Friday, September 26, 2008

Bitch move

Tonight, I got all bitchily territorial.

See, I used to be with this guy. We are no longer....you know, lets just leave it at that. But at that point he had this "girl buddy" who was his "close friend". Okay, fine. Platonic and all that
. But the thing is I always knew that this "close friend" always wanted more from him. So when I got into the picture, she became a total bitch towards me.

Fine. Right. Whatever. This was in the past.



Whatever that was between me and him have ended but for some reason I have never stopped not liking her. She was a total bitch towards me. She used to give me the cold shoulder, to pretend that I was not there when I talk to her but somehow she completely changed when he's around. Like "OMG!! I love CD! She's my BFF" and then did a complete flip when he's not around.

Get what I'm sayin?
But I was young. We were young. Shit happens.

Today I bumped into her. She happens to work in some coffee shop that I always go too. It's been 5 years okay. I have moved on. She still works there. She came up to me as I was buying coffee. It's strange, when I was with him she used to pretend I'm invisible. Now that we no longer have him as a link between us, she goes out of her way to be nice. I don't get it.

So I was standing at the counter ordering my coffee when she just showed up next to me.

"Hey CD! How are you?!"

I stared at her. I know who she is. I can tell you her full name and residential address. I can even recite her whole fucking family tree.

"Oh I'm fine thanks......I'm sorry, but do I know you?"

"Oh its me Shasha*."

"...........................Shasha...............I'm sorry that doesn't ring a bell."

"Uhhhh................we used to hang out. You used to go out with my friend Rob*"

"You're his friend?"

"Yeah."

"I've never noticed you."

Silence.

"Uhhh........but we used to hang out."

"Did we? It's been years. I've been busy..........wait. I think I remember you. Oh yeah. Didn't you used to work here too?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Oh. I'm flying off next year. Furthering my studies and all that. So you still work here? Have you been promoted?"

"Not really......."

"But haven't you been working here for a long time?"

"Uhhh.........."

"Oh well, I guess a job is better than no job at all."

"Uhhhh............"

"Oh well I need to ciou now. Need to meet up with friends. So I'll see you around..........I'm sorry what was your name again?"

"Shasha."

"Right. Bye Shasha, nice meeting you."




In the span of 2 minutes I managed to dissed her job and made her feel as insignificant as she used to make me feel. I guess this is an achievement of sorts but, the thing is I'm not feeling proud of myself. I mean, why the hell did the inner bitch came out, out of nowhere? Am I still bitter over the whole thing after 5 years? I guess unknowingly I must have been.



At one point in my life, what I've done would have made me proud of myself. But somehow it just left a vile feeling down my throat now. I should have let it be. But for some reason I need to unleash it tonight. I wonder how she feels now. Not so good, I guess. I dissed what she do and made her feel small. Over something that happened between us, years ago, regarding some guy that I couldn't give a fuck about anymore.




Mean girls.
I've become one of them.

19 comments:

Sturdy Girl said...

I think when this stuff happens we are more mad at the person (ourselves) who let ourselves be treated badly in the past and did nothing about it in the moment. When we try to make things right later, we just end up feeling like you feel now.

The older I get the more I realize that the time to act on anything is now. Or never.

Technodoll said...

My god, darling, that was a biiiitchy terrible thing to do!

I guess the important thing is that you recognize it was a shitty thing that didn't make you feel any better, so next time you're in such a situation maybe it'll give you some perspective..

That's how people grow :-)

Pourpres~ said...

Ah well, it's a sign you're growing up. You know better that people who bring others down needs to do so to feel better about themselves. If it doesn't make you feel better about yourself, as with this case, then you've moved on. Just some bad habits die hard :p

Mike Valentino said...

Jesus Christ! You are a horrible person. May the hellfire you flirt with turn your cheeks a rosey red.

cc of Quaint Melody said...

Don't beat yourself over it. We all have a mean little bitch in us that unleashes herself every now and then, it's there regardless whether we want to admit it or not. I too sometimes surprise myself with some remarks I make over totally insignificant things happened a long time ago. I guess we all carry a little grudge in our subconscious that
s waiting for moments to be let out and be truly in the pass.

Peter Varvel said...

Daaaaaamn, TCDO. You gotta teach me how to never get on your bad side!
Do you believe in karma?

Farid said...

oh CD, i didn't think it was that bad. in fact, i'm quite proud of you and a little jealous. Obviously she's been a bitch to you way back when and it's always been an issue you've never gotten over. this is something you've never dealt with properly. when she was a bitch to you've never properly addressed the issue with her. so it remained unacknowledged and, over the years, dormant, leaving you with the slightest bit of regret in the back of your head. And it's not your fault. you were probably not as strong back then.

Fast forward 5 years and you finally see Sasha again and it all comes crashing in. the hate, the frustrations, the score that was never settled. out comes the inner bitch. see, when you did what you did to her, it was your inner psyche that was being a bitch to Sasha. It was you, but not really. It was CD 5 years ago. the CD that was left feeling self-pity and regret for 5 years. The CD with the issue that was left unaddressed. Well she's back now and she's addressing it!

True, more appropriate and polite words could've been chosen. But you dealt with the issue anyway. You got your chance to settle the score with her. Things could've been worse. You could've gone through life and have never encountered Sasha again, ever. but as kismet would have it, she and you were placed in the same room at that point in time.

You got a second chance, an opportunity to let Sasha know that she was a bitch and she should never have messed you up. Which one of us wouldn't give anything to deal with our issues of days gone by. which one of us wouldn't wish to turn back time to deal with it or in the very least wished for a second chance to do so. which one of us wouldn't wish to give the Sasha's of our lives the finger for being such a nasty cunt to us.

Very few are the ones who get a chance like you did and i'm proud you took that chance. So don't feel bad. The way i see it, you did what you did to Sasha not because you hate her but because you love yourself enough to not allow the self-pitying and regret to continue.

Tinesh said...

waliao bitchy as hell... i laaaaike :D

Charlotte said...

I would have done exactly the same!

fara said...

myyyyyyy, kudos kudos.

Natalija said...

dude wth are you talking about? REVENGE IS SWEET BABY!! No feeling guilty! Say it with me. One down *insert number* to go.

I've been meaning to do the same thing to quite a number of bitches on my poopoo list. But thing is, I NEVER see them anymore. must be laden with babies and leading a boring mediocre life. I HOPE.

How am I supposed to have my revenge like this??!

fie the elf said...

nyehehehehehe i agree with farid

Quin Browne said...

i was a bit surprised when i started reading the post... but, you made me proud at the end.

yes, we all have unresolved issues, and yes, it's so great if we get a chance to fix them... however, like you, i would get that vile feeling... and i wonder if it was worth it.

kill 'em with kindness is my motto.


the best revenge is, you are living a great life, with an amazing future before you.

and that you are NOT a mean girl at all...

MisSmall said...

For what it's worth, I'm proud of you. If only I could pull the same thing on every bitches that's come my way! And from what you've described, this one is, okay, was no doubt one!

So she was a total bitch to you before (oh I hate those boyfriend's girl buddy who acts like they own the boy), and you were a bitch to her today. Call it even and start a clean slate. Don't loose sleep over it.

And if you ever hold a 'revenge is best served cold' workshop, I'll be there in a heartbeat. lol

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Hey guys thanks for the comment. Those who were for it and those who were againts it too.

I just dunno how to answer back. I just know that was a total bitch move. But thanks for the comments nonetheless.

Taxy Driver said...

Hmmm... was wondering why that post made me wanna justify what you did so much... cold vengeful heart I must have too. So, I wiki-ed it. Look at this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_Satan#The_Nine_Satanic_Statements

Read number 5. Fascinating, what the internet churns up.

Anonymous said...

ah, you do remember me.haha.

Tine said...

OMG, you bitch!

I'm SO SO SO proud of you ;)

rujing said...

too funny!
i know you feel bad, but you have to admit, it was pretty funny!
now go and donate a whole heap of money to your nearest charity, that should off-set your karma, lol.
xx