Monday, November 03, 2008

The Constantly Dramatic One's Shit List: Part 2

Today on the second installment of "The Constantly Dramatic One's Shit List", I would like to bitch about......pronunciations. Yes, that's right. Pronunciations. But before that a little introduction first.




This is the section on Dramatic Musings in which I just wanna bitch in, okay? Just let me be. Most people think I have unresolved anger issues. Most people think that my unresolved issues exhibits itself especially when I'm behind the steering wheel. Most people think I should deal with whatever it is that's making me angry. To most people, this is what I say:





Now I'm no grammar Nazi like some people, nor am I a language elitist but there are some shit that need to be pronounced properly. Such as names. My name is the Constantly Dramatic One. I expect you to pronounce it as the Con-stant-ly Dra-ma-tic One. Okay? Such as you expect other people to pronounce your name pro-per-ly.



I notice lately and by lately I mean on TV that some TV personalities like to pronounce Malaysia as "Maleeeeziaaaaahh". Bitch, wtf? Listen, I understand that you think that you are cool, that you are in fact on TV after all and I'm not. Okay, fine, whatever. But really the fact that you are so inherently Malay and so inherently Malaysian and I know bitch, I know you grew up in Sungai Petani, Kedah* gives you no fucking excuse whatsoever to mispronounce the name of our motherland.




It's Ma-lay-sia you little skank whore. Not Ma-leeeee-zi-aaaaahhh. What the fuck is Maleeeeezzziaaaahhh anyways? Sounds like a fucking venereal disease. Do you have it bitch? That's why you find the need to educate the public about it? I'm sorry that you have "Maleeeezzzziaaaahhh" on your vagina now, but that's not my fault nor it is the country's. It is yours.



By affecting yourself with what clearly is a damn stupid accent does not up your cool factor. It makes you look like an affected, wannabe, venereal-disease-having-skank-whore. Just let it be. If you weren't born in the UK, why the hell do you find the need to speak like you are? You are not Bristish, you are from Sungai Petani. Embrace your roots. Be proud of it. Don't try to cover it with your idiotic, affected accent.



So the next time you feel the need to speak out loud the name of our motherland, please acknowledge its pronunciation and adhere by it. If your name is Dipship, you wouldn't want people to call you Asswipe now do you?



It's only common courtesy.


*******************************
Footnotes.


1) The use of "Sungai Petani, Kedah" is just to drive home a point. She is not from Sungai Petani. I do not know where she if from but I'm sure it is not from the UK. However, I am just trying to make a point here.



2) For part one of "the Constantly Dramatic One's Shit List" go here.



3) To give me a piece of your mind, please key in GO-FUCK-YOURSELF on your mobile phone.



That would be all. Thank you for your attention.

14 comments:

Farid said...

ahahaha, dumbass!

Natalija said...

Y'noe May Lee the talk show host? Well she has this stupid recurring commercial on hallmark bout when she traveled the world and blablabla..

So she stopped in Melaka right? And even thought the Baba firmly said he was PERANAKAN, like 17 million times.. she still kept saying pah-raaah-neck-kiiin. As if her way of saying it was cooler or some shit!

Like, I wouldn't ever mispronounce or mangle any english word with my accent. I won't say hamburger as hammmm-bar-jer. And she's korean summore. Irks me so much with that stupid fake american accent.

I LOATHE HER.

Technodoll said...

he he! we have all kinds of fucktards here on tv and on the radio who mispronounce things so badly, you wonder what language they're speaking in.

For real, I feel so embarassed for them Frenglos.

Frank said...

I could write a whole book on how mispronunciations make me want to claw my eyes out...but I won't...at least not yet.

Prince Gomolvilas said...

Ha ha ha! I didn't even know it was possible to pronounce it "Maleeeeezzziaaaahhh." Ha ha ha!

Peter Varvel said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

One of our coworkers had to call an applicant with the first name 'Shithead.' I am not lying!
When she called the young woman, she said her first name was pronounced "shi-THEE-add" not 'shit head' ha ha ha ha ha!

sab said...

i heard on AXN one time they pronunced it as Ma-lair-sia. i thought that's the proper way.

and i was like "wtf? i was wrong all these years for saying it as Ma-lay-sia?"

now i know it's just some accent... haha! thanks for clarifying.

senorita.. said...

speechless.


here:

Malaysia |məˈlā zh ə|

or

Malaysian |məˈleɪziən| |məˈleɪʒən


courtesy of Macbook's dictionary

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Farid:

Indeed.

Natalija:

Wait, she's not American?

Eh to be fair she is a foreigner. Can cut her some slacks. It's the locals with the fake accents that pisses me off.

Techno:

Dude, I actually have to Google up "Frenglos"...haha =p

Frank:

It's okay if they really cannot pronounce the word you know. But what irks me is the existance of a fake accent to make it sound "cool". Damn stooopid.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Prince:

Well good. I dont want to whoop your ass too. Hahaha!!

Peter:

Ahahaha!! OMG, my bro's middle name is "Aswad" and you Americans can never pronounce it right. They keep on calling my bro "Ass....wipe?"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sab:

Malaysian ppl are known to create a fake accent so that they would come across as "cool". Don't ask me why a fake accent would make you cool but apprently it does. Some weird Malaysian thing that even I couldnt comprehend.

And no, you got it right the first time =)

Senorita:

...........Basically that is the fancy shmancy way of saying "MA-LAY-SIA" lah wei.

I'll try to find a youTube video of that bitch and send it to you so that you can hear how she says it. Damn annoying ok.

winda said...

ah, we had one cinta laura with her accent. And boy, do we "adore" her ;)
http://wiki.cahandong.org/Cinta_Laura

so much love, some of us made this:
http://cinta.monyetpinter.com/

yeah, sorry, cant find all english page. But i bet there's lot of video of her on youtube. Need to know her accent when saying all those stuff, CD, priceless!

evie said...

sungai petani... HAHAHAHAHAHA.

splatme said...

hey! how come i don't have a GO-FUCK-MYSELF key on my cellphone??? hehehe... i still have a long way of catching up to do with your blog...

Tine said...

Hiya babes, sorry I've been MIA from your blog for a while. Now catching up on the last of your 15 entries :P

About pronounciation, you know when people begin their sentences with "That means ..." I've heard of some people meaning to use those words, but going "Thats mean ..."

Kill 'em right now.