dead now. =p

And oh yeah, smart people are totally sexay
;-p

Natalija said...

YAH like Alejandro, tu es stupido!! Maribel es sucko!!

Anyway I did it. DONE. As soon as I saw the tag. 2 hours tops. :P

Tinesh said...

I forgot Jessica Biel! :D

faye said...

"If you can't take a joke than I suggest you take that stick stuck up your asses and your dignified selves elsewhere. No one making you stay and read my blog at gun point now, are they?"

Well said CD. Well said. *in a Michael Caine voice*

Quin Browne said...

peter and i are SO going to talk about this....


and, i'm with you on your #1 pick.

winda said...

omg, yes CD, wtf, mimi??!!??
but okay, okay, since she's in the one-night-stand list i guess it's okay. Lust takes control sometime, no ;)

agree on cate blanchett. She is totally ethereal!! Eversince i saw her as galadriel i begun to think that she is indeed an elf!

Good thing that you totally will never not lusting clive or these women need to be warned lol

Shireen K said...

agreed on the number 1 spot... but i just see her as a really good actress.. and i must say she does has a certain level of class and sophisticated.

no lesbian's tendencies..really :)

Adrienne said...

i would go lesbo for scarlett.. ;D miss me? heuheueh

Adrienne said...

oh! i'm liking ur banner

fie the elf said...

whys my name not on that list you bitch

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Natalija:

Ouuuu, I will totally check it out!

T-man:

You forgot her...or her ass? Cause I think her ass is more famous than she is. If you get what I'm sayin....

Faye:

Well it's true. Them fuckers have to just chill you know. I mean...it's not like I was the one who shoved the stick up their asses. The fucking stick get there by their own doing.

Tak suka, blah ah. Menyibuk jer.

Quin:

Hahaha. And I knew choosing the whole Cate thing would please you. Woman is clas-sy. =P

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Winda:

Hahahah! I know, the presence of Mimi on the list have been disturbing for most people. Haha!! And yes, these women are just back-up if there ever comes a day when I no longer lust for Clive.

But like you said...it'll never happen =p

Shireen K:

Really? Not even a little bit? =p

Adrienne:

Scarlett got awesome boooooobies! =p . And my banner's pretty girly, no?

Fie:

Your name need not be mentioned. You know I want joooo! =p